SamT Posted March 9, 2008 Share Posted March 9, 2008 You are welcome Sam - I'm beginning to believe in your willpower..... Hmm i have my moments of willpower lol.. i have been aching to make things right - to be friends... but i know as soon as i manage that ill just get rushed with all the feelings of wanting her back again. I know its just an itch and i have to give it time to heal I know i will be her friend one day...just not right now... I want to get to know ME. yeah thats right! YEAH BABY! hahaha p.s. hope everyone is doing well... going to bed now.. and read a book...its a new day tomorrow! -full of work and stress Link to comment
GetMeBack Posted March 9, 2008 Share Posted March 9, 2008 just went to get a burger from mcdonalds..and now im eating myself into an obilivion. feel so lonely.. Link to comment
GetMeBack Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 What the hell ill post again...Im feeling soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo down. I have bitten every nail I have left...and pigged out on burgers and fries and feel more crap then ever. Miss him a lot, its gone so long now that i feel to scared to contact him unless I hear something I dont want to hear. Day23 NC as of 6 minutes ago. I just feel like I want to go to bed and never wake up... Link to comment
LilBear Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Woohoo~ Day 50 10 more days left. Mutual friend came over to my house for the first time. Played games with my brother. And we (including my sis, her bf and my bro) went out for pizza. Lol. Barely thought of my ex then. Link to comment
Crows Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 day 24 * * * * * es. Feeling amazing! Link to comment
lexion Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 day 3 i feel lighter,relieved i've been talking to alot of people some are mutual friends, and they've been seeing strange behaviour about my ex, like flirting with guys when i'm not around, etc so, i guess i'm letting go, she's really not right for me Link to comment
gee Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Day 22 We were together 4yrs..she destroyed me 1 week before xmas last year, 2 weeks after we celebrated our 4yr anniversary. Hi all! She called last night around 11pm. I didn't answer. She called private 1st and then she called, to let me know it was her. i didn't pick up she left me a message. She said, I forgive you for your mistakes. A couple of weeks ago she said she wanted to completely forget about me and to leave her alone. I don't know her intentions...maybe she needed closure? See if I still love her? She wanted me to beg? She met someone and is happy and needs to get this off her chest? I DON"T KNOW!!! She is so complicated. She heard a message on my cell 2 years ago. I was talking to a girl and was trying to get her to go away. The more I did that the more she would call me. She left a message saying, I like you don't get upset, call me back please. My girl heard this and from that point on the trust we build got broken. I really tried to let her know that it was a mistake and I was wrong and that I would never do it again. I wasn't thinking at the time. She forgave me but she would always bring it up during arguments. I would get defensive and she would say that I am defending her. Not even close. That destroyed our relationship. If I didn't pick up the phone I was talking to a girl, if i stayed late working "I was messing around." Look I made my mistakes and I love the girl to death! 4yrs is alot of time invested and if I wanted to leave her I would've done it 2yrs ago. She treated me like an animal when she broke up with me. She thought I had "women" on the side. Not true at all!!!! I don't kknow her intentions for this now. All of a sudden she wants to forgive me. I do not know whtat to do!!! Shoul I call back? Should I let it be? HELP ME PLEASE!!! Honeyspur, what do you think? Link to comment
messenger05 Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 gee... thats a tough situation you're in. You are the only one who knows whether or not you can trust HER again. It sounds like she's treated you badly - is she just doing this now because she knows you've cut contact or because she is really over it? I really feel like only you can know for sure... its tough, take some time and really think about it deep down... let us know what you come up with Link to comment
honeyspur Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooo *rings the alarm* CODE RED CODE RED DO NOT CALL - gee, I'm fighting for you harder than you -in fact - I feel that way for many of you. I'll fight and fight and fight for you and never give up - but if one of YOU gives up - it's over - you see? 30 days people. Once 30 days is up - you can make all the calls you want - but I'm telling you, it's going to go better than if you contacted them now, you gotta trust me on this one. Look at LilBear on day 50 - Crows on day 24 - we've got a graduate in the house and she's really happy , it's JadeWhisper. Our A list girl Mock Chop gave us one of the best tools to get through - the email you never send. We got a new guy - Fox - who needs to know this can be done. Sam - SAM who struggles everyday is doing the work - he's keeping up on his reading and finding strength. Give yourselves power. Give yourselves a hope. Heck, give yourselves something to post about each day! I saw great success today - I know we gotta get that back to start our week off on the right note. Getmeback - I know if I was there with you, we'd be having such a time you'd barely be able to remember your ex's name. I wish I was so you could see there is a life outside of the ex. (I bite my nails too - I feel your pain ) This weekend's a done deal - we did it and it's usually the hardest time. It's pat-on-the-back time and a good night's sleep for all. I'm gonna need to get on here in the morning and see my favorite people because you guys keep me going too. You motivate me and make me happy. Try giving some advice tonight to other posters in the "breaking up" and "getting back together" forums - you guys are pros now and can help so many. When we give advice, we see the answers we need reflected back to us. Tomorrow is another day - another day to succeed!!! Link to comment
