someone pleaseeeee help me! how do i go NC ! I keep breaking it! need help thanks

[krnswte143]

Ok, to make story short. my bf and i broke up a little over a month ago... we were in contact briefly on and off. things kinda got mad we started to argue few times then we stop talking and end up talking again........i see my ex online every damn day!! i get so tempted to IM him or what not.... and at night time he is online too! I started my NC on wed. I didnt talk to him all day but at night time I send him a funny link and said it was cute and I didnt start any convo. Please help me stick with NC because that is what I want. Its for the best for me and him. But sometimes I feel like talking to him . He doesnt try to talk to me now ( im not sure why?) We kinda got into an argument a week ago cus he wanted to sleep w/ me but he said he was sorry when i said i was sad n really hurt n disappointed. After that, we stopped talking.

 

Few days later, I contacted him! I really need help cus i keep breaking it. What should I do?

 

i dont want to seem desperate or crazy or anything......

thanks!

[confused25]

First thing to do -- sign off your aim! You have no business being on there! You can live without it. And try to stay away from home as much as possible. When my ex broke up with me two months ago, I was devasted. I'd always be sitting beside my laptop or phone waiting for him to im, email, call or text me. But you know what? that never happened! Now I'm just trying to focus on myself, keeping myself busy so that I won't have time to even think about him. I try to stay away from being alone by going out with friends, going to the gym, or even go shopping. Trust me, it works. I am finding myself thinking about him less and less, and I've stopped crying at night.

[Ham]

I keep breaking NC too. I managed a couple of weeks, then broke it, a couple more weeks, then broke it again in a big way last weekend.

 

I'm starting again though... I think the only thing you can do is try your hardest and don't beat yourself up too much if you do come unstuck. Just try again.

 

In the weeks where I have managed to maintain it though, when I've really wanted to break it I just remember what I've read on here. As much as you want to reach out to them, you have to remember that whatever the reasons are they, at the moment at least, want nothing to do with us. That is why they broke up with us, and I really don't want to come accross as an annoyance and send her even further away (despite the fact I keep texting her every couple of weeks and am probably doing just that!).

 

Try breathing, and thinking about whether it is really worth your energy to try and communicate with someone who doesn't feel you are worthy of their time.

 

As I'm writing this, I feel really hypocritical. It's so much easier said than done. And I'm not going to tell you to forget about them, or that you're a fool if you break NC. I too know it's for the best but for some reason I can not help myself. I know how you feel, lots of people on here do, and we're all in the same boat.

 

It's hard, I can't stop thinking about her myself, and I'm sure you feel the same. But take it one day at a time, and as I said, try again if you fail. Myself, I'm determined to keep it up this time. Fingers crossed...

 

Good luck. Take care of yourself.

[elithepi]

This may help...

 

[Hope75]

Try blocking him from your AIM, then you won't be able to see him when he's on and won't be tempted to talk with him as much.

[freedom]

take away any chance of contacting him or him contacting you.

That means...

1: you have to change your phone number. (if he does know it he cant call you)

 

2: Remove yourself from any online chat programs. Wheni say remove i mean delete/uninstall. (people that you know on line will understand) IF yo have to be online because of family oversea then install a different chat program.

 

3: stay away from home as much as possible.

 

4: (this help me most) dont take your mobile phone out with you. You have survived without it, you can survive without it.

[blahblah2006]

Yeah, i know how you feel. I am a weird person. I broke up with my GF then i got back together with her. But it made me so sad to be with her. So i broke up with her. She loves me so much, she said she would give me an unlimited amount of chances. I had to tell her, if i ask you please say no. Its weird i had her tell me she didnt like me just so i could move on. Anyway its hard, i know.

 

I hope you can stick it out. I know when i did it, it was what was best for both of us.

 

On another note just delete him from your life. Its not that hard. I am sure you know how but do you have the will power to do it.

[krnswte143]

yeah its very hard cus i keep trying to talk to him.....i mean a week ago we got into a small fit......anyways i ask him if he could have lunch w/ me nxt weekend for his bday......u guys think its a good idea.....( just to let u know im not talking or hes not talking to me now)

[blahblah2006]

If you love him still, and you think thier might be a chance to work it out then maybe it was a good idea. But if you wanted to get over him then no its probably not the best idea. Its hard to get over someone.

 

Anyway yeah he really should talk to you. Maybe hes done with it. Some guys dont care.

 

Hope all is well

[Hope75]

yeah its very hard cus i keep trying to talk to him.....i mean a week ago we got into a small fit......anyways i ask him if he could have lunch w/ me nxt weekend for his bday......u guys think its a good idea.....( just to let u know im not talking or hes not talking to me now)

 

You could try- but be prepared for a response that is not what you are looking for.

 

Not to mention, it's probably not the best idea to spend time with him if all he wants is to sleep with you, which is only going to make things hurt more in the long run. Why give yourself to a guy who just wants sex, but doesn't feel you are good enough to commit to?

 

Are you willing to settle?

[need2bme]

Welcome. I am sorry you feel the way you do.

 

Just remember that NC is for you. However, if you really want to know how to stick with it, just try and remember what you feel like, every time you break it.

 

Or, you could simply ask the 2 girls I dated this year. They seem to be doing just fine with not contacting me.