my marraige

[deny]

hi i just recently found out my husband was having an affair with a firend of ours!!!!! he said he stoped it just before christmas? everything was fine then he goes out to the pub last nite and hasnt been seen or heardf from since im in such a mess i dont no what to do we have been married for 19 years this year an we have five children i dont want to just give up but it killing me what has been going on and it really hurting me we have known each other for 23 years so i just think its alot to just give up on

denise

[honeyspur]

I think it's ultimatum time.

Time to tell him you are both going to marriage counseling or you are out.

You don't want to give up - so don't.

Going to counseling is what can fix this - but only if he is willing.

 

You know you don't deserve this. You know your children need more than this. You wouldn't want one of your kids to stay in a marriage like this, would you?

Be strong and show them this is nonsense. You aren't going to take it and neither should they.

Do not be afraid.....there are people in your family and even his, that will support this. And you have all of us here....

[radioheader]

deny...i am so sorry...i have been in your shoes....it is so hard when your husband is having an affair (i've been married 14 years)...it is so hurtful and deceitful...i totally agree with honeyspur!

 

it is time to get serious about letting him know your boundaries and what you want from your marriage...counseling is a must and really can work if both parties are willing...also go get the book love must be tough by james dobson...it is a must read in your situation. i found it so helpful...(it has religious references so if you are not religious just over look them) he describes real life situations of affairs and unwilling partners and how to handle them when you want to try to get them to wake up and come back...

 

please get support for yourself and take care of yourself so you can be strong for your children. they are going to need you so much...and ask family members to help out too...it's time to call on those who are close to you! you are going to experience so many emotions and feelings thru all of this no matter how it ends up! stay strong....we are here if you need us!

[Rabican]

I think it's ultimatum time.

Time to tell him you are both going to marriage counseling or you are out.

You don't want to give up - so don't.

Going to counseling is what can fix this - but only if he is willing.

 

You know you don't deserve this. You know your children need more than this. You wouldn't want one of your kids to stay in a marriage like this, would you?

Be strong and show them this is nonsense. You aren't going to take it and neither should they.

Do not be afraid.....there are people in your family and even his, that will support this. And you have all of us here....

 

Couldnt have said it better.

Id take it a step farther... but still.

I would pack one bag of his clothes, and change the locks on the door. Put a note in his bag saying when you are ready to commit to marriage counseling, stop seeing this other woman, and start acting like a husband and not a selfish child then you are allowed back in.

[sonjam]

Deny, welcome to enotalone, I'm so sorry for what happened to you. Are you ok, did he come home (i'm wondering if something bad might have happened to him?)

 

The only way to save the marraige is to get some councilling, and if you decide to continue in the marraige you really need to put this behind you, look forward and carry on. There is nothing like an old cow scenario to ruin all the possibilities of ever trying again. But then you need to know and believe that it will not happen again.

 

Communication - that is the key!

 

I hope you are ok!