cutting again but worse

[lil_baby_girl]

are you cutting less at all?

not really i went the one day with out cutting and then i went back.

[girl friend]

Ok hun

 

Back to doing it how often and how bad? And how do you hide it?

And if you could identify the emotions you feel both before and after doing it, that could help us move forwards.

 

*Hugs* xxx

[lil_baby_girl]

Back to doing it how often

well i guess u could say im doing a lil bit better because i cutting like every 2 or 3 hr in stand of every hr,

and how bad?

its only enought to berry brake the skin,

if you could identify the emotions you feel both before and after

latly most of my emtions are the same sad deprssed the feeling everyone around me hate me, the feeling no one wants me around anymore and the feeling that i dont fit in any were i go, but after i cut those same feelings are still there there just not as strong as befor.

[girl friend]

Hey Hey thats a big improvement sweetie, you've come so far.

 

Sheesh hon, my instincts want to tell you that thats not true (that everyone around you hates you), but i dont know enough about your home life to say that, although i'm sure its not true. If it is, all i can tell you is that it wont always be like that. You seem like a real amazing, and very strong, cool person, and one day you'll be able to create your own family.

 

You sound as though you know that the cutting doesn't actually help, at least not now tho, because you said the feelings are still there afterwards.

 

What worked for you when you stopped cutting in the past?

 

Always here fore you

*Hugs* xxx

[girl friend]

Hey hun are you doing ok?

 

*Hugs* xxx

[lil_baby_girl]

What worked for you when you stopped cutting in the past?

i really dont remember i think it was just the fact that my ex gf toled me that if i did not stop she was going to leave me so i stand busy all the time i would clean 24/7 pretty much.

Hey hun are you doing ok?

ya i kinda im doing ok

[girl friend]

Ok then, lets look at that one day last week when you didn't cut at all. Do you know how you did it?

 

Also, here's something that may work. Aim to do another full day. Plan out every single hour of that day, the day before. Include what time you will get up, what time you will go to bed, homework, lessons, shopping, etc whatever ok, and plan consciously not to cut at all that day. Then stick to the routine the day after. Don't be too unrealistic on yourself btw, making it the whole day would be very hard, but you might find it helps you to get through the day using cutting less.

 

I do have faith in you, and at this point, i think you can make it now. I wouldn't suggest it if i didn't believe that at this point, i think you can do it. You are real strong hon.

 

Pick a day in advance, and please give it a try. What do you think?

Let me know

 

*Hugs*

xxx

[lil_baby_girl]

Do you know how you did it?

no the only thing i remember about what i did that day was talk to my gf on the phone but she lost her phone.

What do you think?

i think thats a good idea but i can never keep on a scedule, i could try but i dont know if its going to work.

[girl friend]

Tryings the only thing you can do sweetie, what you don't realise is how amazing it is that you want to try, and that you are actively talking with us on here, and trying to change this. But yes, please give it a try, tomorrow maybe? Or whenever you're ready.

 

Always here for you hon.

*Hugs* xxx

[girl friend]

Hey hon, are you ok?

 

*Hugs* xxx

[lil_baby_girl]

please give it a try, tomorrow maybe? Or whenever you're ready

i tryed to do the schedule thing and it did not work i tryed it 2 deferent days and it did not work i still ended up cutting.

Hey hon, are you ok?

ya I'm ok, beside the fact that i starting to think that I'm never going to be able to give up cutting i have reallied on it for to long.

[NKP]

It takes time, just hold on.

 

You say you cut every few hours, how about go for a walk, do sit ups or push ups, if you do it for a while it starts to hurt and can get really painful, how bout try that, see if that works for you

[lil_baby_girl]

how about go for a walk, do sit ups or push ups

its to clod to go for a walk but sit ups or push ups sould like a good idea. i might try that. but its hard to do that wen ur upset because sometime wen i get upset i act befor i think about it.

