what goes through the male mind, curious

[barbielovesmac]

You've got a beautiful, fun, intelligent, mature, easy-going, optomistic, caring, charismatic ( and so forth ) girlfriend around your arm right? So what makes you want to stray? What makes you want to hurt someone, something so fragile, someone who has done nothing but care for you? It may not me intenitonal; the hurt but still why?

 

Im just curious to get inside ... thanks guys

[TheRedQueen]

Well, what can I say, some guys are * * * * *s with the emotional maturity of a grapefruit.

 

This "hypothetical" man that you speak of, sounds a lot like an ex of mine. Guys like these are a complete waste of space as well as a complete waste of our time.

[melrich]

Well, what can I say, some guys are * * * * *s with the emotional maturity of a grapefruit.

 

How dare you insult the noble grapefruit!! For your information it is and remains one of my favourite fruits and I am firmly of the opinion that it is generally one of the more sensible fruits.

 

You should really put more thought into your posts before making such a rash generalisation!!!!

[CynicalGuitarist]

Why? Because some people just aren't thankful for what they have. Most guys are like that. There are a few out there that aren't, but most of them are in hiding because of ungreatful swine that make the whole rest of us look like dogs. Oh well, that's life for ya.

[healinginnyc81]

I've never cheated, so I can't fully explain why someone would. But I can guess that it does have something to do with being ungrateful as CynicalGuitarist said. It probably comes from taking for granted what you already have (which seems to be a human tendency - to become spoiled after having something for a while, and focus on what we don't have rather than what we have), and also from wanting things that are forbidden.

 

maybe there's more to it, like feeling unfulfilled in a relationship in some small aspect but not overall, or maybe just feeling bound/repressed and wanting to break away for just a moment.

 

could be lots of crazy reasons, but most of all, there's probably an overall lack of reasoning going on when people cheat.

[mikeca]

well, never cheated, I know I never will. Never had it done to be but pretty close, the feeling I had was unbearable. I too must go with (girls/guys) become unappreciative of the things we have and dont appreciate them.

 

so...

 

why do girls who have a sweet caring loyal easygoing fun mature loving piece of meat such as myself tend to leave ?

 

answer mine

[Clementine orange]

You've got a beautiful, fun, intelligent, mature, easy-going, optomistic, caring, charismatic ( and so forth ) girlfriend around your arm right?

 

Some men have difficulties dealing with perfection!

[Dako]

LOL!

 

Yes, this seems mostly about a certain woman, not the man.

Does this woman feel a sense of entitlement for being so attractive?

Maybe the man feels like a fashion accessory. Maybe the lady is one of a series of trophies to him.

Maybe he met someone he likes better. Maybe he's a complete putz.

I'd ask him. He holds the key.

[barbielovesmac]

 

so...

 

why do girls who have a sweet caring loyal easygoing fun mature loving piece of meat such as myself tend to leave ?

 

answer mine

 

I've never left a male that you've described because i've NEVER met one!

[barbielovesmac]

Some men have difficulties dealing with perfection!

 

This is what my ex said, he said he has something so perfect that it scared him. He said it didn't feel real, so he didn't know what to do. So he acted out. It still doesn't explain.

[Clementine orange]

Some men have difficulties dealing with perfection!

 

It was intended to be a statement of irony, Perhaps your ex meant it that way too.

[barbielovesmac]

I don't like men. But I love them at the same time.

[gfein347]

barbiegurl:

 

It's quite a coincidence you asked this today, I just got done reading an article about it. I'm a guy, and I couldn't understand either why some guys cheat. The thought has never even crossed my mind, and I think those that cheat in relationships are despicable. Hope the article helps, the link is below:

 

link removed

[barbielovesmac]

I just finished reading the article. It's a good article and points out some pretty good points. I agree most the the paragraph "to get attention."

 

I know that me being in a female with a male who makes me nothing but happy, I don't even think about straying. I dont think I will ever understand because I find myself asking myself this question from time to time.

 

Thank you for the article! It's some good insight!