messenger05 Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 End of Day 9... tomorrow starts double digits! Made it through another weekend although it was tough... I'm still finding myself checking up on her through facebook even though i know i shouldn't! Its tough to stay away and just think/see her... ahhhhhh what to do. Tomorrow starts a new week where I want to push past this plateau i'm on. I know she's gonna call in 2 weeks - that troubles me and gives me a little hope. I'm scared to hear her say its not gonna work, but i really want to hear her voice and talk to her. I don't want her out of my life at all but it hurts to think we won't have what we had before. At worst case, I want her in my life as a friend as we were best friends but I know thats not possible right now. We had our "break" on good terms, but I'm beginning to see that it won't be solved in 2 weeks when she calls... then what do i do? Just getting things off my mind and into words... Hope everyone has a good week! Link to comment
lexion Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 day 3 i'm still a little sad about not being in a relationship but now, i see her as a completely different person how she treated me after she broke up with me how she played with my feelings, as if i am her toy how she act in front of other guys when i'm not around and, her new bf, who i think not the type of guy that girl dates she has a reaaaaalllly bad taste in guys from his photos, i don't think he's good looking type and judging by his action, who asks my ex right after we broke up he don't have many experience in relationship i don't think he can handle my ex and from his comment, it's like, he's trying to much to be funny you know, the type that still continues the joke, going on and on and on, even after it stopped being funny i really don't know what she sees in this guy maybe she's in it for the money that's our(me,my brother, and his gf) theory right now 75%money,25%desperate for attention, definitely not good looks,if you don't trust me, trust my brother's gf opinion but, if he made her happy, well, let's just say i can't wait to see their children's face hope they inherit their father's look a friend of mine has a theory that my gf can't handle ldr, so, when she's out if town she's out of town for 5 weeks, but she's been busy for over 5 months so we haven't seen each other for quite a long time, and she's very needy she wants to meet almost every day so, while she's away, she's building all of this need to see me, but she can't so she channel her need to this other guy, who happened to be there, any guy you know, like if you have this favourite restaurant, and you always eat there off there's lots of menu there then you're out of town or something, and you're hungry you have to eat, you'll eat anywhere, right?especially if there's only one in there but she didn't realize this now,i don't want her back because she has a low standard for men and sudenlly my fans are lining up "when God took something very valuable from us He's actually preparing something even better" Link to comment
gee Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 It sounds like she's treated you badly - is she just doing this now because she knows you've cut contact or because she is really over it? messenger...I have no idea. I was the chaser before and she knows that i would always run back. i ignored her message last monday and her call last night. I really don't know if she is seeing something different from me and she just doesn't understand it. I'm not playing games but I need to stop feeling like crap each time i talk to her and keeps on stabbing me in the heart. That is why I am not acknowledging her. I know I did what is best for me but when I heard her voice it got me sad and I wanted to call her back. I wish I had gone NC the day after she ripped my heart from me. WHy doesn't she believe me that I have changed. I am 100% better since she left me. I don't want her to think I hate her an she will be like forget him because I don't respond. Do you think I' m doing the right thing by not calling her and totally ignoring her? Thanks. Link to comment
gee Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 "when God took something very valuable from us He's actually preparing something even better" YES!!!!!!!!! Link to comment
messenger05 Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 i think you're doing the right thing... if it hurts when you talk to her, you have to take care of yourself first. Believe in your decision and start trying to think of how you can be happy again! The sooner you believe it, the sooner you start the healing Link to comment
lexion Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 30 days people. Once 30 days is up - you can make all the calls you want - but I'm telling you, it's going to go better than if you contacted them now, you gotta trust me on this one. whay do you mean by "Once 30 days is up - you can make all the calls you want"? Link to comment
bronte Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 This was Day #1 for me--I'm not aiming to get back together with but to finish getting over the ex in question, but I hope it's okay to post here anyway. Things are slightly complicated by the fact that he really wants us to be friends and hasn't behaved quite poorly enough for me to cut him off permanently, so he's agreed not to contact me for as long as I need to heal but expects us to resume our friendship eventually. I figure the only way this will not just lead to me getting hurt again is if I'm REALLY strict about the NC thing during this time where I'm working through the last of my feelings and don't even consider contacting him till I'm really in a different place than I am now, so I thought I'd take the challenge and post here for support. The tough day for me will be Tuesday, my birthday...He had promised to make my birthday special this year, and even though we broke up around Thanksgiving, I know he was still planning to make a fuss--and now I won't even get an e-mail from him. Because I told him not to contact me! It all feels so strange and wrong...but I know that this is what's best for me in the long run. Link to comment
