my guy finishes too soon all of the sudden

[Dako]

I think making love to a woman is less a matter of when your prostate gland contracts than a sincere emotional and physical effort to bring her pleasure and demonstrate affection.

[marathoner55]

nah, if i want to masturbate i'll do it alone. I just want it back the way it was, thats the way i like it the most. I wish he acted like he cared sometimes though

 

I'm a guy.

 

My lady and I went from just about as fast as each other, to the point where she takes about 30 minutes longer to have an orgasm than I take.

 

This is due to a medical condition. We are still very much in love, but it simply takes her much longer these days.

 

How do I deal with it? I follow the motto "Ladies First, Always"

 

If sex is part of a loving relationship, and reflects the fact that I'm into her in a passionate way, I want her to have an orgasm. I love it when I give her an orgasm. It is an essential part of passion and romance.

 

Here are a couple of specific ideas. Instead of waiting till the end of the day when he's tired, why not bring him to orgasm a couple of hours earlier? A quickie handjob before you go out for dinner and a movie, and then he makes love to you when you return? By that time he should be able to get it up again, but because he orgasm-ed a couple of hours earlier, he should last longer and be able to please you.

 

Another idea: He lays on his back on the bed. You lower yourself onto him and insert him into you. Then there is stimulation of your little sensitive button (His fingers? Your fingers? A little vibrator he applies? Or that you apply? Experimentation is fun!). This continues until you orgasm. Remember, you are not lifting and falling to simulate thrusting, instead your orgasm is coming from the stimulation of your clit. Since you are not simulating thrusting, and since he is not actually thrusting (he is just laying there inside you) he probably won't come. Then you flip over and let him get on top, and he finishes. Result: Ladies first, but he is satisfied too!

 

Next idea: He gets you off by giving you oral sex. After you have been satisfied, it is his turn. Every guy who wants to ensure his lady-love is satisfied needs to learn excellent oral sex skills. Put him on his back and put a pillow under his head, then lower your sex onto his mouth. He will be getting no stimulation, so he can't come first.

 

- Marathoner55

[pregnantkitty_1985]

This is a very, very important rule for all men to remember:

 

LADIES FIRST!!!!!!!

[pregnantkitty_1985]

It isn't his responsibility either though.

 

If a guy is too fast or too slow, that is how he is. Not he has much of a choice. There are things he can do to slow himself down but it's not gonna be like he is gonna go from 2 minutes to 20 minutes.

 

At the same time, if the woman is too slow, shouldn't she do things to speed herself up to catch up with her guy? Rather than always the other way around.

 

That's not even true, that's completely inaccurate. Must every post you write have glaring generalizations?

 

Any man, and that's any, even you, could slow himself down. It just takes a little bit of effort and concentration, that's all. I've been told this from a man himself (and have witnessed this firsthand. ) He said sometimes if he doesn't concentrate he'll bust a nut quick, but if he focuses his mind, he'll just go for a long period of time.

 

As for a woman needing to "speed" herself up, well, that's a bit ridiculous. It takes some women a lot longer to even warm up, I guess that's why there's foreplay? And it doesn't take a man too long to get a boner. Go figure.

[doyathink]

Hey, TiredOne, at my age I'll stick with it until I get complaints.

 

Dako my man, this is why you are ranked higher than other men who lack in the 'pleasuring a woman' department.

 

Men who are less then this will end up alone in the dark at the end of the day.

 

There is one lucky lady who will enjoy the man you are. do you have a brother?

[doyathink]

That's not even true, that's completely inaccurate. Must every post you write have glaring generalizations?

 

Any man, and that's any, even you, could slow himself down. It just takes a little bit of effort and concentration, that's all. I've been told this from a man himself (and have witnessed this firsthand. ) He said sometimes if he doesn't concentrate he'll bust a nut quick, but if he focuses his mind, he'll just go for a long period of time.

 

As for a woman needing to "speed" herself up, well, that's a bit ridiculous. It takes some women a lot longer to even warm up, I guess that's why there's foreplay? And it doesn't take a man too long to get a boner. Go figure.

 

I agree. If there were a way a woman could just speed up ...then we would. We dont have the control a man does.....

[bitbit]

apparently you guys are all selfish in bed.

[pregnantkitty_1985]

Uh, no. Sex is not a one way street. If we're going to work hard at getting a man off (and that's giving head and p*ssy too), then they need to reciprocate.

 

There's nothing wrong with giving head and then sex, as you advised the original poster, but it's more selfish for a man to take, take, take, and receive, receive, receive, without giving anything in return. It's not selfish for the original poster or anyone else to want reciprocation if they're working hard their damn selves to get their man off. Once in awhile is okay, (and it happens occasionally to even the best sex partners) but when he's constantly getting on top of her, doing his thing, busting off without taking the time to get her off as well, then that's what I'd call selfish.

