Guy friends acting weird

[dontknowwhattodo]

Hi there, your input/insight will help me understand guys better I guess.

 

I have 2 male friends: one lives in my city (a.k.a Mr. A) and another one lives in other country (a.k.a. Mr. B).

 

Let's start with Mr. A. A friend of mine introduced Mr. A to me back in 2002. He was actually after my friend and later found out that she was married, so she brushed it off by introducing him to me (who was single at that time). When he first saw me, he told my friend that he wanted to date me but my friend told him to give me time. After I knew him a bit, I decided to tell my friend that I wouldn't mind getting to know Mr. A better and she delivered the message (the reason that I didn't tell him directly was because he never talked about this topic with me directly, usually it came through this friend). Mr. A and I were/are friends and we never crossed the friendship line.

 

Lately he has been acting weird. For example, he always expresses a wish to get together. He always sends me email wishing me happy holidays and stuff and sometimes calls. The thing is he can't call me or do anything with me on weekends. We once went to see a movie on a weekend but someone called and he had to rush home without telling me reason. During the movie, he constantly texted someone the whole time. Note that this guy is in his 40's and said that he lived alone (I was at his place once and at the time there was no one else). Lately, whenever Mr. A wanted to see me it would have to be an unplanned event during weekdays (i.e., me being spontaneous). I then suspected that he had some other girls (he told my friend about it but said he was not serious about these girls) and I started to pay less attention to Mr. A. However, whenever I decided to write him off from my life (e.g., delete his phone number and email), it seemed like he sensed it and I would get an email from him asking when we should get together. Several times he set up the date to get together and not time and said that he would call to fix the time, but never did so. My question is whether I should continue to be his friend or should I just leave it at that? I don't care if he has someone. We are friends and not dating, so I have no business what so over with his girls (if he has ones). I just want to manage my time better by doing something that interests me, rather than sitting and waiting for him to call to set up the time, which sometimes never comes true.

 

Now, Mr. B. I knew Mr. B also in 2002 (he is in his 30's and also single). We mostly talked through chat-messenger because of the distance. We know each other in person and are not online-only-firends. The thing is Mr. B has what I call 'hit-and-run' personality. Like he would come chatting with me for a few sentences and then say he had to go (to do something not work-related). Some times he would leave the conversation without saying goodbye. Note that most of the time the conversation was initiated by him. I noticed that Mr. B would talk to me longer when he was depressed, stressed with work or felt down. I think Mr. B and I know each other better than being just acquaintance and I do want him to listen to me sometimes to reciprocate the fact that I have been listening to his stories, but he rarely does. I lately never start the conversation with Mr. B myself and actually try not to go online all together to avoid this irritation. I once told Mr. B about my concern over his behavior, he got better for 1-2 weeks and then fell back to his normal-ness. My question for this is, the same as what I have for Mr. A, that is whether I should just stop being friend with Mr. B all together. Or if you guys have any advice how I should handle this situation better, I would apprecitate your advice and suggestion.

 

I hope this is not too boring for you guys and thank you in advance for your advice.

[robowarrior]

Its simply , friends relationships between men and woman don't exist, unless the other is lesbian or gay, there will always be a sexual stimulating intereaction, this because you can't stop nature. The guy falls in love with you and wants a relationship or vice versa.

 

So basically this answers why you think they are acting weird while they are just naturally falling in love with you.

 

My advice would be , no friends with men unless you don't mind a relationship coming from it. That will make you avoid and be in control of wether a relationship will form or not.

 

The most important question thereforeeee is , what do you want? Relationship or not? You can't have them as friends because this will lead them to want to be in a relationship with you. So you have to make a concession and certain choices that will lead to a desirable situation for you.

[dontknowwhattodo]

So basically this answers why you think they are acting weird while they are just naturally falling in love with you.

 

I am pretty sure they like me a lot but not sure if they fall in love with me. Met Mr. A the other day, and he constantly talked about how to manage his money, where to settle down and all the serious stuff about life. As usual, he tried to convince me that I should find a job at his hometown so that we both can eventually move there. I think he is at the age to seriously look for someone. Honestly, I wanna date him but I don't want to do all the chase.

 

I decided that Mr. B should be out of my life coz, too bad to say, I do feel like he is using me as his clutch. Whenever he feels fine, he drops me like a hot rock and makes me feel like I am no more wanted.

 

Thank you for your input. I really appreciate it.