[NKP]

Yeah i know what you mean. Just think tho sit ups or push ups means to yukky scars, and sit ups was what stoped me from cutting

[girl friend]

Hmm, i can't help feeling sceptical about that 'lost&broken' i mean doing anything else that will cause pain but not scar is still self-harm, so it wont really help in the long run. Also, when your upset to the point of cutting you often feel too weak to do something angry like exercise.

 

 

Righteo lil_baby_girl, first of all thank you for trying, that was very strong. We will get there, theres other things we can try yet. (Incidentally, did you cut any less at all on the days with the schedule?)

 

 

And don't think like that 'that you'll never be able to give up cutting.' You will. You really really want to, and you're trying these things, that makes you further than half-way there!!!!

 

Ok, the regression technique (Or as i fondly call it 'The Time Travel Technique') We've already talked about your past in some detail, although we will probably need to go there again at some point. For now tho, i want you to focus on the future. Imagine yourself in 10 years time. Do you have a partner? kids? pets? job? is it happy? and above all, do you really see cutting as a part of that?

 

 

Listen, we'll get there sweetie, just don't put too much pressure on yourself. I'm always here for you

*Hugs* xxx

[NKP]

Yes i know its still selfharm. But hey its better than cutting, I use to cut and i know i needed to stop, so i got rid of my blades and would just do sit ups from then on, i didnt do it for a long time, i did it til i could stop thinking about cutting and it worked, i no longer cut

[girl friend]

Good for you.

 

You're assuming several things tho:

 

a) That everyone consciously knows when they are going to do it/or that they are about to.

b) That people have the energy to exercise instead of cut, when often it is a drained and tired mood which precedes cutting.

c) That people would be able to stop doing your exercises, because obviously it would not be helpful in the long run as a mere replacement.

d) That it is just a habit that needs changing, without careful examination of the past to prevent it re-occurring.

 

Now, may i get back to talking to lil_baby_girl without exchanging methods? lmao

 

 

Lil_baby_girl

Hey, you alright kiddo? How's it been going?

[lil_baby_girl]

Just think tho sit ups or push ups means to yukky scars

ya they would cose pain with no scars and that would be cool. i might just give it a try i at the point were i will try just about anything to stop cutting.

[lil_baby_girl]

when your upset to the point of cutting you often feel too weak to do something angry like exercise

somtimes wen im upset and want to cut i would go for a run instand of cutting but leatly its been to cold here, but somtime i do have energy and i could alest try it,

did you cut any less at all on the days with the schedule?)

not really i kinda cut more i think it was because i was so welling to do every thing on my schedule and the time it said and it was just really strass full for me.

And don't think like that 'that you'll never be able to give up cutting.' You will. You really really want to, and you're trying these things,

its hard not to think that i will never give up cutting because evey think i have tryed has ether work for a lil while and stoped or has not work at all.

Do you have a partner? kids? pets? job? is it happy? and above all, do you really see cutting as a part of that?

yes i have a partner and yes i have kids and pets and a job its kinda happy, and yes i do see cutting in my future but its ok onse in a while its not all the time.

Listen, we'll get there sweetie,

u really think i will stop cutting?

[lil_baby_girl]

c) That people would be able to stop doing your exercises, because obviously it would not be helpful in the long run as a mere replacement.

well if u do the exercises for a long time it might help because it might be come a habit just like cutting just a habit.

you alright kiddo?

ya I'm alright.

How's it been going?

its been going ok, i have a question tho, whats the deferents between cutting and carving?

[girl friend]

Wow... online together at the same time! Whoot!

[lil_baby_girl]

online together at the same time! Whoot!

thats cool were online at the same time lol

[girl friend]

Damm musta just missed you.

 

Righteo, i'll try to answer your questions hon... sheesh you had a lot of quotes there!