[Shadows Light]

Uh, no. Sex is not a one way street. If we're going to work hard at getting a man off (and that's giving head and p*ssy too), then they need to reciprocate.

 

There's nothing wrong with giving head and then sex, as you advised the original poster, but it's more selfish for a man to take, take, take, and receive, receive, receive, without giving anything in return. It's not selfish for the original poster or anyone else to want reciprocation if they're working hard their damn selves to get their man off. Once in awhile is okay, (and it happens occasionally to even the best sex partners) but when he's constantly getting on top of her, doing his thing, busting off without taking the time to get her off as well, then that's what I'd call selfish.

 

VERY VERY WELL SAID... and what I was trying to say in a previous post.

 

There is NOTHING that will cool my jets faster than having my partner constantly take take take and me get left hanging.

 

Dako is right...

“ I think making love to a woman is less a matter of when your prostate gland contracts than a sincere emotional and physical effort to bring her pleasure and demonstrate affection.”

 

There is nothing better than having a man who takes his time with you and loves your entire body… and not just your erogenous zones. The pay offs for such a man are 10 fold. She will love him and “want” to take care of him if he takes the time to take her on that magic carpet ride. LoL.

 

Women are wired differently than men are. It takes on average about 5 minutes for a man to get to peak while it takes the average woman 20 minutes to get there.

 

Grin… while men do mulitiplication tables in their head to slow themselves up. Women have to go the other way to get themselves there faster. AYE… its just as frustrating for us when it takes us a while to warm up.

 

Poster… Communication. You need to talk to your partner and explain to him what it is you need. And try to do it in the most loving and non-confrontational manner you can. IF he continues to be selfish…. They you have some decisions to make about what you “CAN” live with… and what you “CAN’T” live without.

[TiredMan]

This is a very, very important rule for all men to remember:

 

LADIES FIRST!!!!!!!

 

Not in any sort of equal world. No one comes first!

[CarnelianButterfly]

I think its a sign of the man's skill if he can pleasure his partner. If he leaves her unsatisfied, he's really just a teenager in the sheets. Any boy can finish and go, a man will make it a good time for all.

[TiredMan]

My opinion on this matter is that it's not the guy's responbility. I think as a society, guys tend to care too much (not all of the time of course) about what the woman wants. You know, make sure you spend enough on dates, gifts, cost of the engagement ring, sex stuff etc.

[treefrogkate]

My opinion on this matter is that it's not the guy's responbility. I think as a society, guys tend to care too much (not all of the time of course) about what the woman wants. You know, make sure you spend enough on dates, gifts, cost of the engagement ring, sex stuff etc.

 

And what would you say to a woman who had sex with you, got off... and then rolled over and went to sleep without finishing you off? Would you feel that it was not her responsibility to give you pleasure? Would you be happy and consider this satisfactory sex? Pardon my boldness, but I think not.

 

Buying things for someone is a lot different than having sex. Gifts are all about the receiver. In sex, both parties are both giver and receiver. I would be extremely dissatisfied with sex if I were the only one getting pleasure out of the deal.

[Lady Luck]

Make him tell you when he's close to cumming, and stop having sex for like a minute or so. Then do it again. This way you'll be able to have an orgasm, most likely atleast.

[TiredMan]

And what would you say to a woman who had sex with you, got off... and then rolled over and went to sleep without finishing you off? Would you feel that it was not her responsibility to give you pleasure? Would you be happy and consider this satisfactory sex? Pardon my boldness, but I think not.

 

Buying things for someone is a lot different than having sex. Gifts are all about the receiver. In sex, both parties are both giver and receiver. I would be extremely dissatisfied with sex if I were the only one getting pleasure out of the deal.

 

Well, in the case you described, I'd be concerned with getting myself off with her rather than relying on her to do it for me. I'd go at a rhythm that would get me off too if that was the case. If it takes me an hour, I don't expect her to have to hold out for me. I would probably just deal with it myself. And this situation HAS happened where she finished and/or got sore and we stopped and I hadn't. And I never made it seem like they did something wrong.

 

I'm all for giving and receiving. But when one person takes significantly longer than the other, to sit there and blame the other person, to me, is ridiculous.

[Shadows Light]

yeah, thank goodness you all agree lol. He actually thought i DIDNT want to have an orgasm, how crazy is that? He said "oh i thought you didn't want to have one". goodness, if you said that to a guy, he'd think your'e crazy.

 

So after this conversation has anything changed???

[california_love2006]

I told him about it and he's doing ok so far, but there's other issues behind this that i would like him to stop doing, doesn't have to do with sex but i wish he'd just grow up already.

[snowgirl]

I would never in a million years dream of having sex with someone and only getting off myself. If he wanted to get off, I would make it happen. If you don't both enjoy it, what is the point? If my partner did this to me, I would be very hurt and I would eventually (or evey quickly) stop wanting to have sex with him.