strawberries789 Posted December 15, 2006 Share Posted December 15, 2006 Hey Sandyv...i like the idea of 'self-preservation'...i just can't get myself to do it yet i just feel like crying tonight...cry b/c i feel like i lost my soul mate... cry while I sing: How ever far away, I will always love you...How ever long I stay, I will always love you...Whatever words I say, I will always love you Link to comment
sandyv Posted December 15, 2006 Share Posted December 15, 2006 I can relate Strawberries: that song, Here Without You, always does it to me.... and guess what? I can't do it yet either, but I'm trying to pretend, he's always on my mind....... Link to comment
strawberries789 Posted December 15, 2006 Share Posted December 15, 2006 i can't believe i lost my soul mate twice i lost him once 7 years ago...we were only together for a few months...but then 5 years ago, i went back to him because I thought about him every single day of my life...and now...after 5 years of planning my future, my entire life with him, everything is gone... why did you do this to ME? how could you do this to ME? after everything i have done for you... i just don't understand... what makes it worse is that im realizing more and more now that i loved him MORE than he ever loved me...so he was my soul mate but i wasn't his...how can i move on knowing this? Link to comment
sandyv Posted December 15, 2006 Share Posted December 15, 2006 No Strawberries: I'll never understand either: Too much hurt, not enough truth, nothing is right, too much sadness... Here it is... feel free to post yours, I think this is quite theraputic really: A hundred days had made me older since the last time that I saw your pretty face A thousand lights had made me colder and I don’t think I can look at this the same But all the miles had separate They disappeared now when I’m dreaming of your face I’m here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time I’m here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams And tonight it’s only you and me The miles just keep rolling as the people either way to say hello I hear this life is overrated but I hope it gets better as we go I’m here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time I’m here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams And tonight girl it’s only you and me Everything I know, and anywhere I go it gets hard but it won’t take away my love And when the last one falls, when it’s all said and done it get hard but it won’t take away my love I’m here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time I’m here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams And tonight girl it’s only you and me I’m here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time I’m here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams but tonight girl it’s only you and me Link to comment
strawberries789 Posted December 15, 2006 Share Posted December 15, 2006 Guys, I am thinking of calling my ex tomorrow (when he is at work b/c then I know he can't just hang up on me)...I will be breaking NC 20 days... BUT i am just so lonely...i miss him...i still love him (even though I ended things)... I feel like I still have so many unanswered questions...or is this just an excuse for me to call him...i just want to see him one more time...is this wrong? HELP p.s. i hate myself Link to comment
strawberries789 Posted December 15, 2006 Share Posted December 15, 2006 Dako, even though I ended the relationship, I ACTUALLY feel like I was dumped by him...and that's not how I was planning on having the conversation by the way, i am in a complete state of panic/shock and anxiety...i am not a heartless, insensitive person...this was someone i was in love with for 7 years, so you'll have to excuse me if 20 days of NC is proving to be much more difficult for me than expected. Link to comment
Dako Posted December 15, 2006 Share Posted December 15, 2006 Sorry if I implied anything critical of your recovery. My post seemed strident, so I apologize. I just mean that the contact would be a bad idea. When I was dumped, each call from her at work put my stomach in a knot. 20 days is a horrible stage in your recovery, and it would open wounds for you both. I still think giving him hope is wrong, since it'll add yet another high and low to the rollercoaster effect. NC is hard to stick to, but each time tou make contact it sets you both back. Link to comment
Silentlyfor Posted December 16, 2006 Author Share Posted December 16, 2006 I'm doing ok. A friendship of mine just ended today. Our of anger, my friend told me my ex was getting married next year and moving in with the man she was seeing and buying a house or something. I took that rather well, actually. I'm dreading Christmas day a little bit but I should be fine. I'm having dinner with the family, including my mother. It should be fun. OH... I've found GOD!! I've become a Christian again after 7 years of agnosticism and atheism. Link to comment
strawberries789 Posted December 17, 2006 Share Posted December 17, 2006 hey redmage...glad to hear that you are doing ok...sorry to hear about your friendship ending ~hugs~...that must be very difficult, especially at a time like this... im happy for your new found spirit/faith...this will make you stronger. keep us posted... Link to comment
LilPixie Posted December 17, 2006 Share Posted December 17, 2006 Yeah...finding God after my break up was probably the reason that I am still alive. The pain is still there but I don't feel like I'm alone anymore. It's a good thing that your ex is moving on. At least it will unable you to move on. Fully closed doors feel easier to deal with than the once that are half open. Link to comment
Silentlyfor Posted December 17, 2006 Author Share Posted December 17, 2006 Still doing ok. Having lost a friendshp in December is taking its toll though. Really loved the guy almost like a brother. On the plus side, my ex is definitely not on my mind anymore. So anyway, I think I'll be fine. I'll keep you guys posted further! Link to comment
Silentlyfor Posted December 17, 2006 Author Share Posted December 17, 2006 Damn. Now I'm thinking about my ex a bit. Man I hate this holiday's effect on my mind. It's not bad. I'm not miserable. I just want to know how she's doing and everything. I really wish I didn't watch that Simpsons episode with that Wedding with Apu. Stupid emotions. Link to comment
Silentlyfor Posted December 21, 2006 Author Share Posted December 21, 2006 Guys. I'm doing great now. How's everybody else doing? Link to comment
Dako Posted December 21, 2006 Share Posted December 21, 2006 Today I was looking for some jpg files to update my website and stumbled through pics of my ex and dog on our sailboat. I deleted them without feeling much. The future holds things that haven't hurt me. Time to live. Link to comment
Silentlyfor Posted December 25, 2006 Author Share Posted December 25, 2006 Merry Xmas, everyone!! I'm not doing anything for Xmas, but I'm still feeling good. I'm little lonely however, but the holidays will end. How's everyone doing? Link to comment
Lanterna Magica Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 Happy Christmas! Missing Love, feeling sad, researching all the things I can do for a healthy lifestyle in 2007. I just want the New Year to arrive! Link to comment
Benson Posted December 26, 2006 Share Posted December 26, 2006 Im here for you guys as well. Keep your head up Red. Link to comment
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