Dun no what to think! HELP!

[EatonWhipple]

ok PLZ! guys help me out!

 

I am seeing this girl now, she's got neclaces and outfits from he EX!

(SHE SAIS SHE LIKE TO WEAR THEM TO REMEMBER HIM)

It buggs me, but i aint gonna tell her wat 2 do....

 

also she wuz over at my house the other day, and i no it was messed up, but i saw her put in her passwoed and it was her exs name! she says she dont really think of huim much, cause she's wit me, but im thinkin BS!!!!!!

 

srry if im soundin crazy, this just got me freeked!

[tictactoe2006]

address this now and let her know it is unacceptable. Sorry, but many, many women are like this. There's one x who they're inseparably linked to. And, no matter what, if he comes around, she will scream 'hootchieBANGBANG!!" and run off with him, leaving you with a broker heart.

 

Tell her she needs to make a clean break if she wants t be with you.

[smiles21]

Calmmm down. First off, this may be something you need to deal with. Just because people break up, it doesn’t mean they get rid of all the stuff that was given to them. Especially jewelry, I can understand how it would bother you for her to wear those things. But its not uncommon. I’m pretty certain my ex wears the gold bracelet I gave her for Christmas last year still.. and we still care for one another.. but we aren’t together. I think showing that you wouldn’t care would probably impress her.. I would NOT over-react about this..

 

By the way, noticed your name.. supercharger manufacturers.. heh.. I own a Ford Lightning.

[Slacker]

My girlfriend is pretty much the same deal..... and i'm not going to lie, I think of breaking up with her whenever I see one of those God forsaken momento things... I hate to be controlling, but I also hate sharing her heart with some other guy.

 

Sucks to be us.

[jengh]

address this now and let her know it is unacceptable. Sorry, but many, many women are like this. There's one x who they're inseparably linked to. And, no matter what, if he comes around, she will scream 'hootchieBANGBANG!!" and run off with him, leaving you with a broker heart.

 

Tell her she needs to make a clean break if she wants t be with you.

 

This is not true...

but yeah, I agree with the last sentence. tell her to make a clean break

[jengh]

Calmmm down. First off, this may be something you need to deal with. Just because people break up, it doesn’t mean they get rid of all the stuff that was given to them. Especially jewelry, I can understand how it would bother you for her to wear those things. But its not uncommon. I’m pretty certain my ex wears the gold bracelet I gave her for Christmas last year still.. and we still care for one another.. but we aren’t together. I think showing that you wouldn’t care would probably impress her.. I would NOT over-react about this..

 

By the way, noticed your name.. supercharger manufacturers.. heh.. I own a Ford Lightning.

 

Definitely... my ex bought me a necklace from tiffany's to match a bracelet my parents bought me for my birthday... I would NEVER stop wearing that thing. It's gorgeous. It has nothign to do with the ex, i just love the necklace

[EatonWhipple]

But she got pants and a shirt, and then theres the password thing..... is just too much, i dont want to make her chose cuz then i feel like a jerk.

[EatonWhipple]

By the way, noticed your name.. supercharger manufacturers.. heh.. I own a Ford Lightning.

 

lolz nice catch!

[Mythical_Suicide]

Okay first off, could you please not use so much "computer slang" and not shorten your words. It makes it somewhat difficult to read and understand. On to your question, I dont' think one should part with say jewelry, clothes, etc when they break up especially if they're nice items. As far as say stuffed animals and such I could agree with you on that my bf had a couple of those when we first started dating and I asked him if he could get rid of them and he did. For her password, Id ont know what to tell you , maybe she has just never gottena round to changing it? I dont know. Maybe you should just talk with her.

[Iceman26]

I don't understand why your girlfriend felt the need to tell you which items were from her ex and which weren't. That sounds like she is just being immature and trying to make you jealous.

 

I agree that if she can't let go of the ex, then you should let her be free to go chase him down.

[EatonWhipple]

ok, sorry im not too bright when it comes to real writing. I really don't want to tell her what to do (I HATE guys who try to control there g/f's), and I really dont want to dump her.... i know this id going to sound bad, but honestly suicide is a option for me

[Slacker]

ok, sorry im not too bright when it comes to real writing. I really don't want to tell her what to do (I HATE guys who try to control there g/f's), and I really dont want to dump her.... i know this id going to sound bad, but honestly suicide is a option for me

 

Whoa bro, take a step back.... I understand what it feels like to not want to hurt her, but you are taking this waay too deep.

