SOME MAJOR INSIGHT PLEASE ::: The long hard road to Emancipationland

[Baby Carrot]

So my current situation is as it follows:

• I was raised sheltered and doing nothing but going to school to get decent grades cuz apparently that was the meaning of life. And I totally ate it.

• I basically finished with the whole school scam, and I´m working with a really lousy payment, but hey, is better then nothing.

• Even with this job, I can´t possibly support myself. I still depend on the almighty father to live. And I can´t take it anymore. I do not have huge issues with him, but I´m sick and tired of being under his command and having to keep him reasonably "satisfied" just because he´s the guy with the money. And you do not bite the hand that feeds do you.

[*]So my great plan is to save some money and going to work abroad (US) as an Au Pair. For 2 years. This way, I´ll get out completely out of this situation. here´s the deal, my great escape only lasts for 2 years max. After that, I gotta get back to my country, and basically start from scratch, cuz the VISA is over.

 

And that´s exactly what I do not want. I need to find a way to stay there. US, Canada, UK, anything that is 1st world.

 

So far, my options are:

 

A) Keep using my passport to travel around the world, living from lousy little jobs, until I have no more permission to stay anywhere.

 

B) Go hubby-hunting, get a green card and live unhappily ever after (ACTUALLY THAT´S NOT AN OPTION FOR ME UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE)

 

C) ???????

 

What else can you do to have a residence in a foreign 1st World country? Apparently they only want you to be a tourist for a couple of months and then out you creep, go back to your hole.

 

I´m hoping I figure it out once I´m there, so I don´t have to get back to Latin America. But I honestly have no idea. ](*,) All I know is that I can´t get back here under the wing of the father cuz my acid trip came to an end.

 

Some insight, suggestions, ideas greatly GREATLY appreciated.

 

It´d also help if you shared your story on how did you finally emancipate (get your own place, start paying your own bills, stop depending on the parents)

[Reluctant Rebuilder]

Depending on your education and work experience, it is possible to get a migrant work visa. Myself I've been looking to leave this frigid berg and head off to Australia, but so far it's still just a pipe dream.

[Baby Carrot]

Myself I've been looking to leave this frigid berg and head off to Australia

 

 

Frigid berg? Man, I´d pay to live in that frigid berg. Try and live in Latin America, and you will see what you have in your berg. You are living in my pipe dream and hating it? Awesome.

[Reluctant Rebuilder]

You are living in my pipe dream and hating it? Awesome.

I'm not really knocking Canada. I just want to go somewhere warm for a change, and start fresh.

[Baby Carrot]

You´re calling my pipe dream frigid!!! Don´t you dare!!!

 

LOL

 

No seriously, is just that I´m jealous and I love cold.

[Reluctant Rebuilder]

Everyone says they love the cold until they experience years and years of four month long winters with temperatures dropping to minus thirty degrees, with a wind chill that makes it feel like minus forty five, and the sand on the streets to keep the cars from slamming in to each other gets caught in your shoes so you end up tracking that junk in and you can't keep your apartment clean no matter how many times you sweep, and the snow banks so high you can't see around them to safely make turns into intersections and the mornings where the room is so damn cold, but the bed is so warm you can never make it to work on time because its pure torture getting up in the morning plus you're always afraid of running accross the street to catch the bus because you don't want to slip and bust your on the frozen ground and have all the teenagers at the bus stop on their way to school laugh at you.

 

* sigh * I guess it's not all that bad. Aside from that, the cold is great ;-)

 

BTW, I've always admired your signature.

[denisemarie]

It´d also help if you shared your story on how did you finally emancipate (get your own place, start paying your own bills, stop depending on the parents)

I never really had the parents to depend upon. I guess I got by on the grace of God cause after living from couch to car as a teen I'm still here. I got married at 21 and that stabilized my life, but I wouldn't suggest it, after seven years we got divorced. What about school? Going to college has opened up so many doors for me. I know here we have lots of opportunities at the local colleges to study abroad. I received an offer to go to Africa and study just last year, or course I have kids so I declined, and my friend went to Italy to teach English, isn't their something like that there? College really could open up some doors for you, if your parents are willing to help you out financially.

