I got a phone number!!!

[New_Horizons]

Wow! I finally spoke to a girl and she offered her phone number to me! This is the first time in my life this has happened. What do I do now?

[Newo Ikkin]

My suggestion: wait a few days, then give her a chat - see how its going.

[Moon Goddess]

If she gave you her number she's probably expecting you to call her. So just give her a call, ask her how she is and chat for a while, depending on how that goes you'll see what happens later on. Good Luck

[Newo Ikkin]

Oh, and good luck!

[Beec]

Call her and talk to her for a few minutes, then ask her to do something that might be a date, and then might not be: "How about we go to Starbucks after work/class/anything and meet to talk and see if we can have some interesting conversation."

 

If she says no and cannot at that time, ask her when she can.

 

In the interim, read up on body langauge, so you know what hers is telling you when you are with her.

[itsallgrand]

First: Strut. Hey, woo hoo!

 

then take Beec's advice

[Batya33]

I would not say "and see if we can have some interesting conversation." If you want to see her this weekend I would call today, talk for just a few minutes and then say "would you like to go to dinner with me Saturday night?" Keep it very simple and don't put into her head that there is even a chance that the conversation would be other than interesting.

[Beec]

I would not say "and see if we can have some interesting conversation." If you want to see her this weekend I would call today, talk for just a few minutes and then say "would you like to go to dinner with me Saturday night?" Keep it very simple and don't put into her head that there is even a chance that the conversation would be other than interesting.

 

Batya33, I mean no offense, but you sound like a woman who has ideas about wht a guy is supposed to do, and from what I've read before of your posts, you have definite ideas and are a woman. I, on the other hand, am a guy who has practiced meeting women and getting them to go otuw ith me, although I am now taken.

 

If a woman is dying to say yes to you, then asking her to dinner is fine. If you don't know, the should not make it a date date. It seems to me that the OP is too inexperienced to know how to tell the difference. Asking her to dinner would enable him to figure out if she wanted to date or not, but if she was tenative, it could sink him. If she had expectations that he was supposed to take her to dinner, then her expectations begin to indicate she is high maintenance, and watch out for women like that.

[GalaxyC]

I would never go on a date with a guy who said "and see if we can have some interesting conversation".

 

But that's just me.

[Batya33]

I have dated over a hundred men and have several close male friends and many male friends/acquaintances so I beg to differ. I agree it's fine if he wants to take the middle ground but to imply that he wants to see "if they have interesting conversation" is too much pressure. My current boyfriend and I went on three "non-dates" because due to his circumstances (in the middle of breaking up with someone) and the fact that we had dated before (albeit, over a decade ago) we were more comfortable with that situation.

 

When it comes to actual dating, yes I have certain ideas about the guy's role - for the first few dates, he calls me, he suggests a plan in advance. That's about it. If the OP is not sure about whether she is interested in dating him I would suggest he just ask and see but sure, a non-date is fine. (I prefer a walk or a museum to starbucks because sitting accross a table can be intimidating or high pressure for some0.

[Beec]

I think with regard to the interesting conversation comment one needs to understand how it is said, not jsut so the words. It must be said slightly tongue in cheek and the comment should infer that she is going to get some interesting conversation because she is talking to him, not vice versa. Saying it should be a reflection of him having confidence, not anything else.

 

of course, if you cannot have confidence or cannot fake it, don't say it.

[quietgrl]

Wow! I finally spoke to a girl and she offered her phone number to me! This is the first time in my life this has happened. What do I do now?

 

 

 

Oh New Horizon,I'm so happy for you(clapping my hands).what do you do next call her.

[Beec]

Get right back there, NOW, and tell her you wanted to call her but you lsot the number. Explain that the Gods must have beena gaisnt you. Do it a bit tongue in cheek, but not enough to seem insincere.

[Beec]

I would love to. But, as soon as I walk in the door I'll feel nervous, a reaction to flee will come on suddenly, and I will get an awkward feeling all over - most prominently in my knees which will feel like rubber. If I can deal with this long enough to to approach her, the words coming out of my mouth will likely be jumbled and in an overly serious tone. I'll come off as just plain weird(which I am, but I'd like for her to find that out after our first date )and I know she won't find me worth her time.

 

I know what I should do, and I know what I can can. And, unfortunetly, in this situation I can't do what I should do.

 

Do you know how to ride a bicycle? How did you learn? You go on one, and you probably fell over, a number of times, then youo learned to pedal, and you fell over some more, then soon, you were riding a bike.

 

Do you know how to ice skate? If you learned to ice skate, you did it the same way. You tried and fell and tried and fell and tried, and sooner or later you learned.

 

And if you are a risky bike rider or ice skater, if you push your skills, you still fall. The more you push and harder you push, the more you fall.

 

If you want to learn to meet women and get dates, then you need to learn just as you learned to ride a bike or skate. Now, go risk falling.

 

However, if you want to have less risk, script the first few things you would say. And then do it.