[TheRedQueen]

I don't like men. But I love them at the same time.

I know what you mean girl, I don't like men, but I hunger for them still.

 

Hmm, I wonder if such urges should ultimately be ignored.

[barbielovesmac]

I love all the opinions and point of views. It's really delightul = ]

[Aschleigh]

I just broke up with a guy who told me I was the best thing that ever happened to him yet he needed to see other people. Which he had been doing for some time before he told me.

I know I spoiled him so good, I loved him with my whole being , that when the newness of those girls he stupposidy needs to see wears off, he will remember our time and miss it. I did my very best, loved him uncondictionally and he pissed it all away.

They hurt themselves ultimatley, we can move onto someone much better.

[barbielovesmac]

I just broke up with a guy who told me I was the best thing that ever happened to him yet he needed to see other people. Which he had been doing for some time before he told me.

I know I spoiled him so good, I loved him with my whole being , that when the newness of those girls he stupposidy needs to see wears off, he will remember our time and miss it. I did my very best, loved him uncondictionally and he pissed it all away.

They hurt themselves ultimatley, we can move onto someone much better.

 

Wow, that is exactly what happened to me and my ex. It's like once I was gone he wanted me and he wanted me more then he had ever wanted me before. I don't see why distance makes the heart grow fond.

[caro33]

Just a chase thing though isn't it? Some people like the chase. Once the drama has gone, the guessing, the gameplaying, they aren't interested anymore.

 

That first period of time in a relationship is intoxicating though. All fun but no real risk of loss, no boring everyday things, all the possibilities you can imagine. Your basic flawed person doesn't stack up well compared to the fantasy sometimes.

 

Complete that with a desire to keep seeing people, to not settle down yet, and then it makes no difference what the girl/guy is like.

 

So what i'm saying barbie is that maybe it doesn't matter if you're perfect, it's not actually about you. It's about the ex thinking, 'hey this would be perfect if I wanted a relationship, but the thing is, I don't'. It's about what he wants, and what he wants is not just one woman, with all the relationship stuff that entails.

 

Not that I am saying cheating is okay, I think it's unacceptable but is the immature person's response to the above.

[barbielovesmac]

I get your point. But we weren't even together but a month!!

[caro33]

I get your point. But we weren't even together but a month!!

 

But that's probably about enough time for the initial thrill to wear off, and for them to start to find the 'new' thrill with someone else tempting.

 

I added a line to my last post re cheating is still wrong and I guess I'd restate that here also.

 

The thing that sucks with these situations is that you are led on to believe that the person is willing and capable to manage a relationship in ways that they just aren't. False advertising I say!

[barbielovesmac]

He didn't cheat on me, but I think it would've led to it if I wouldn't have broke up with him.

 

When your boyfriend tells you he has feelings for someone else, then it's like WHOA! What the heck was I doing wrong when and hour ago I was your everything. It's like a big slap in the face.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The thing that sucks with these situations is that you are led on to believe that the person is willing and capable to manage a relationship in ways that they just aren't. False advertising I say!

 

I agree there!!!

[caro33]

When your boyfriend tells you he has feelings for someone else, then it's like WHOA! What the heck was I doing wrong when and hour ago I was your everything. It's like a big slap in the face.

 

That's the thing that is so perverse but understandable. When this happens we assume we have all the information, and that the shift in the other person's behaviour must be because we did something wrong, or because we are maybe unlovable and the other person just worked it out.

 

But I think that a lot of the time we have it wrong - we never had all the information. The other person wasn't who we thought they were, they may never have been up for what they said they were up for. God only knows what was going on, what forces we were competing with that we had no idea about.

[barbielovesmac]

But I think that a lot of the time we have it wrong - we never had all the information. The other person wasn't who we thought they were, they may never have been up for what they said they were up for. God only knows what was going on, what forces we were competing with that we had no idea about.

 

That last note made a lot of sense to me. That person may not be who we thought they were. Thank you! Very wise!

[selfi]

at least you got to dump HIM (positive outlook prehaps?)