How much is TOO much???

[fnlyfrei]

Yes, it's me again...in a new relationship (still) and I love to be with him...but how much is too much time spent together? We see each other almost every day....which in a way I like...but at the same time, it is pretty early in the relationship for this. I could see it if we were engaged or something..but we have only known each other for like, maybe almost 12 weeks. Things are great but going very fast...does that happen sometimes? Is there a certain time line for healthy relationships? ~And if things move too fast too soon, could that be an indication of trouble in the future?

[dogheadma]

Yes, that can happen sometimes and there's nothing wrong with it as long as you both feel comfortable.

 

If you feel it's too much right now, you might want to indulge more in other areas of your life to keep yourself occupied so as to create a distance that you feel better suits you for the time being.

 

But if you both feel ok about it then it is ok! Nothing wrong with that at all.

 

Whatever you feel comfortable with is what's best.

[laboheme]

The one problem with trying to gauge whether or not things are moving too quickly is that by the time you realize that they are, it's too late to fix them. You have that fight...you decide that it's because you don't have enough time to yourself...you ask for a little more space...they see it as breaking up...Bad all around.

 

How do you feel when you're apart? Do you feel like you can enjoy things on your own without him being there? Or do you need his company in order to feel happy? Have you felt like there are awkward moments when neither of you really know what to do because you've exhausted all possible activities/conversation topics? If yes, that's a sign that you need to take a step back and do more things on your own. If not -- if you have a life of your own and you feel comfortable with where you're at, carry on. But watch for some of those things before you get to that point that all of us dread...

[maladjusted]

whether you decide to slow things down or keep them it the way it is the first thing you must do is to communicate and be honest with your bf. you need to reassure him that you are just looking to spend some time on your own and nothing else but if you don't communicate that properly he might see that as rejection, take it the wrong way, or that you don't want to spend time with him. without communcating your feelings properly that is when the trouble starts.

[Day_Walker]

Typically in the beginning is where you will spend the most time together as a couple, unless the two people live together. You are asking a subjective question, it depends on the people and the relationship.

[BellaDonna]

This will vary from couple to couple, but my guess is, if you have to ask this question, then right now you feel like this is too much for YOU.

 

If you feel overwhelmed, you might want to casually take a small step back and be a little less available. Perhaps cut down to a few times a week instead of every day.

 

BellaDonna

[RayKay]

As you can see by the replies so far, everyone is different.

 

I don't think being engaged means you spend more time together than if you aren't either - everyone has their own individual needs and lives outside their partners they need to pursue as well! Being engaged or married does not mean you stop being a unique person (at least is should not); and in a relationship you should not feel either you are losing whom YOU are.

 

Don't give up the things that make you YOU; if this means you need to NOT see each other everyday then by all means don't see one another every day!

 

Some space is good, and not only will you miss one another, but you will have more to talk about and share with one another!

[fnlyfrei]

Well, I do not mind for the most part that he is around so much...as long as I can keep doing the things I should be doing....which I confess... I haven't been doing so much because I do not want to miss a minute of time with him...(I know, he and I are both sickening right now...very mushy stuff) But after a few relationships where I was completely taken for granted and sometimes just plain ignored...I feel wonderful that someone wants to be around me. I guess I need to balance out my own priorites...and not lose myself in this relationship. That's what I am afraid of...putting myself as a person last..sacraficing that for couplehood. I think I could have both if I could put away the insecurities !!!!