pain rushing through my body........

[bigthings46]

I just made a horrible mistake. This girl I was seeing cut me off back in August because she thought she was just a booty call and that I could't commit to her. I tried to get in touch with her for a few weeks when I finally got to meet back up with her and laid everything on the line how I wanted her in my life and everything. Well she told me I was too late and she was seeing somebody else blah blah blah, this is 3 weeks after she cut me off. Well she tells me she needs time, sends me a text the next week asking "so we really can't be friends?" I say no go into no contact for 3 weeks. Call her, meet up, spend the night with her, make plans, she blows me off, doesn't return my calls all week. That saturday she drives by my house at 930 stalking me it seems then calls after not returning my calls all week. I call her back but it goes right to voice mail and I leave a message saying that I am trying to be real with her but she wont acknowladge me so to call me when shes done playing games.

 

Well after an email from her saying that shes sorry that I hate her, leaving me a text 3 weeks later @ 1am and sending me another email saying "so your never going to talk to me again" I break 37 days of NC and email her saying I have been busy and that I hoped she was doing well and had a nice xmas and new years. Well today after 10 days since exchanging emails I went onto her myspace and saw a picture of her and her new man all happy and stuff. I instantly broke down and I am going through hell right now. I was hoping to call her after the new years and tell her how I felt one more time and that I never wanted her to leave and that I really enjoyed her in my life but I guess thats just a thought of the past.

 

My hand is covered in blood, I just smashed the out of my walls. I am a freaking mess right now. I am fighting myself not to call her and start some crap. I need to accept that I wasn't good enough for her and thats why she broke up with me, and that she doesnt want me back in her life but after playing all these games with me she goes and puts this up like she knew I was going to be looking. I really want to call her right now but whats the point. I really need some help. Freaking Happy New Years to me.

[agualibre777]

this whole situation is really confusing. why was she passing by your house? did you sleep with her after 3 weeks of no contact and then she didn't write you back?

it really sounds like you have to suck it up and not contact her anymore. do some meditation or breathing exercises. this doesn't sound healthy at all that you smashed your walls over her. all the no contact should have reduced your feelings and brought you some calls. it sounds like she is messing with you and you want her too much.

[hosswhispra]

My hand is covered in blood, I just smashed the shiiiit out of my walls. I am a freaking mess right now. I am fighting myself not to call her and start some crap. I need to accept that I wasn't good enough for her and thats why she broke up with me, and that she doesnt want me back in her life but after playing all these games with me she goes and puts this up like she knew I was going to be looking. I really want to call her right now but whats the point. I really need some help. Freaking Happy New Years to me.

 

Is your tetanus shot up to date (within 10 years)? Because if it isn't, I would recommend getting one.

[bigthings46]

I have no clue why she was passing by my house. I called her and left her a message and never got a response, just those stupid messages and text messages, which everyone told me not to respond to. I never slept with her the night I spent over there cuz I figured if she thought all I wanted was sex that if I didn't try to sleep with her it would make her think. Now I think that NC pushed her far away and I should have kept fighting. Im a mess. I was going to go out with a bunch of friends but I went over a friends house sat there for a half hour and felt miserable and told them I couldn't go out and came back home. I have learned so many lessons and I want to tell her how much I miss her.