OMG is this really happening?!

[jdn782]

hello

 

i think every guy has asked themselves am i gay?most think well girls turn me on so obviously i cant be. well this always was me. and i cant make sense of this.

 

First off im 20 year old male. ive been with a girl for 7 months now and i do like her alot.

.ill start from my young years. myt dad is very quiet. never really hugged me or touched me at all.wasnt affectionate at all. (#1 enviormental influence of homosexuality). i mean i did "guy stuff" with him like play catch in the yard and rake up leaves an so forth. i have 3 older brothers who always picked on me and i always ran to my mom cuz i was her "baby".this could possibly also be an enviormental influence. i have had and still do have alot of male friends who i feel no attraction for.

wen i was probaly 8 or 10 me and a few of my friends would do stuff together i wont go into detail. it wasnt an intimate expierience.but more of a curious expierience. I have read that this is normal and doestn mean one is gay. so come Jr High i started liking girls. i had crushes on a few. and found that i was turned on by girls in short shirts and short shorts(always had a fetish for legs)

this fetish continued into high school and i still have it now.it is my only reasoning for thinkin im not gay

 

my high school years were mainly normal i kept to myself and that was pretty much it.i mostly played backyard football and playstation with a few of my friends.the normal guy things. it wasnt till my sophmore year of college which i began to doubt myself.i fing wen i look at guys i feel more of an attraction as opposed to lookin at girls. ive really been feeling that physical attraction towards other men.

 

the first time i had intercourse ever was with a girl las year i was hard and aroused wen we were makin out and stuff, but during sex i lost my erection. i thought ok first time i was nervous and i never had intecourse before that with neone( i never had sex with a man either)

so wen i met my girlfriend awile ago i found myself attracted to her and i love touching her (and you kno were i mean) then i had sex with her a few weeks ago and it all went smoothly i climaxed and everything.i dont fantasize about men and i dont strive to have sex with them...its jus that lately i really am startin to think guys are hot

 

i kno im the only one who could decided wether or not im gay, but i would jus like opinions from homosexuals who know wat its like. i really hope im not gay.no disresect to any gay people i think if you are happy with it then who is anyone else to say. i have met gay people in my life and they are jus as normal as heterosexuals.but being gay would completely mess up my goals and dreams. one day id really like to have a family and kids.

[pregnantkitty_1985]

Of course I'm not an expert on this because I'm not gay, but it sounds to me like you're bisexual.

 

You can still have a family and kids and be bisexual. You could have a family and kids being gay as well. (Adoption, using an egg donor, surrogate mother etc, and though you may not be able to become legally married, you could have one of those commitment ceremonies.)

 

There's nothing wrong with your attraction to other men. It's not sick or disturbing and you shouldn't feel ashamed about it.

 

However if you're worried you're more attracted to guys then your girlfriend, then I'd suggest taking some time apart to see what (or who) it is that you really want. You don't want to end up hurting an innocent person in the process.

 

Good luck to you.

[pregnantkitty_1985]

Oh, and you can still complete any dream and goal regardless of sexual orientation.

[annie24]

welcome to enotalone

 

i don't think that every guy asks themselves if they are gay. but you don't sound 100% straight to me either. you are probably somewhere in between, maybe bi with a preference of one over the other. But, as Dan Savage (author of the column "Savage Love"), if you think you might be gay, you're gay.

 

I think you may want to break up with your gf and maybe explore things with men for a while, and see if you still like it, or not....

 

good luck

[veneratio]

I really don't think environments have any effect on being gay...but just as engaged kitty said it shouldn't prevent your goals and dreams. You should definitely explore though.

 

You may want a family, wife, kids, etc., but it'll only hurt them if that isn't where your true feelings lie.

 

As for the guy thing...I don't consider myself gay or bi, but I can admit when another guy is good-looking, just as women can admit when another woman is good-looking. If you're turned on by guys, then maybe there's something there. Hope I helped.

[Dako]

I never wondered if I was gay.

 

These feelings are worth resolving before someone gets hurt.

[mdog]

uhm Im gay and my dad did the same thing your dad did. He didnt hug me or anything but he did for my sister. u know didnt do any of that stuff and he also wasnt home all the time because he was at work which was good and bad because he was never there when we had those arguments because he cant deal with them. ^^ i completely disagree i do believe the enivironment you were in when you were younger have effects on sexual orientation but thats just me.

But my story turns tho. the older i got the more i realized i was gay and like when i was younger i always denied it to myself until my freshmen year in high school.

And ur sexual orientation isnt gunna mess up your goals. Explore new options. and you act like homosexuals now were happy when they first realize that they might be gay. if i remember right i was upset!

[someguy1976]

It sounds like a very confusing time in your life, and you'll work it out. But it sounds like you don't have a lot of experience in the relations dept. Have you ever slept with a guy? If not, try it, see how you feel afterwards, and I bet you'll get your answer. BTW: A little constructive critisism, you should proof your posts before posting them. Your spelling and grammer is not very good.

[beanpaper]

On the 0 to 6 scale, you seem like a 1 or 2. You can find men attractive without being gay or bi, ya know.

 

 

 

 

 

One of Dr. Kinsey's most well known theories is the "Heterosexual/ Homosexual Rating Scale," which rates a person's homosexuality or heterosexuality on a 7-point continuum.

Keep in mind, however, that it is normal for a heterosexual person to have thoughts, dreams or even fantasies about members of the same sex as it is for homosexuals to have thoughts about heterosexuals.

zSB(3,3)

 

 

Thus, your "score" may not be a perfect 6 or 0. How are gay are you?

 

 

 

 

0- Exclusively heterosexual

 

1- Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual

 

2- Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual

 

3- Equally heterosexual and homosexual

 

4- Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual

 

5- Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual

 

6- Exclusively homosexual

[coffeeformylover]

link removed

 

there is the website to take the test that that person is talking about...if that will make you feel any better