Feeling crappy. Thinking about ex at Christmas time. It's been 6 months.

[Silentlyfor]

I don't know what it is, but I've started thinking about my ex again after 6 months of our breakup. I don't want her back. In fact, I don't even like my ex. But memories of the Christmas we had together are making me genuinely miserable. I remember I had the BEST Christmas of my life with her and her family. Now, dammit, I don't have anyone by my side this year to hug, love and hold.

 

I'm not going to break NC. That's impossible considering what I went through before to even get over that she moved on with other people. What my problem is the weight of this misery over me. This is something that is very depressing for me. I really wish I could just forget it, but I can't seem to. What can I do? I feel like I'm might do something regretful like contact her new Christmas Day or mabey even get so miserable as to consider committing suicide as an option.

 

Any advice? This was my first relationship EVER so I'm not sure what to do with this sadness and pain.

[finewhine]

I lost several beloved relatives around the holidays. Every year, my family is reminded of how much we miss them. We are always somewhat sad on this holiday. For several years now, my grandpa has cried at dinner because he misses my grandma who passed on in early December several years ago.

 

I'm not trying to one up you on who's more miserable at Christmas, but you need to put this in perspective, dude. My grandparents were married for sixty years and I've never heard my grandpa talk about suicide.

 

Don't contact your girlfriend. It's over. The holidays kinda suck - deal with it. Everything will pick up in the spring, I promise.

[Shadows Light]

You are definitely not alone. The holidays have a way of bringing on the melancholy, especially if you are newly out of a relationship.

 

Hang on tight to the NC.

 

Think good thoughts... positive thoughts. Look at your calandar and pre-plan. Try to fill your calandar with something fun do do each and every day. Try some new hobbies. Hang out with friends. Fill in the days with NEW memories... happy memories.

 

In other words.... re-program yourself. Re-wire. Push unwanted memories to the back of your mind and focus on creating NEW memories.

 

Do NOT... listen to music that will bring you into that lovey dovey mood.

Do Not... watch romance type movies right now. Go rent yourself some comedies.

 

Change up your routines. Import a new routine. It works... focus.

 

If you find yourself wanting to write that email. Write it. Put it into the draft folder... and sleep on it. Delete it in the morning.

 

If you find yourself wanted to pick up the phone.... walk away from it. Find something to do.... clean house if you have to.

 

You'll be ok.

 

Sending you huge cyber hugs !!!!

[silentalways]

i just checked online at a club called barrymore's and there is an amazing band that i do not want to miss but i don't want to go alone [does anyone? lol]

 

i wonder if the ex would like a ticket as a christmas present? i have no idea.

 

my question is do i buy 2 just in case, is there something really more delusional then that?

 

suggestions? i'm online with ticketmaster, finger twitching. lol

 

 

January 2007

date event location

Wed. Jan 17 Barrymore's Ottawa, ON

When the Angels Make Contact tour with special guest, Museum Pieces.

Tickets on sale Dec 1 (noon) at End Hits, at the Barrymore's Box office, through all Ticketmaster locations, by phoning (613) 755-1111 and online.

Doors at 8PM / 19+

Buy Tickets Online

[Shadows Light]

 

my question is do i buy 2 just in case, is there something really more delusional then that?

 

suggestions? i'm online with ticketmaster, finger twitching. lol

 

 

hmmmmm ... I've done that. Bought 2 tickets for a concert for an EX..... and then, I had to scramble to get a 'date' other than ex. what did I end up with??? eeeekkkk... an 18 year old roller coaster ride... and another "X".... DON'T DO IT.

 

Buy 2 tickets if you have a "friend" in mind to go with you. Don't buy it for the "X"....leave that alone.

 

DO.. go to the concert. Make NEW memories... keep on Livin.

[Dako]

These holidays are the worst.

I'm so frigging sick of the memories dredged up by Muzak and store displays I could gag. Luckily there's alcohol.

[deejay74]

hey redmage, i know how you feel. i have been thinking about my ex too but only about the xmas we spent last year. i am also coming up on the 1 year anniversary when my ex dumped me. so i am having conflicting emotions and thoughts right now. yeah, i know my ex wasn't really a great person and we did not leave things on a good note when we last spoke at the end of october. even so, i still remember the good times.