[Baby Carrot]

DeniseMarie:

 

Wow, you are a fighter. Is awesome. This comes from a sheltered little girl who hates her parents for doing this to her. Probably the intentions were great but DUH it cripples you!

 

College really could open up some doors for you, if your parents are willing to help you out financially.

I already finished college. I´ll have my degree on a few months. And I´m going to work as an Au Pair now, with my own money. I´m done with their finantial support, cuz the guy that pays is the guy in charge. This is my turn to be the guy in charge already

[denisemarie]

I just want to go somewhere warm for a change, and start fresh

I hear ya, I froze my but off for 20 years in Seattle, then I came to San Diego and I'm never leaving!

[denisemarie]

This is my turn to be the guy in charge already

I agree. Independance is the most important thing I think any person can achieve. What type of degree do you have?

[Baby Carrot]

Is that it?

 

Try and experience years and years of poverty around, with minimum wages droping to 5 USD a day, with taxes that make it feel like minus 5 USD, and better forget about even owning an apartment cuz you can barely make it to pay for food, and all the kids jumping on the cars to clean your windshield and all the street dogs and their corpses on the pavement that is not easy to safely make turns into intersections without running over them, and you´re always affraid of walking down the street cuz you don´t wanna get busted by some punks, and is pure torture getting up in the morning cuz you know you´re gonna spend all day at work to be paid 17 USD and lose 25 USD if you stay in your bed.

 

I mean, I wish weather was the biggest pain in the butt around here. But that´s just me.

 

About the signature, the great and wise Tyler Durden said it and I couldn´t agree more.

[Reluctant Rebuilder]

Is that it?

 

Try and experience years and years of poverty around, with minimum wages droping to 5 USD a day, with taxes that make it feel like minus 5 USD, and better forget about even owning an apartment cuz you can barely make it to pay for food, and all the kids jumping on the cars to clean your windshield and all the street dogs and their corpses on the pavement that is not easy to safely make turns into intersections without running over them, and you´re always affraid of walking down the street cuz you don´t wanna get busted by some punks, and is pure torture getting up in the morning cuz you know you´re gonna spend all day at work to be paid 17 USD and lose 25 USD if you stay in your bed.

 

Wow.

 

I do believe I have been "served".

[Baby Carrot]

Hey Denise Marie, you are the girl with the very blue eyes, I remember you from the picture thread!

 

I´m a graphic designer. I also have studies in advertising, photography and I guess being bilingual always helps...

 

But how did you do it? I´m not the marrying type, that´s why I mentioned trapping a hubby to get a green card is not an option, that would be replacing my father with another guy, yikes!!!

 

I feel like if my parents dumped me (well is not only a feeling, is a fact!!!), I´d die on the streets, even with the job I have! I hate hate hate it.

[doyathink]

Wow.

 

I do believe I have been "served".

 

LOL...yea, I guess you have.

I have to agree with you tho, I hate the miserable cold, frigid ...blistery arctic weather we have too. I need Cali or Florida..or some island in the Caribbean.

[MacGyverRI]

No seriously, is just that I´m jealous and I love cold.

 

That will change when you have to shovel the pretty snow which so far has been non existent!

 

The New England states (everything east of New York) are a pretty area to settle in and we do get cold....

[GalaxyC]

With your degree you should be able to wangle a job anywhere. Contact all the agencies in your places of choice, briefly explain what you want....a job, a new life somewhere, independence, your qualifications/experience....and see what you get back. If you sell yourself enough someone, somewhere should be able to help.

[SarahRose]

I think it would be good to contact a migration agent about this. Do you think you would qualify for this type of visa? the au pair visa for canada?