demonic-cookie Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Day 1: I'm just starting this after a long, arduous, and angsty relationship/friendship with my first love. We only dated for six months, but we were friends before that, and we both really thought that we'd found something worth fighting for. And fight we did. We both tried breaking up several times, but after a back and forth tug of war on his part as to whether or not he wanted me, he left me. After a while, I started getting over it, and stopped contact with him. And that's when the little jerk started trying to tell me how close we were and how he wasn't going to give up on us being friends and whatnot. We started hooking up. He always initiated it, but I, Ms. Stupid, never said no. We got really really close over a couple of months, and so when he started seeing us falling back into old patterns and told me he didn't want to be intimate anymore, I realized I was being a fool and cut off contact. Annnnd he started wooing me again. He'd tell me he knew he'd end up with me, and things like that. It ended with us, three weeks ago, telling each other we loved each other, and deciding to work towards maybe getting back together some day when we got over our issues. And then last week he tells me he likes someone else, and that he's going to date her. This time, I really want the no contact to stick, because why dedicate time and energy over someone who has only hurt me before? I'll admit, I want him to come back, but if he ever does, I will have to seriously think about it, and make sure he at least sees a psychiatrist about his many issues. The worst is that when he told me about her, he kept on saying things like, "I don't like her like I like you," and "She's not as pretty or smart or funny as you," that he just "needs something different and easy" and many other things I didn't want to hear. This is better for the both of us, and maybe he'll see the "prettier" "smarter" girl he's supposedly missing out on. Link to comment
bostoneric Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 over 3 months since we broke up and every night i get anxiety about sleeping. I havent had a decent nights sleep since we broke up. I maybe get 4hrs a night, and for me that is half of what I NEED! its the combo of being alone now and me really missing having her next to me @ night with my hand on her side while we sleep. Link to comment
lexion Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 it's not easy to let her go she's been a part of me for over 5 years Link to comment
SamT Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Guys, everyone is doing well.. lexion i think you are beginning to see the true light.. i really like that quote you posted! I feel the same about her having been in my life for so long..but like you said..youll now be able to truly appreciate the right person, when she comes along! Its good that youve found some great support from your brother/and his gf etc. Theyll help you get through this! Its great doing this guys, it seems that everyone is in the same situation one way or another... Its like a club that we have going on.. With Honeyspur as the leader haha Bronte and Demonic Cookie. Welcome! if you need any help guys, just ask.. im on this thread pretty much all day!(or night for you, lol) There is really great support on this site, it amazes me sometimes. Im not sure what id have done if i hadnt thought hm... there must be something on the internet! Messenger - it must hurt yeah, maybe she is having second thought, but dont get sucked in unless she acctually says she wants to work things out etc. and you must ask yourself wether you truly want that relationship back, with all the mistrust. Im also finding myself on her facebook now and again, i dont obsess over it though, i just check and keep it under 30secs lol. I found out that she couldnt sleep yday, which im kinda glad about..because she must know that id usually be there keeping her warm with the thunderstorm that happened yday! I hope everyone looked at the thread majord made about the break-up and reconciliation guide. You will find answers there..i.e. what to do when he/she contacts you..everything! even links to other great threads by superdave_71 Honeyspur is also right, fight the urge to contact them back, i know only too well that they will just hurt you even more! Even hearing her saying she loves me - makes me sad! Honey, i love the way you sum up the day with everyones progress! its great..keeps me going! Bostoneric - i find it hard to sleep too, i seem to go over everything thats happened in my head, and then i try and rid the thoughts in my head, and then i try and clear my head. its pretty tough lol, especially when the morning comes and im still feeling tired. Maybe you should try some different techniques? Try reading before? GetMeBack - i feel like a McDonalds now! curse you lol... they never make me feel that good lol.. If you ever wanna chat.. im here we really arent alone on here.. I think everyone feels so low right now...but if you think about it.. things CAN ONLY GET BETTER! You cant get any lower, so be optimistic about the things to come..that will push you higher and higher! this is some help i found on here - "These will be challenging times that will test you emotionally and force you to revaluate what you value in a healthy relationship. Seek those values and don't settle. A diamond is only created when it is under unbearable heat." And lastly id like to say... Our doors are open now, we are free. You are blocking the doorway with your ex. Clear that space your filling with your ex.When you manage this.. the universe will rush in and fill you with more love than ever before! Thanks Guys! All my Best - Sam Link to comment
messenger05 Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Sam - nice post... it really is a great thing to be able to talk to people on here I just wanted to reiterate the appreciation that I have for people on this board... it really does help me and everyone else get through the day. For those just joining us, let us know how you're doing - we're all getting through this together! Link to comment
lexion Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 >samT yeah, i've been talking to too much(or many?i forgot, lol) people about my break up, i think it helps if you talk to a lot of people about your problem some of them are "bad boys" and they mention about my ex's new bf being a "boyfriend destroyer", i am not really sure about this but i'm glad if that's the case, i mean, in a way, he helped me to see her true color Link to comment
SamT Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Bad Boys Bad Boys, watcha gonna do! watcha gona do when they come for you!lol yeah they could be right man, i feel the same now and again,.... at least youve found out what shes like now, rather than another 3/5 years down the line? Hope my post was helpul! Sam. Link to comment
lexion Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Bad Boys Bad Boys, watcha gonna do! watcha gona do when they come for you!lol yeah they could be right man, i feel the same now and again,.... at least youve found out what shes like now, rather than another 3/5 years down the line? Hope my post was helpul! Sam. exactly, this is what everybody keep saying to me and i thank God for that imagine if we were married Link to comment
SamT Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Haha yeah, it could be worse eh Link to comment
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