cutting again but worse

[girl friend]

End of pg 9 i meant sorry

[lil_baby_girl]

Carving? What've you been doing?

im started carving my gfs name in my skin i also carving swear words in my skin to and the word baby. but i still cut but now im doiing both cutting and carving, now that im losing all ways to talk to my gf and best friend.

its basically tracing these emotions that cause cutting right back to their origins

so is kinda like talking about wat emotions causeing my cutting right?

You'll have to talk about your past tho

i dont mind talking about my past as long as it might help me to stop cuting.

I know you can stop hun, always here for you

thanks

[girl friend]

The scars that carving will leave are seriously undesirable hun, lets try not to get into that cycle ok?

 

Right, yes you were right, it is where you talk about what emotions cause your cutting, and then look to see where those emotions came from earlier in life.

 

Can i just ask, you said you cant talk to your gf and best friend, is that two separate people? And is it because of your parents that you cant speak her?

 

 

Btw, the methods to stop cutting that i use when working with people, have helped a lot of people, but that doesn't mean they'll be right for you. We just need to find the right way. So if you can think of anything that might work for you, let me know and we can work on it together.

 

*Hugs* xxx

[lil_baby_girl]

lets try not to get into that cycle ok?

ok.

is that two separate people?

yes it is two separate ppl but they both kinda want to be my gf,

is it because of your parents that you cant speak her

its kinda because of my parents, im losing my intornet soon i dont know wen but im going to lose it. and i have already had the phone turned off so i cant talk to them on the phone and soon i wont be able to talk to them online ether.

it is where you talk about what emotions cause your cutting, and then look to see where those emotions came from earlier in life.

ok

[girl friend]

Alright kid.

 

Just a quick note, i'll come on later on to get back to this cutting. I just want to know, why are you losing your internet? (parents i'm guessing, but why i mean.) And will you still be able to access this site from somewhere else if you do?

[girl friend]

Its just that i think we're working well together on this, and the techniques we're about to get started on are lengthy, and it would be a shame if you were cut off while we were in the middle of working on it.

[lil_baby_girl]

why are you losing your internet?

my parents did not pay the bill.

And will you still be able to access this site from somewhere else if you do?

i don't know probably not.

it would be a shame if you were cut off while we were in the middle of working on it.

ya it would my intonets only Sposato be off for a few weeks from what my parents say.

[girl friend]

Oh ok, well then at least you'll get it back then.

 

You want me to personal message you some other ways of contacting me?

[girl friend]

Are you having problems with your parents these days hun?

[lil_baby_girl]

You want me to personal message you some other ways of contacting me?

sure, i might not be able to get on this web but i can get online if there is another way to contacting you it would be cool.

Are you having problems with your parents these days hun?

im always having problems with my parents well at lest for the past yr or so anyways.

[girl friend]

Well if you can't use the internet the only thing i can think is i could give you my mobile (cellphone) number, or could write letters?

 

I'm sorry your parents cause you so many problems sweetheart, you do know it's not your fault right? How is it going atm?

[lil_baby_girl]

Well if you can't use the internet

i can use the Internet but only on the weekends (wen I'm at my friends house) and i can not get one this sit. but i could email u. if u have an email address

you do know it's not your fault right?

sometime a question that,

How is it going atm?

what does atm stand for?

[NKP]

atm = At the moment

[lil_baby_girl]

thanks lost&broken.

[lil_baby_girl]

How is it going atm?

its going ok im kinda happy right now because im talking to my gf and my best friend so ya.

[girl friend]

Alright, just let me figure out how to send personal messages... lol

 

So, basically you're down when you can't speak to them? Why do your parents ban it?

[girl friend]

Ok sent you a personal message

 

Hey hey hey, sometimes you question that?? Why? How could the behavior of adults possibly be a kids fault?

 

Always here for you

*Hugs* xxx

[lil_baby_girl]

So, basically you're down when you can't speak to them?

ya pretty much.

Why do your parents ban it?

because I'm bisexual and there lesbians and my parents don't think its right for me to have friends that are not straight, even if i was straight they would still ban it,

How could the behavior of adults possibly be a kids fault?

my parents did not act like this befor i toled them the turth about me being bisexual somtime i think if i would have never toled them then things would still be the same as they onse were.

[girl friend]

If you hadn't told them, you would still feel the way you do about your sexuality though. It is a shame they can't accept you for being who you are, which is their child no matter what. Its not your fault though. For sure.

 

What happened when you've talked to them about it?

[lil_baby_girl]

What happened when you've talked to them about it?

they just gave me on evil look and for one full week they acted like it never happed but then i got a gf and i started talking about her alot thats wen the realized it really happed and after that it all went down hill from there.

[girl friend]

How do they treat you now? Do you believe they still love you? Do you still love them? Is there anything you could say?

 

*Hugs* xxx

[lil_baby_girl]

How do they treat you now?

im pretty much ingored from my family the only on that really talk to me anymore is my lil sister.

Do you believe they still love you?

yes i do beleave somwere in there hearts they still love me because somtimes wen they see my cut or my scars my mom will start to cry and my dad well have this really hurt look in hes eyes

Do you still love them?

yes i still love my family even tho i could live with out them i still love them.

Is there anything you could say?

the only thing i could say to make everything better is if i toled my parents it was just a faze i went throw and im not really bi, and then after saying that i would have to prove it somhow or another.

[girl friend]

Aww hon, it wouldn't be right or fair to you to have to pretend to be someone else for their love.

 

The only thing i can suggest would be to sit down with them and tell them how it makes you feel that they can't accept you for who you are. Although i appreciate you must have already tried anything you could. What do you think?

[lil_baby_girl]

What do you think?

parents well only listen to me if i am talking about chores,

[girl friend]

Oh ok, i'm sorry about that. You know your situation better than i do. if talking to them is not a possibility, then i suggest we move onto regression.

 

 

We basically need to start at the beginning, and go through your life, anything at all that you think might have made you feel bad, or low, or triggered cutting. Start as early on as possible, and write a little bit each day. And i'll ask you about your feelings about these events, and try to piece together how things got this bad. It sounds long and drawn out, but it is usually very helpful in the process of stopping cutting. You just got to trust me ok?

 

*Hugs* xxx