 

link removed

[turqoise]

I don`t know how easy for someone with a qualification like yours to get a job over the internet, but if that proves difficult, it is always easier to find a job once you`re physically there in the country. Especially if you`re planning on doing the au pair thing for 2 years first, if you`re determined, then I think that`ll set you up for a good chance of finding further employment and obtain a work visa. (Check work visa conditions etc on Canadian embassy sites). Of course, there are always lots of websites to jobhunt etc, and I`d go throughthe regular hoops too. But to increase your chances, and have more support, I think the best thing you can do for yourself is to go there and meet as many people as you can.

 

While being an au pair in Canada, if you join circles where you can employ your qualifications (eg offering to help a GD company with your Spanish skills, giving GD, Spanish and photography classes at local night schools, volunteering teaching Spanish at local schools, offering tuition at Uni etc) to help people, even as a volunteer, can lead to meeting many people. The more people you meet and good relationships you build, the more likely it is that you will find opportunities to help you find further employment or whatever.

 

That is how it worked with me in Germany, too. I went as an english teaching assistant through the embassy (there are several European and ASian countries that I know of that offer this annually - just apply through embassy websites) only knowing a few words of German, and knowing absolutely noone there, but made friends with people through teaching, tutoring and attending courses, who all helped me learn the ropes. I learned enough that I found a position through the internet and a language school offered me a long-term position 9 months later (though I didn`t end up doing it).

 

Another friend of mine who`s a chef, went to France not speaking a word of French or English. He met some people through the language school he enrolled in first- one of them introduced him to a restaurant that was looking for a Jpaanese chef, and another had an apartment that they were looking to lend out! He`s now got a 10 year contract there.

 

hope that`s given you some encouragement! You can do it

[rosie76]

What's your degree in and how did you do in school? Grad school's a fantastic way to stay in a country that's not your own, and if you're in the sciences you'll get support from the school. Also, there are some specialist jobs that will get you a work permit when you land the job - imagining you're probably biligual as you're clearly fluent in English and are Latin American - this plus a college degree has got to be a bonus in a lot of job sectors - why not get some applications flowing while you're aupair-ing? I've got visa issues myself, only to stay out of the US and in the UK, so will be fighting the 'Give me a job, and, oh yes, give me a visa, too' fight this year. Good news today that I've been shortlisted for an interview - so at least some employers are willing to do the paperwork.

 

Good luck.

[rosie76]

And is that signature from The Commitments? Sure it's something British or Irish that I should know well...

[SquareWheel]

Well BC, have you looked into applying for an H1-B visa to work here? You say you just finished college, and I don't know what you studied, but there's a great demand here for skilled workers.

 

It's not true about 1st world countries only wanting tourists passsing through. Many companies here hire immigrant workers and/or bring them in with H1-B visas because they say they can't find enough skilled workers. There's a pretty strong demenad here for immigrant labor, and not just for low-skilled work.

 

The au-pair thing is fine, my Danish penpal came here and stayed for six months working as an au pair in Atlanta before moving to Australia, and she seemed to like it. But it seems like awfully elementary work for someone of your education and intelligence.

 

And while it'd get you into the 1st world for a couple of years, it wouldn't contribute anything to your career in your chosen field, or help you establish yourself here permanently. In addition, I'd suggest trying to secure employment in your field as soon as is reasonably possible after you get your degree. Employers might be a bit skittish about hiring someone whose last involvement in her field was two years past; those skills can be forgotten over time.

 

You could consider submitting resumes to some American companies and trying to get hired from right there in Mexico. I've heard that many employers will hire workers from outside the US and arrange their work visas for them. If you look around, you might even find an American company soliciting workers from there; I would imagine they'd advertise on/around college campuses or on college websites.

 

What career field did you study for? What subject is your degree in?

[Baby Carrot]

This is truly important for me right now...