 

i, too, am being reminded of her and i always wanted/liked to have a GF on the holidays but this year i am single, like almost every xmas in my life. i have even thought about sending my ex a text on xmas just saying "merry xmas" but then i snap out of my temporary insanity!

 

but i am not going to let a measly holiday get me down. this whole year i had been in and out of sad emotions and i will be d*mned if i am going to end the year that way. 2005/2006 ended/began in such a horrible way that i don't want it to happen again. i am going back home to spend about a week there surrounded by my family and friends that i don't get to see that often. perhaps you can do the same? are there any people you can be with during this time?

 

if you're really serious about suicide, i would seek professional help IMMEDIATELY!!! seriously, that's not something to mess around with, especially around the holidays.

 

i hope you'll be alright.

[LONESOUL]

Hang in there Redmage22, the holidays do not last forever, you can get through it! It's good advice not to get sucked in to the sappy music

etc... keep busy. Dont think about ending it all~no one is worth your life.

You have a great life to look forward to, don't sell yourself short.

 

Take Good Care~post often

Lone

[strawberries789]

Redmage,

 

I feel how you do too. I actually have the Christmas 'blues' already (broke up with my ex 2 weeks ago). It makes it even harder since I don't have any family/friends to spend the holidays with (everyone is going away), and every Christmas I used to spend with my ex.

 

Although I don't suggest this to you or anyone else, this year I am not recognizing the holidays...I just can't...If I did I would go insane...I'm going to rent lots and lots of movies, get popcorn/pizza and just pretend its ummmm Labour Day.

 

Redmage, be strong! You can get through the holidays too (I think it will be one of the hardest days to get through).

 

Do you have any other family/friends to spend the holidays with? If you do, I think you should make a strong effort to plan something. Get your mind off of your ex. Please please, don't think of committing suicide. You are not alone. We are all in this together. Also, if you think that you may really get down and consider that, do you have the # of a distress centre in your state, that you can call?

 

Please post back and let us know how you are doing ok? We are here for you.

[Silentlyfor]

You guys are great, you know that? I'm ok and I'm doing much better now.

 

As for friends and family, I do have my mother to go see on Christmas Day. As well, that movie night sounds great!! Abating sadness and misery, however, is the task that I am the most weary of. But I don't think I'll do anything rash or irrevocable. I'll be fine if I stick to my guns.

 

I'll post back if anything changes.

[strawberries789]

Redmage...glad to hear that you are doing much better at this moment...

 

Feel free to post on Christmas day...I will be here...we can PM each other too ... BUT try to make some plans to occupy your day...I'll be watching movies

[ruby19]

I hear you. I just came back from Christmas shopping and everyone is out in couples and families buying presents together. And the Bay kept playing their Christmas theme music "you have made me so happy etc. etc." I almost started crying in the slipper section.

 

Hold on, rent the movies or do something Christmas Day. My father committed suicide shortly before Christmas 10 years ago and it's left a gaping hole in all our lives. If think your pain is unbearable try to think how much worse it would be for the people who love you to have you gone. Post here or call a hotline, but please don't take your life.

[strawberries789]

Redmage...ruby19 gives good advice...

 

I have banned myself from malls since I broke up with my ex...I refuse to go into any shopping mall until after January 2007...I just can't bear to watch all the people doing their shopping, the couples holding hands (or kissing), the christmas music, all the lights...I think I'm going to confine myself to home for a while and get lost in a whole bunch of movies (old movies, new movies, blockbuster movies, and some good independent films)

[LilPixie]

Oh man,

The christmas music in the malls. I actually started crying in the make-up section. The store was playing "Blue Christmas" and yeah....there I was.

I just miss him so much lately. It's been 6 months. NC for 5.

I feel like it's getting worst instead of better. Maybe after Christmas .....

[stunned]

The holidays can be bad at the best of times. When you're been through a traumatic loss, like a breakup, they stink. I think we'll all be glad when it's Jan. 2, 2007.