 

Ok yeah sure try the exercise thing if you want to... i was just cautious because i have known similar methods to lead to further problems such as obsessions, eating disorders, etc... Also picking up a replacement habit is not such a good idea... what if for some reason you couldn't go out for a run, when you'd learned to depend on it. You'd have to cut then. Thats why i think its best for us to get work on losing the cutting itself.

 

 

Ah... I'm sorry about the schedule thing then, i certainly didn't want it to be stressful for you. But thank you for trying, and i know a lot of thin

 

 

So what else have you tried that didn't work? And i know its hard now, but please try not to think so negatively. It'll be ok, we'll get there. You're strong.

 

 

Hmm do you really think that it will be ok to cut once in a while in that future? What if your kids saw you? How would it make your partner feel? You need to know that you need to stop, and now. If you've got the view that its ok for it to still be there in 10 years, that will be making this stopping so much harder sweetie.

 

 

Ok the difference between cutting and carving: cutting is basically with a blade/knife/many other objects opening the skin and causing bleeding, but the cuts could appear accidental, and usually have no pattern or continuity. Carving is usually writing something or drawing pictures with the blade into your skin, maybe trying to fashion tattoos. It usually goes a lot deeper, and is a form of self-mutilation.

 

 

And finally your question "u really think i will stop cutting?"

 

Yes! I do hon. Of course i do, you've come so far already. You want to talk about it and ask for help. Your trying out the things i tell you. You're trusting me. And you've clearly got a lot more problems, a great deal of pain in your past, and present, and you are so strong. I know you're gonna get there. If i honestly believed you weren't going to stop, why would i have talked to you for so long? If there was no point i might as well just give you tips on how to do it without scaring like some of the earlier posts seemed intent on doing. I know you'll be ok hun, we'll work through it together.

At the same time, please dont let it stress you out that we're talking. I mean i wouldn't want you to feel guilty if techniques we try don't work. Its not your fault.

 

 

Anyways, to sum up my essay, lol, i wanted to know what failed for you in the past? And if its alright with you we'll get started on Regression. Alright kid?

 

Night Night hug

xxx

[lil_baby_girl]

So what else have you tried that didn't work?

i have tired ice, rubber band, lost of other but i cant remember i have tryed so many of them.

but please try not to think so negatively

i will try hard not to.

do you really think that it will be ok to cut once in a while in that future?

no i dont think its well be ok.

What if your kids saw you?

ya i know thats kinda what im scarred of,

How would it make your partner feel?

i think she would feel sad and hurt by it like she is now,

Ok the difference between cutting and carving: cutting is basically with a blade/knife/many other objects opening the skin and causing bleeding, but the cuts could appear accidental, and usually have no pattern or continuity. Carving is usually writing something or drawing pictures with the blade into your skin, maybe trying to fashion tattoos. It usually goes a lot deeper, and is a form of self-mutilation.

thank you im glad i know the diffents now but it kinda makes it a lil hardler for me because im startied to caving

why would i have talked to you for so long?

ya thats ture i guess u would not have talk to me if u did not beleave i could stop.

please dont let it stress you out that we're talking. I mean i wouldn't want you to feel guilty if techniques we try don't work. Its not your fault.

i will try not to let it sterss me out.

i wanted to know what failed for you in the past?

im not sure what u mean by what had failed for me in the past.

Regression

im not sure what that word means sorry.

[girl friend]

Hey hun

 

Listen, the things that were suggested to you before, the rubber bands, ice, exercise, its not a good idea. Like i was saying, it is just replacing the self-harm. But we can get you out of it, ok hun

 

Carving? What've you been doing?

 

Right regression is what i was talking about at the end of pg 8, (i think) its basically tracing these emotions that cause cutting right back to their origins, then dealing with it from there. Then you don't need to cut. You'll have to talk about your past tho, if you want to try this method. And it will be very emotionally straining. But it is often very successful.

 

 

I know you can stop hun, always here for you.

 

*Hugs* xxx