Day 11

[tommyt]

Well i am officialy as you would probably all say doing well in NC. its currently day 11 for me and its really hard.. still think about her every day, she still creaps into my thoughts no matter how busy i keep myself. Im workin all the hours i can get at work not really takin time off odd day only. stoppin myself from drinkin so i dont get that urge to just get in touch for no reason. its been over a month since our break up and im still feelin just as bad as day 1 inside. Well at times... the coment about me being Bi polar switching mind sets i got off of other posters here its still true.

 

the 15th was a bad day for me. one month since the break up. was on a downer all day at work. which is still my sanctuary stops me from thinkin to much while we are at peak busy periods anyways. its so hard. I did the thing of removin her from my MSN deleting her and still regret it daily wish i hadnt done it and fight the urge to place her back onto it just to try and talk things over with her or even just ask her how she is doing. when im not at work i spend my time on my computer playin Eve online because it helps me stay destracted. its wokrin a bit but not totaly.

 

Im fighting every thing inside me right now every single emotion battling for things i just dont understand any more. totaly confused directionless one thousand ideas come through my head daily the biggest one is to just more away from here i know i could find work with a franchise in a differant area of the country and that idea is so appealing to me the only thing is uprooting myself would take more drive than i think i truly have in all honesty. i have the option to move abroad with help of friends if i can find enough funds to get to the states. or other friends sayin they would help me find a place in another part of the country and the idea is VERY appealing just to escape this area where i have spent the last 22 years of my life. but then i dont know if that truly would be the right thing to do at all.. to just up sticks and move away leavin everythign and any chance me n steph might have of getting back together which each day looks more and more doubtfull since she since the break up hasnt really made much of an effort to get into touch with me at all.. which i think is the biggest sign that its totaly over which no matter how much i think just cant seem to accept it.

[robowarrior]

You should never have gone into a relationship expecting things to work out just because it concerned 'your case' reality is that a girl can pack her bags and leave any day. If you drive with your car into a dead end road, what do you do? You turn your car around and head back to the highway. Same counts for dead end relationships. You could complain till the end of time to no avail that it is a dead end road, its dead you have to turn around or keep stuck in that place, which is just utterly useless.

 

Same counts for your idea of moving out of the area, don't you know that the problems you have will just move together with you to that new area? This because the problem is stuck in your head, and is not attached to the the area you are in. It would be wise to realise that.

 

Anyway the only solution for a lost relationship is a new relationship. if i where you id focus my arrows on another person to meet. That when you are ready for a new relationship that is.