Can't tell if she's lost interest

[insofar]

I met this girl through OkCupid, she initially messaged me saying she liked my profile, got to talking / webcam over MSN, eventually went out for dinner and a movie. I thought it went pretty well, we had some great conversation and it wasn't really awkward at any point. The thing is, though, that since the date I've had very little conversation with her. She's been online on MSN but didn't reply when I sent messages, which she later said was because she just left it on but wasn't there, which is fair enough. She's also apparently been sick recently. Still, she hasn't messaged me once without me messaging her first, and when I called her two days after the date she had to leave so I could only talk for about five minutes.

 

She said she wasn't ignoring me when I asked her about the MSN thing earlier, but I still get the feeling that she's lost interest since we met. It's been a little more than a week since we went out. I'm thinking I should just back off and see if she does message me, but I appreciate any input. Also been considering leaving a message on her answering machine with my number if she wants to call me, then backing off. Tell me what you think.

[luciand]

Backing off sounds like the best way to go. If you kept going it would've deemed you " clingy ".

 

To some degree idk if you want to leave your # on her machine because that already seems to be clingy. Just wait for her and see what happens... if you feel the need randomly leave her a message saying that you hope she gets better. Don't overdo anything.

[Luke Skywalker]

I'm also 'developing' my own way of dealing this online, and all I can advice you is the following: Think of the next date and time that you would like to see her, and propose a couple of dates. Leave a text or voice message on her cell phone proposing those dates and times and wait for her to get back to you. Wait about a few days for her to return your call (assuming it will be just before your supposed 'date') and leave it at that. Don't just try to talk to her for the sake of talking, etc... just set up dates and times. Then back off if she's not returning your call and put her on the backburner and then follow up later a week after your proposed date if you want to.

 

The only thing you should be worried about is simply keeping the dating rapport and setting up another date, if she doesn't follow through then you've done your part. Do your part, and dont worry if she's interested or not. Stay away from the internet and just go by cell phone. Propose the date within a few weeks to a month away into the future to give it some space.

[saint_saul]

You have the right idea -- back off for a little while. It's hard to tell what might be going on with her, so put the ball in her court by seeing if she messages you any time soon. I wouldn't leave your # on her machine -- might come off as way too clingy/interested. Maybe next time she does get a hold of you, try being slightly unavailable (but still geniune).

[DN]

I agree with Luke about asking her out again. Just say that you enjoyed the first date and would like to see her again. If she is interested she will say yeas or propose an alternate date. If she is not interested she will decline. Either way you will get the information you need.

[annie24]

yes, I agree, asking her out, one more time with a plan, that will let you know how she feels. ie, have a specific date(s) in mind, and a plan and see what happens.

 

good luck

[insofar]

Thanks guys. I think I'll wait a few days (at least after Christmas) and then call (if she hasn't gotten back to me) with that plan. We'll see what happens.