 

GALAXY

Thanks! I know chances increase the more I insist and harass their butts LOL

 

SARAH ROSE

Thanks a lot for the link! You know, the only agencies I could find for the Au Pair thing, were in US. But I´d loooooove to apply for Canada as well!!!

 

TURQUOISE

Those are great ideas! I´m aware a huge part of getting a job are the contacts you can make. If you´re an island, better prepare to die alone and poor... yikes! You really gave me a lot of encouragement and really helpful insight.

 

ROSIE 76

I have a degree in Graphic Design. I think Grad schools are a great option, but I´m affraid that would be more like continue being a student and thereforeeee paying obscene amounts of money, which I really don´t have. What I really need is to A) Get the hell outta here and B) Work for living and supporting myself. Best of luck with your fight

 

*What signature, my signature? Is from the movie "The Fight Club" if that´s what you´re referring to...

[Baby Carrot]

have you looked into applying for an H1-B visa to work here?

Mmmm nope, since they would ask me where the hell am I going to work and I haven´t even started moving my butt to see if there are any jobs to get there... I´ve just been whining about the lack of employment here and whining more about the only crappy job I was able to find

 

There's a pretty strong demenad here for immigrant labor, and not just for low-skilled work.

Wow this sure gives me hope.

 

But it seems like awfully elementary work

Geez! You totally saw thru me. The truth is, taking care of kids and doing light chores are not exactly activities that I see myself doing for the rest of my life for living.

 

And while it'd get you into the 1st world for a couple of years, it wouldn't contribute anything to your career in your chosen field, or help you establish yourself here permanently.

I totally know that. Once the VISA is over... I feel like my life is gonna be over as well. But I´m just desperate! I can´t keep living under the wing of Mr. Provider, I´m just sick of it. This is truly an easy, cheap and fast escape, and it does seem great... for now. That´s why I´m so concerned about what am I gonna do once it´s over.

 

I'd suggest trying to secure employment in your field as soon as is reasonably possible after you get your degree. Employers might be a bit skittish about hiring someone whose last involvement in her field was two years past; those skills can be forgotten over time.

I already have a job in something that "has to do" with my field, and that will look pretty decent on my resume, but then again, I don´t see myself doing this for years and years. And I´ve basically lost hope about fiinding a job in my field (Graphic Design). There are either crappy little jobs that won´t take you anywhere, or big jobs that require years and years of experience... I know, I gotta be way more creative then that.

 

You could consider submitting resumes to some American companies and trying to get hired from right there in Mexico.

 

Oh yeah... that´d be my maximum "pipe dream" EVER. I guess that´d take much more time and patience... which is not good since I´m desperate already to get the hell outta here. Also, I wonder if the employers might give some kind of accommodation facilities, cuz I´m doing this only with my savings and I´m affraid I would have to save for years and years for being able to rent something there for a start. (That´s why the Au Pair thing seems so convenient, food and accommodation come with the job... at an affordable price for me...)

 

What career field did you study for? What subject is your degree in?

Graphic design, with some studies on advertising, and knowledge in photography. Plus I speak both English and Spanish. Being bilingual MUST help for something... I´m still trying to find a way on how to turn that skill into money!

[Juliana]

You really need to be careful about trying to get into a country and applying from there; at least in Canada, that can be a huge problem, and I understand that people are asked to leave, apply from outside the country, and wait to be approved before coming in.

 

Why not just check with Immigration Canada, find out what the rules are, and find out how to come here, without jumping ship first? Maybe you won't need to work as an Au Pair at all; maybe you can actually work here as a graphic designer. Just don't be picky about where you're going; everybody tries to go to the bigger cities -- check out some of the lesser knowns, like Moncton, Halifax and the like.

[Baby Carrot]

Why not just check with Immigration Canada, find out what the rules are, and find out how to come here, without jumping ship first?

 

Uh, yeah. I never said I was gonna get there and see what I could find.

 

Unless I have the support of an institution or an enterprise, I´m not going anywhere.