Help me find a solution

[InLoveWithAlex]

Alex and I met in a game.. we talked a lot there but, we talked more outside the game.. we became close, i knew things about him not many ppl would know.. about his family, his mother, his friends.. how he is..

 

2 months ago, Alex told me he had feelings for me.. feelings he had for me for the last year or so.. he never told before..

 

but, that night.. he did.. and it made me really happy because.. i was feeling the same for him..

We said.. "lets meet real soon" and i said ok.. ill see when I can go..

 

He live 6h away from me.. Me Canada, him USA..

Not too bad!

 

So.. I manage to go see him, we call and text everyday.. from that night till "the day".. saying how we wanna meet and be together.. how we love each other.. we text about our lives.. like school was good, im going out, im at the bar..

and also call as often as we can but, its expensive so we dont do it a lot..

 

so.. "The" day.. I drive to the border and.. my birth certificate is too old.. i have to go back to Canada get a new one.. i call him and he say "it's ok love, come next week" and i am happy to plan it again..

 

So, we call and text, I call him tuesday.. we hang up and say "I love you" he say "I love you too"

 

And.....

 

He text me the next say "You wont be able to come i am going home" and i say "ok when should i go then" he say "dont come" and i am like "ok and to what? not go this week or dont go ever, what about us?" and he say "no to all" and I say "whats going on" he say "its better that way" and I am like.. well can we call tonight? he say no im going out tonight.. and then im like, ok Alex.. let me know when you wanna talk.. ill wait for you to have time.....

 

..

 

That night i texted his best friend Carlos..

I ask Carlos.. what happened? Talk to Alex! he say he dont wanna meet me!!

 

And, Carlos talk to him and then Carlos talk to me..

 

He say: "With college and all, Alex is about to be kicked out cause of his grades, he told you not to come because he is affraid you will see him that way and he dont want you to.. i think he is affraid of the long distance relationship too..."

 

I don't hear from Alex for 1 month till.. 5 days ago..

He is on msn.. (I know he is home because his PC at the college is broken)

He say "Hi"

and i say.. Hi Alex..

he asked me.. How are you? and im.. hm not bad you? and he tell me he got kicked out of college cause of his grades.. that he is now home.. and we talk.. and.. we still have that connection we had.. we just dont do the "couple" thing but.. we talk and things are ok, we laugh a lot..

 

Then, we talk the next day.. then don't talk for 2 days.. and we talked today..

 

I don't know what to think..

He is affraid, but.. what should i do?

Ask him out?

Don't say anything? wait?

 

He backed off like, 3 days before we meet..

Scared?

 

I still love him, never stopped..

[MyNinja]

Talking to someone you've never met before can carry tons of unpredictable attitudes. True, he might be afraid and nervous, or maybe he's just not ready to try the long distance relationship thing just yet. If you really think about it....it is kind of scary! you just never know what might happen...I get the feeling that he's just not ready for this..talk to him about it when you get the chance.

[rikka]

The way I see it, you don't have many options. He doesn't want a relationship, so you have to resepct his wishes. Don't push him, that isn't fair.

 

It sounds like he got cold feet at the last minute (which sucks, I know, but it happens.). But then again, it sounds like he has a lot going on in his life right now and perhaps the stress of a long distance relationship was the last thing he needed. It is probably a good thing that he backed out before you two met, it makes it easier.

 

Respect his wishes and give him space. If you cannot remain platonic friends (that means no hidden agenda hoping that the two of you will get back together) then leave him be.

[InLoveWithAlex]

Thank you for your answers..

I agree with both of you on this..

 

I agree that I cannot force him and I don't want to either..

 

Maybe it's me who can't see things..

And I have been thinking a lot about it lately..

 

Like you said he got cold feet.. scared.. and with school.. other stuff too.. he wanted to concentrate on it..

He know i understand that..

 

I wanna talk to him but.. I don't know what to say..

I never was good at finding the right words..

 

I saw him online on msn the last days and I so wanna message him and talk to him..

text him..

 

Last we talked, well i was helping him install a game on his PC so he can come play with me and his friends. It didnt worked and we tried to find solutions.. then he had to leave..

Next day he messaged me and we tried stuff..

But then he lost patience and he said.. i dont wanna play anymore i got other stuff to do then try to figure this thing out.. (i know him, thats what he do when loose patience.. like **edit** it! i dont need it!)

 

He said i dont time or energy to work on that thing.. and i said.. you say that something drain you, like a bad thing.. you ok?

 

he said, "not really but its ok, don't worry about it"

 

and i said.. "you know you can talk to me if you want.. if you need let me know"

 

and he said "k"

 

i dunno what to do.. i worry a lot for him..

which is normal cause i love him..

 

so i give him space..

but in the same time if i dont talk to him he will go away no?

 

What should i say to him about the "us" thing..