5 months NC(ish) and might have to see her...

[hjc]

We split up 6 months ago (exactly today but irrelevant!) and apart from the odd email contact (primarily attempts to set up a chance to meet up which all failed) and one phone conversation I haven't seen my ex.

 

I thought I was over her and I have been "dating" (literally been out on a few dates but not what I would term "going out" or "seeing") someone new (early days, no commitment and I'm not misleading the new person about anything)....but if I'm honest I want my ex back and have been thinking about her far too much recently.

 

Out of the blue before Christmas my ex contacted me and suggested meeting up. I agreed to and we fixed a date and she cancelled on me that morning and rescheduled for the following day...and then cancelled (for what I think were legitimate work reasons). Since then nothing.

 

 

This Friday is the birthday of a mutual friend and I feel obliged to attend her party. My ex is also invited and I have no idea if she's going or not. What I do know is that I'm not sure seeing her there for the first time in months is really the way I want to meet her again. So I'm considering contacting my ex to find out if she's going, tell her that I am and suggest that if we're both going we meet up before then so that isn't the big reunion....

 

Thoughts? Incidentally she has been seeing someone else (and almost certainly thinks/knows that I am doing the same)...don't think she'd bring him (and I'm not taking anyone) but if she did that could make it ten times worse.

 

Any advice?

[redding500]

I would skip the party. Only go to the party if you find out your ex is definitely not going, and because you're going to the party to support your friend. Right now the ball is in your ex's court with regard to you, she has cancelled on you twice. Don't seem too eager.

[hjc]

I would skip the party. Only go to the party if you find out your ex is definitely not going, and because you're going to the party to support your friend. Right now the ball is in your ex's court with regard to you, she has cancelled on you twice. Don't seem too eager.

 

All good stuff but how do I find out if she's going without either asking her or the mutual friend (who is bound to tell her that I've asked). And frankly I think the mutual friend wants us to get back together (or at least be on talking terms so this kind of thing doesn't arise) so could well manipulate things.....so only option to really find out is talk to the ex.

 

Agree with not seeming keen though. Is always possible the ex perceives the same issue and contacts me I guess...

[redding500]

Huh. The mutual friend sounds very manipulative. Then I would have to say call in sick at the last minute. If you ex is seeing someone, she will most likely bring him, and count on you being there to see it. I don't see much to gain from you going to the party, but if you don't go . . . and you ex does, she will notice that you're not there. Yeah, don't go.

[ManOfPlans]

Hello,

 

I had a similar situation a month ago regarding a party, though my circumstances were slightly different.

 

Best of luck!

[christianh1607306450]

Very helpful ManOfPlans...thanks. Still not sure what to do - I guess I'm secretly hoping that either my ex will contact me beforehand or that i find out she's definitely not going....but of course life isn't that easy!

[SuperDave71]

Hey ManofPlans,

 

Your post and feedback should be plenty for this one.

 

 

Let him know what happened to you and your story.

 

 

 

Thanks,

 

 

SuperDave71

[hjc]

Hey ManofPlans,

 

Your post and feedback should be plenty for this one.

 

 

Let him know what happened to you and your story.

 

 

Thanks,

 

 

SuperDave71

 

Wow! The great SD drops in to check in on my thread...thank you Sir!

 

I've read ManofPlans thread and my gut feel right now is to do what I feel is right come Friday...not gonna contact the ex and not gonna make any plans.

 

Thanks again gang. I love this place!

[SuperDave71]

I don't know about the great comment...BUt I am me.

 

Thank you.

 

 

 

You do what HJC wants to do without expectations.....PERIOD.

 

 

You hold you head up high and keep your back staright and you smile you .

 

 

If you go....go! Have a great time ..don't stare at yoru ex...don't brush her off. Be YOU!!!

 

If ya don't go.....do whatever it is YOU wanna do.

 

 

Keep moving forward and NEVER Look back!!!

 

 

 

-SuperDave71