Ndali, my heart, is gone

[raelenemmac.com]

I recently lost my dear fur child to a drowning. i was not looking, i was not listening, i was eating, while adjacent to us, only 15 feet away, she must have slipped into my aunts pool during thanksgiving dinner. i should have been more careful. i was watching the older of my two dogs. french bulldogs cannot swim, i know that, yet i forgot to be worried, and while eating a turkey carcass (which i cannot eat again), she died, and i wasnt even there to help her. we found her minutes later, at bottom of pool. cpr, resuscitatation, drive to vet. nothing brought her back. i wish she would come to me in a dream, i wish i could speak to her. how can i say goodbye to her? do ii have to? will she come back to me somehow, i call her everyday. it's been 37 days. i still feel so forlorn. if it werent for my living dear dog and my husband, i would have chosen to drown too. i miss her so...

[southerngirl]

I am so sorry for your loss. Maybe the following will help you a little. I know, it doesnt help to hear it, but you will feel better in time.

 

Rainbow Bridge

 

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

 

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.

There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.

There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

 

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.

The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

 

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

 

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

 

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

 

Author unknown...

[raelenemmac.com]

thank you for the story. i dont know if i believe it, but it feels better. i miss her so, this feeling does not end.

[jengh]

aww, i am so sorry. Losing a pet is one of the hardest things to overcome. Please know, though, that it wasn't your fault.

[coollady1957]

I am just today finding this post about the loss of your pet. I am so very sorry to hear of what happened. I have lost pets in the past, so I can feel the pain not having your pet around anymore. I hope you are doing better with coming to terms with this now. Take care.

[raelenemmac.com]

it is now nearly 8 months (in 3 days to the day) since Ndali passed. i miss her the same. i miss her yowls, her dancing, her showdog walk, her smell, her muscular yet tiny body, her pooping while walking (she never squatted), and most of all, her exuberance. where will i find that all again. i have still not been able to accept it. i keep hoping to see her again, to have her speak to me. to see her out my window... if not see her soul in another dog, then in a bird, a lizard, anything. she was my angel in a fur dog body. link removed

[raelenemmac.com]

most of all, the drowning keeps repeating in my mind. i dont imagine ever getting over it.