 

Just remember, if she can't let go of her ex then she doesn't love you and you deserve better, WAAY better than the half life you'll have if you hold this in.

 

I say you leave her, if you tell her to cut ties with her ex and she still wants to wear his #### around she's only going to resent you, and probably defy you for the act, dont risk it, BAIL cause she is obviously not over this dude.

[shes2smart]

For what it's worth, my ex bought me a percussive massager (like they have at the chiropractor) when we were together. The thing cost $100-150 at the time. I took it with me when I left him and continued to use it on my upper back and shoulders most nights even after I met & married my husband and right up until the day the motor died.

 

When I left my ex, I was of the opinion he was a horse's behind. The only fond thought I had of him was occaisionally thinking, "I'm glad he bought this nice percussive massager...I feel very relaxed now." But that didn't change the fact that I thought he was a horse's behind.

 

As for the password, my first thought is that's something you shouldn't even know. I use a high school crush's birthdate as a password for several sites..it's a 6 digit number that's easy to remember and not easy for others to figure out (like if I had used my own birthdate or my husband's birthdate). Just cause I'm using his birthdate doesn't mean I'm pining away for him or wanna look him up to hook up or anything. It's just 6 numbers I remember because that relationship was significant at some point 20-odd years ago.

[Hope75]

I would agree with S2S. I have a few pieces of jewelry from past exes still hanging around that I wear from time to time, and not because I give a hoot about the exes, just because it's pretty jewelry. It stopped being sentimental when my feelings for the exes in question faded.

 

I wouldn't be too concerned about a password either, although I agree that you shouldn't really know that anyway..... it's easier to keep a password that you know and use frequently than to chance it- it's likely more a matter of convenience than anything else.

[Slacker]

A massager is a utility thing, she seems to be holding on to sentiment,

Which means theres no room for you eaton.

 

For extra symbolism points, wait till she's wearing the outfit and the jewellery

and end it.

[tictactoe2006]

This is not true...

but yeah, I agree with the last sentence. tell her to make a clean break

 

 

Might not be true in 100% of cases, but definitely more than 50%.

[Hope75]

A massager is a utility thing, she seems to be holding on to sentiment,

Which means theres no room for you eaton.

 

For extra symbolism points, wait till she's wearing the outfit and the jewellery

and end it.

 

It seems that you think that a person would have to get rid of every gift received by an intimate partner in their lifetime in order to be fully committed to another person.

 

I'm just curious why that is? An I way off base here? I know from personal experience at least that this is not the case with me. And my bf of 4 years doesn't seem to have a problem with it either- since we show each other every day with out actions how much we mean to one another- it has nothing to do with an outfit from an ex or a couple of pieces of jewelry. In fact, he wears a watch that his ex gave him years ago every day. It's a beautiful and very expensive watch- and I actually admire it as well. At this point the watch has nothing to do with feelings about his ex- just a very nice watch.

[Slacker]

I wouldnt say that you have to rid yourself of all belongings, but i believe in the beginning eaton said that she keeps the stuff to remind her of her ex, if it was just a "nice watch" or something kept for actual value that would be fine (IMO) but these things are sentimental ties (at least thats what i got from it, and thats my situation as well)

[shes2smart]

A massager is a utility thing, she seems to be holding on to sentiment,

Which means theres no room for you eaton.

 

For extra symbolism points, wait till she's wearing the outfit and the jewellery

and end it.

 

To you, a massager is a utility thing. You have to consider the item in the context of who it was given to.

 

While many women may love jewelry, I'm not one of them. Never have been. My husband makes me ridiculously happy when he promises he'll NEVER buy me any jewelry. Clothing? Bah. Not important to me. I used to spend all my free time in a barn mucking out horse stalls. Flannel and jeans suits me just fine, thanks.

 

But that massager? I wanted one of those things for a loooooooong time, but never had the money to buy one for myself. I'd hazard a guess that thing was as fine a gift to me as pretty pieces of jewelry are to some other women.

