i need advice!!!

[mduk]

hey guys! this is my 1st post, im desperate for advice....

 

my gf and i were gr8 friends before we got together and there was an obvious chemistry between us so eventualy we got together and things were great. but now, 2 years down the line, weve lost the closeness we had and the relationship just isnt the same.

 

we barely even talk anymore, then out of the blue she tells me she wants more space, like we didnt have enough already.....

 

i think that mayb shes bored with being in a relationship, as we are both very young(shes 18 and im 20), which i understand totaly as i had the same thoughts myself not so long ago, but i realised wat she meant 2 me and i got over it, im hoping she will 2 but i cant see it happening. i cant help thinking that its headed for disaster.

 

i love her so much and i just wanna fix the problem....i just dont know wat it is!!!

 

hope you guys can help

[mrsirish]

the best thing to do is sit down and talk, i know it can be hard sometimes, but communication is always the best way.just tell he you need to talk, even go out to dinner or something to break the ice, then tell het you have noticed that you dont seem as close anymore,ask her what she wants,tell her what you want and see if you can come up with anything..i sometimes find it hard to talk face to face with my hubby after things that happened in the past, i know it sounds strange, but when i feel like that he tells me to write down what i want to say, he will then read it when ive gone to bed, then he will come up and talk to me, its easier for me sometimes that way.tell her you love her and want to work this out.

[Maverick32x]

Well, to be honest it doesn't look so good.... You really need to confront her on whats bugging her, since its obviously something. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that she is looking to breakup with you, and is just setting you up for it.... So ya, be ready for that if it comes down to it..... Either way, figure out the problem, and you'll be much better off~

[trjarstjornur]

Yes, she probably is bored. I'd be bored in a relationship where there wasn't any closeness anymore. If there isn't closeness, what is there? Sex? Really - if you barely even talk these days, it's not much of a relationship, is it? I mean, what do you do when you're together?

 

I don't think it's possible for one person to fix a relationship, so the first thing you could (or should) do is to just talk to her. Tell her how you feel about all this, suggest you spend more time doing non-sexual "couple-y" things, share some hobbies - that sort of thing. Something that actually involves you both doing something, being active - not just going to movies or watching DVDs at home.

 

On the other hand - she wants more space. You can't force her to be with you any more than she wants to be. Maybe it is time to end the relationship - it's not the end of the world, you know. It'll hurt and all, and it won't be pleasant, but sometimes that's the only thing to do.

[MountainDrew]

I know you've heard it a gajillion times, but communication is totally the key. Like the others said above me, you have to talk to her. And as sad as it is, you have to be prepared for her to just say, "I need something new" or something along the lines of that. Trust me, I know...my gf of 3.5 years just broke up with me 2 weeks ago for that same reason. Talk to her! It is the ONLY way to begin to fix things.

 

Drew