 

For those who may not be able to be with their families in person, I hope you can reach out to family by phone or email. [i did stumble accross this site that will let you make a free 5 minute phone call; I tried it and it does work (put your # and the # you want to call in the boxes under "Make a free trial call"--use international dialing format--00+1+area code+7-digit phone number), but it may be swamped on Christmas Day. I thought I'd post it for those who can't be with their families in person. [i]link removed ][/i]

[sandyv]

I will also be alone for Christmas, the first time in my life, everyone has somewhere to go, but oh well, like someone said previously theres always alcohol...... watch movies........

[stunned]

Time for us to organize an online Christmas party! Drinking when one's sad isn't good, nor is dwelling on losses. I say that anyone who is lonely during the day (and it will probably include most of us) should come to ENA and post. Lots of off topic, humorous posts would be great to lift the spirits. Let's try and keep each others spirits up! Come on, guys. We can see the positive in this. We have a whole online group of friends that we can reach out to and with whom we can spend part of the day. I for one will come to ENA throughout the day. Heck, I'll even take my digital camera on my trip to the new friend's house and take some photos of the snow-covered mountains here and then post them when I get back home and online. We can all share various parts of our day. What do you say?

[Vynde]

Its a great idea.

 

You can count me in

[strawberries789]

stunned...you can count me in too (i will post occasionally on the site on xmas)...since i had planned to spend the holidays with my ex, I didn't make any other plans and now everyone is busy doing their own things...i have no family/friends to spend it with...and my sister (who might be coming home for the holidays) and I don't get along at all...and recently (as soon as I broke up with my ex) have found that she is not being supportive of me at all (she always hated my ex) but I am just finding her to be really cruel to me (i.e. picks fights with me and makes me feel even worse than I already do by telling me that my ex never loved me and that I should open up my ears to the truth)

 

am feeling a bit depressed today and finding it really hard to concentrate on my studying for exams...

 

luv u guys though...

 

P.S. i am not experiencing the "lovesick" diet...rather the opposite...i am eating things that I don't want to eat...eating when i'm not even hungry...eating and nothing even tastes good...but i just keep eating and eating ...

[sandyv]

Hey I will be dropping by for xmas, sounds good, not soo lonely

[stunned]

Great, the more the merrier. I plan on stopping by throughout the day. I will out of the house for a bit, but I promise to get some digital photos of lovely mountains while I'm out and post them online when I get back home. This could be quite a long celebration since we have members in so many different time zones.

 

Hang in there everyone. We'll get through these stressful times together. Hopefully, we'll have some fun, chuckles and laughs while helping each other. Remember, no one needs to be alone on Christmas Day. Come here to ENA and party with us.

 

Strawberries, sorry about your sister. I hope your concentraton returns soon. Even though it was long ago, I remember studying for exams and you certainly don't need to be distracted by thoughts of your ex and/or the breakup. Good luck hitting the books.

[Silentlyfor]

I'm on board, too. Just because we don't have anyone in our arms doesn't mean we can't still spend time with each other. We can not only get THROUGH the holidays, but mabey even have fun.

 

Right now I"m listening to Shakesphere. I'm good for a few days. Gotta love your local library.

[Silentlyfor]

Everyone still doing alright?

[strawberries789]

Hey Redmage,

 

I'm so-so...not too great today I think the fact that I'm in the middle of my exams is somehow keeping me together...I know when they end I will completely fall apart.

 

How are you feeling today? Did you have a chance to make any plans for the holidays?

 

I already know that I will be mourning the loss of my ex during the holidays especially on x-mas day when we had our tradition of spending it together...but to complicate things my critical sister is coming to town and I know that this will make me go right down into the drains....

 

Sorry guys...I'm feeling really blue today

 

The rollercoaster ride I am on seems to be so turbulent right now and my feelings of calm vs. anger seem to be more frequent and shorter time in between...

[sandyv]

Hey sorry to butt in y'all but Im in the same boat as you all are, and it sucks,, not looking forward to Xmas,,,, tooo sad.... but what can you do rite?

 

I miss my ex, but I can't keep beating myself up over him..... who knows what our exe's are thinking.... but we can be one step ahead of them... screw em.... basically, I know thats pretty cold.... but its called "self preservation" and we can, and WE WILL do it!!!!!

 

BTW : Hi Stunned, haven't talked to you in a bit, did you hear about william55? aww... omg