 

Look, people are going to hang on to reminders of their past. Doesn't mean they want to go back to exes or go back to times long gone. If you seriously expect that the person you're involved with MUST "erase" all previous evidence of having been involved with anyone else, you're in for a lot of disappointment. Especially as you get older, everyone's going to have baggage. Heck, some of 'em might even have friendly, non-romantic relationships with their ex that they intend to maintain.

 

Rather than put so much stock into mementos or items she just likes but didn't buy for herself, the questions that need to be asked here are "does she still talk to or see her ex on a regular basis?" and, if so, "what are those interactions like?" If the answer to that question is "yes," and those interactions appear flirty or overly friendly then there might -- MIGHT -- be something more to it. If the answer is "no," then you're just chasing after shadows.

 

My ex-college bf (the only ex I keep in touch with) gave me a garlic press as a housewarming gift. I love that freakin' garlic press (I also like to cook...so a kitchen gadget is to me what jewelry & clothing is to another woman)...but that doesn't mean I'm pinin' after my ex who gave it to me.

[dierberg]

That one would have me freaked too!

[FCTex]

I agree with most folks.

 

If she wears it, who cares.

 

I've got an ex walking around with no less than $4K in jewelry on her.. infact I saw her today and she atleast the earrings and necklace on, and that was over a year ago!!

 

I just got the biggest kick out of her wearing that 1/2ct solitate promise ring, as she had her arm around her new boyfriend. I saw that picture on her facebook, and died laughing. There it is.. shinin' like a star on his shoulder..

[Rabican]

ok PLZ! (please) guys help me out!

 

I am seeing this girl now, she's got neclaces (necklaces) and outfits from he EX!

(SHE SAIS (says) SHE LIKE (likes) TO WEAR THEM TO REMEMBER HIM)

It buggs (bugs) me, but i aint gonna tell her wat (what) 2 (to) do....

 

also she wuz (was)over at my house the other day, and i no (know) it was messed up, but i saw her put in her passwoed (password) and it was her exs (exes) name! she says she dont really think of huim (him) much, cause (because) she's wit (with) me, but im thinkin BS!!!!!!

 

srry if im soundin crazy, this just got me freeked!

 

You are not sounding crazy, but you are sounding like english was not your first choice of language. nET sp3ak, or ebonics... whatever you are speaking here... well its not so good.

I also took the liberty of quoting your post, and inserting parenthesis with the proper wording for future reference. (Note to moderators, sorry if this is rude, I just cant stand the net speak, and it is against the rules).

 

Anyways, If she wants to wear stuff that he got her thats one thing. Jewelry, clothes etc.... well they are not suddenly garbage because the person is an ex. I wouldnt toss a good shirt for example if I broke up with my girl. That said, if shes wearing them because shes still hung up on him, you need to have a serious talk with her about this. You are not being crazy, thats a serious reason for concern. Sit her down and tell her how you feel, and that if shes not over him, which it sounds that she is not then maybe you two should part ways.

[Rabican]

But she got pants and a shirt, and then theres the password thing..... is just too much, i dont want to make her chose cuz then i feel like a jerk.

 

Just ask her why she has his name as a password, and why she wears his stuff if it reminds her of him. It sounds like shes trying to cling to some remnant of their past... which would bother me. The fact that she wears the stuff, shouldnt be an issue by itself.

[FCTex]

It could just be a habit thing.. Passwords are personal you know..

 

I have an e-mail that I was changing my password the other day, and I had a security question that was.."What is my girlfriends middle name?"

 

I typed in my current girls name, and it was wrong. It was my ex's, from well over a year ago.

 

That doesn't mean I clinging to her.. It's just something I had, and never bothered to change.

[EatonWhipple]

I just got the biggest kick out of her wearing that 1/2ct solitate promise ring, as she had her arm around her new boyfriend. I saw that picture on her facebook, and died laughing. There it is.. shinin' like a star on his shoulder..

 

See thats it! I think you got a kick because it was still a tie to you.

this aint about throwin away everything, this is about at leest keepin it out a my face! and she created the name/password while we had been together for 5 months!!!! and i know she uses it at least 3x a week.... which means 3x a week she's typing his name, 3x a week she's thinking of him, 3x a week she's wonderin about the life they coud've had together...

 

i feel like im on posted teritory.

 

(i apologize rabican, i am trying very hard to clean up my writing as i see it is an issue here, i was not belssed with a good schooling)