I broke NC after almost 8 months

[coco_angel]

So if you dont the whole story he cheated and I started NC..I didnt return any of his phone calls or text messages or anything. And last night I broke NC!

 

At first I told him to leave me alone but then I felt I needed to finally get things off my chest and tell him over the phone to just stop. I mean he got married last month and still he was constantly trying to talk to me. He told me he was sorry and I said not good enough. Then he asked if we can be friends!

 

He said he realized how much he hurt me and that it was eating him up all the time. We started talking about our lives and how we were doing because he asked me. And then he like started calling me the nick name that he had for me when we were together...it was just weird.

 

He wants to call me more often and I told him I am not ready to be his friend because I can't trust him. He said he understands but he still wants to try and I just feel like why the hell now... Obviously the teenager that he married isn't doing it for him!!!

 

And he also said "I hope if you need anyone to talk to, that you would call me" . Why the hell would I call him??? There is more but I just dont feel like writing it.

 

Honestly I am not shocked by him calling me ...he has been doing it since we broke up. What I am surprised by is the friendship bs....we were good friends when we were together before he started cheating....he just messed t all up!

 

I know I shouldnt pick up the phone anymore because its just freakin pathetic..when we were talking it was almost like he was looking for approval of his new life and accomplishments and to show that he has matured but that is bs.......

 

He said he doesnt have another motive for talking to me other than apologizing and wanting to be my friend but i dont know.

 

Enough of my rabling just an update on that bs.... part of me says just tell him to f*** off and part of me thinks that talking to him for bit wont be as harmful as I think. What do you think I should do?

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Since he is married to the other person, cut him out of your life. Don't let him get the best of both worlds...both women, even if he is just talking to you. He made his choice, now let him live with it...obviously he is not that happy with his choice if he is running after you. Too bad. Stay out of his life for your own sanity and so that you don't get used by him. I wonder if his wife knows that he is in touch with you. This man is playing you both and you deserve much better.

[agualibre777]

Wow you are really beautiful!! Is that really your picture? No WONDER he is being such a fool. But you deserve more. It seems like this whole marriage thing is to hurt you. How can he get married after cheating on you with her and only being broke up with you for 7 months?? That's ridiculous. This whole thing seems incredibly bizarre. Let him go, let him go. It's hard, so hard, makes the heart sore. But go out with friends, get some exercise, write, read express yourself, do something for yourself... And don't ever talk to him again!!!!!

[honeyspur]

Sorry to hear this cocoangel - I think it's just a relapse - get back on the wagon and take Superdave's Challenge - - or just check in and see others going through the day to day process.

 

Don't worry too much and things should be ok.

[Siriana]

What a jerk. How disrespectfull of him toward his wife. Don't get into that mess.

I have several ideas why he wants you as a friend and they are certainly not nice and a word friend is "friend" in this case.

 

I don't know why he behaves that way, but it is wrong.

I have a similar situation, where an ex calls me (I ignore him) and he has a gf. And I have a bf I care a lot about and he knows it!

God knows what they think in their heads. Only a good psychiatrist could tell. And what is the use of us finding out?

 

Back to ignoring route. You really have to. He is putting you in a very humiliating situation by his silly friendship request. if you agree on that than you'll be putting yourself in a humiliating situation and that is much worse.

 

REMEMBER: if you tricked me once shame on you, if you tricked me twice shame on me.

USE IT AS A MANTRA

[lmtl]

Did you hear the one about the married man who leaves his wife for his girlfriend...

 

THAT'S RIGHT - because it doesn't happen!!!

 

Don't let him string you along. Why would you ever want a cheating man. You deserve a man who loves you and only you. Don't ever settle for being less than #1.

 

You are smart enough not to fall for it, just continue NC, heal, and the right one will come along that you won't have to share with any other woman.

[coco_angel]

Yes yes ......all posts so true NC is back in effect!!!!.. and agian he texted me again yesterday..asking me how my day was. It is sad that he doesn't love his wife obviously. But that is what she gets for getting in the middle of our relationship. And it is what he deserves for cheating on me and marrying a 19 yr old..a freakin baby. No longer my concern ...I will remain on NC.

 

My main concern is not carrying emotional baggage into another relationship. In my line of work..I meet alot of young professional men that I am interested in and would give a chance and now I really do feel like I am ready to start going out on dates.

 

I have one this friday..it should be interesting lol ... He is cute but I dont know him enough to even trust him one bit. We shall see...

[keefy1972]

Yes Aqualibre she is absolutely beautiful. Coco...how you doin'??

 

Seriously though, this ex ...it is douchebags like that that keep nice guys on this website complaining about finishing last. I hope you can let go of this loser and give a genuinely nice guy a chance.

[GottaLetItBurn]

You said your tired of the friendship bs, I hate that too. I had experienced not after cheating, but when she decided to go back to her ex while having me wait on an answer.

 

Like nothing happened at all. I know that feeling your going through, it's unbelievable. It makes you really mad too, which is on top of all the other mix of feelings going through your head, and that's bad.

 

You just have to remind yourself of the things that you know are true. He didn't cherish you. No normal person would ever do anything to risk losing you, unless they are very stupid. In time he will see how stupid he was, and probably end up all alone. If by chance, he ends up getting married to some other girl, chances are by his bad decision making, that it won't last. He messed up his chance to be with you, and picked the person who in the long run isn't what he wanted. Call it Karma.

 

He will be miserable either way, because he didn't know a good girl when he had one. Just remind yourself that you didn't do anything wrong. You loved someone, and they took you for granted. Try to ignore his calls, you can give plenty of better guys a chance. He is the one that girls are going to be wasting there time on. Take care of yourself.