Too shy to branch out by myself!

[hellojello]

Hey guys...

I recently started college with my boyfriend. My college is not too far from my town, and I still work in the city. My roommate was a friend from high school. As you can see, I'm very closed in here, because I didn't have the usual new roommate that I could make friends with, I just already was friends with her. I haven't spent much time at the dorms either.

 

With my boyfriend, it makes it harder to meet guy friends too, because he's there. Usually guys just come up to me, I mean, I've never really had to try hard. So what do I do to meet some good friends, both girls and guys? I'm so shy, and I don't really want to just go out and join something...

 

I guess that's my problem, but I want some other suggestions too, besides joining something. Is that possible?

[S4il]

Voyage out More, i know while Visiting some College Towns (University of Stevens Point Wisconsin) that party's along with good clubs are in close Perimeter to your college campus, Your choice to go to those clubs of course, or hang-out at places where "other" college people Congregate, But since you have a B/f and he is in the same college as you are. You both attend and spend your time with each others, That is where it gets tricky, I'm sure your feeling like You want to meet new and interesting people, But Your Shyness is stepping in front of your every attempt in your mind. and also you might be thinking your b/f would get offended if 'other' guys were talking to you that you just meet.

 

It sucks i know, I *Was* the same way...But Overcoming The Shy Feeling, and Learning to generate a good First impression, While meeting new people; Does take time, and you will take the initiative to go up to someone you find appealing (guy/Girl) and start up a conversation. You have to keep telling yourself that, I WILL I WILL I WILL, and slowly your confidence Pushes and commences a "BLOCK" & Shyness just Slips away because your confidence is taking over, And In addition that shy feeling goes away, And Wont Rent Space in your mind, and you start to see yourself going up to more people.

 

Trust me sweetie..After the first Time, It's like Riding a Bike..You never Loose that ability, So take what i said into consideration. That Shy People get no where really, you Need to Live your College life.....Well Like a College student..have Fun, P A R T Y, get to know People, with your b/f or without, If you and him are close..he Wont have a problem with that. Myself i'm Only 22 and i now have enough courage/confidence, (thanks To this Site) to go up to girls, Sometimes 3-5 in one night, and end up with 3 Numbers, I'm not bragging about how i can do this, But before i would just Sit up on the wall at these clubs and expect *girls* to approach me....um that never happened. haahah

 

now it's Quite Easy When "breaking Ice"

 

It's More like Breaking the Surface on stagnant water, just have to make an effort, And read what the sort of Splash and Ripple effect you get back, If the person is Envious towards you, Forget them..self-centered people Suck,

 

[you will run into those types, just walk away with your head up high. let them think they missed out on something good] 50% of the time that person will come back.

 

But Most of the time, If you test water before you enter. your not going to get as much "thermo Shock" You know what i mean, Eye Contact...a few times. Throw a Smile Out, or see if a guy smiles at you.

 

One time i entered a Club (first walking in the door) and I yelled "HEY EVERYBODY GOODBYE HAVE A GREAT NIGHT."

 

Reverse psychology is so powerful, I had at least 10 people laughing at what i Yelled Out, After.. i had girls coming up to me left and right:

 

^saying "(laughing) why exactly did you do that?" ^

 

that in part started a conversation, Which got me Phone Numbers/E-mails/Direct Contacts, and have even hung-out with 5 of those girls that night, all of them being friends, and Now are "My Friends" all great looking, with a BANGING personality. It's all in what you show someone. Just make it Your *NEW* M.O (Method Of Operation) to introduce yourself to people, Well, I hope i helped ya' out.. Keep Me posted, Good Luck!

[JadeMonkey]

I would say to try and meet new people anyway. If your boyfriend gets mad, just tell him what you are doing. Why should you not have new friends because you have a boyfriend.

 

its one thing to not want to hurt him, but its different if he doesnt want other guys near you.

 

If your roommate doesnt understand why you want to go do these things, just tell them you want to meet more people.

 

make friends in classes if you can find the time in class to talk to others, I am a Junior in college (an EXTREMELY shy guy, so i know how hard it is to make friends) and I have met all my friends here through classes, my dorm, or friends of friends. Plus it pays to have lots of friends in your major (depending on the size of the school you will probably see them a lot through your school career).

 

If you play a particular sport you could also sign up for intramurals

 

and the following is a personal pet peeve:

 

you don't have to go get drunk at parties to make friends.