Age gap?!

[donescobar2000]

I am a 25 year old male who has recently started talking to an 18 year old. We seem to have a lot in common basically just wanted to get peoples opinion on this situation. Does the age thing really matter? Trust me I have thought about this very much!

[equinox]

That's like a fried of mine, she's 18 and her boyfriend is 24. My opinion on age gap releations is that they are not a good idea. I'll put it to you like this, if you were 18, she would only be 11. My advice to you is to back out of it. At 18, she barely more than a child and although she may have interests that are like yours she has a lot of growing up to do. It also doesn't look good to others, people might think that your intentions toward her aren't good. I know that men generally date women a little younger than them but my limit would be 2 years younger, be careful man.

[donescobar2000]

I hear you man...most definitley...I have given those things you stated a thought. How is your friend and her boyfriend doing? Is it acutally working out?

[equinox]

I hear you man...most definitley...I have given those things you stated a thought. How is your friend and her boyfriend doing? Is it acutally working out?

 

My friend is in bits, she thinks she's in love with the guy while just last week she was about to break up with him. Every one of her male friends has told her he's bad news. I have told her this too as what she has told me of him just doesn't sound good. The tragity is that he's leaving Ireland, where I live, to go to the USA in June and my poor friend is gonna stay with him and she knows she's gonna get her heart broken.

 

The whole thing with her is a mess and I think it's simply because she's too imature and she's letting her feelings get the better of her. She's going get her heart broken so it's a disaster in the mix.

 

Now I'm not saying that this would happen to you at all but like I did say, at 18 she wouldn't be very mature and that wouldn't be a good thing. I just don't think that, at a young age like that, a releationship with a fully mature man is a good thing. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with you at all, just that she has a lot of growing up left to do.

[Hope75]

At 18 and 25 you are both adults- so really the question is, are you in a similar place in your life as she is, and do you share enough common ground to establish and maintain a relationship?

 

Some potential roadblocks to consider are:

 

1. does she live at home with parents who may enforce a curfew (some parents still do on thier adult children living at home)

 

2. She cannot go to bars or clubs with you- is this a part of your life, and would you forsee it as an issue?

 

3. Is she in college and are you done and in the workforce, and would that schedule difference be a factor?

 

4. Is she emotionally and intellectually mature- or on an equal level with you? What are her interests and hobbies? What are yours? Are they compatible?

 

I think as long as you consider these things and do not find them to be an issue, than there is nothing wrong with 2 adults dating and seeing where things go.

[Luke Skywalker]

No, I dont see a problem with it. I'm 30 y/o and dealing with an 18 y/o girl.

As long as she's above the legal age in your jurisdiction then it's fine.

[charley]

That's not even much of an age gap. It should not be a problem, unless her parents are against it. I think that's the question. However, if you're a nice and responsible guy, you really care about her, and you treat her good, then I think they'll probably be perceptive enough to appreciate you.

 

What matters most is what you think, what she thinks, and to some extent what her parents think. The rest of us are just scenery.

[donescobar2000]

1. does she live at home with parents who may enforce a curfew (some parents still do on thier adult children living at home)

 

Yea she does...I dont mind it though...

 

2. She cannot go to bars or clubs with you- is this a part of your life, and would you forsee it as an issue?

 

I dont do bars or clubs...

 

3. Is she in college and are you done and in the workforce, and would that schedule difference be a factor?

 

I work and I am a musican in the Washington D.C area.

 

4. Is she emotionally and intellectually mature- or on an equal level with you? What are her interests and hobbies? What are yours? Are they compatible?

 

She literally teaches me new things I did not know on a daily basis. I feel like I am in school again when I talk to her on the phone. She is a huge gamer too...I am bit too. She loves too talk...I like to listen...lol.

 

 

Thank you all for the advice!

[MissTee]

I was 19 when I met my by who was 27 ( we are now 20 and 28 ) and hit it off!

 

A year later, we are now living together and are competely in love and have a very healthy relationship.

 

We are both working and are career driven.

 

Since moving in together and becoming more serious, we have discussed our future and where we are in our lives. We've discussed marriage, buying a house and children and have mutually agreed that these things are much further down the track as I am not ready. Luckily for me, he is on the same level as I am. We both have our individual goals and also mutual goals which is great for our relationship.

 

He is quite accomplished in his career and he helps me nurture my career which is just starting. I have already been through quite a bit in life and was in accelerated learning throughout school. I completed highschool at 15. I am very emotionally and intellectually mature so we hardly even notice the gap. I find guys my own age too immature and intellectually under developed.

 

Also, we are in Australia where the legal age for drinking and clubbing is 18 so that has never been a problem for us.

 

Finally, I had a two and half year relationship before him. This previous relationship was great as it taught me alot about how to behave in relationships, communication and trust. Without this knowledge, I doubt we would be as great as we are. '

 

There are alot of things to consider, but if it works... it works!

 

Go with it.

[donescobar2000]

Thanks! I will see what happens...I just started talking to her so we will see...its been about a week and half since we started talking.