good-looking ppl

[canuckhead]

just wondering, but do good-looking ppl usually have longer lasting relationships? or get treated better during their relationships? i mean, it sounds shallow, but my friends got this gf whos a real ...but he treats her too well...his ex was much nicer, yet they didn't last nor did he treat her as well. it seems ppl put up with more if the other person is "hot". agree?

[CarnelianButterfly]

Nope, its a shallow reason to date someone or to stay with them.

[Ellie2006]

I agree w/ CB; maybe this is a silly analogy, but if that were the case, wouldn't Hollywood be full of happy marriages??

Just my two cents ...

[TheRedQueen]

Sadly, this doesn't shock me, why? Because I myself have witnessed countless men go daffy over "hot chicks".

 

Yes people are shallow, but many men tend to be wading in the kiddy pool.

[dil]

Look at my attachement.

 

That's me.

 

I've only dated once in my entire life, that should pretty much sum up any position on how looks affect dating.

 

-outgoing people are about a billion times more sucessful than me.

[rose2summer]

Well, I think it's either a situation of:

 

1) Do the people match as a pair and they end up having a long-term relationship because they possess a great deal of commonalities.

 

or

 

2) The couple sticks together despite problems and differences, but it may be motivated by additional factors such as finances, children, etc.

 

I don't think that good looking people have it particularly easier, look at models, they deal with all sorts of problems just like us, I think it's just a bit easier for those that fall into scenario 1 versus 2, but many of us will end up in 2 and that's why we are on ENA.

 

Hugs, Rose

[caro33]

I do think that SOME people make concessions for bad behaviour because of looks, so that person who really values having some hot eye-candy on their arm when they go out may well not have high standards for intellectual conversation, sense of humour, politeness etc. I know someone at the moment who is putting up with some awful stuff from his g'f and the fact that she's considered hot by others probably is a factor for why he stays there, as well as not wanting to be alone.

 

But I think it's no different from any of the factors of a relationship that people value when they see someone. Other people stay in relationships with partners who don't fulfil them intellectually but they make them laugh, or they cook for them, or they're great in bed. Depends what you value. I guess a number of people get their self-worth from having a good-looking partner.

 

But to take Ellie's point, it's not everyone. Look at Halle Berry, look at all the other gorgeous people who get treated badly by their SOs.

 

Perhaps in some instances the longevity of good-looking people's relationships are even shorter, as the people in the relationship are only there for looks, and looks fade, people get bored, people get replaced...

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

All you have to do is ask Halle Barry, Jen Anniston, Nicole Kidman, Paula Abduhl, John Stamos, Jessica Simpson Britney Spears or Heather Mills just to mention a few beautiful people.

 

Being good looking doesn't mean their SO's treat them any better, in some cases I suspect it's worse for them because of their SO's preconceived notions or insecurities.

[pinkelephant]

One of my bestfriends is HOT. I'm not just saying it because she's my bestfriend. Most people would agree. She walks into a room and guys basically drop their jaws and drool.

 

She actually has a hard time trying to find guys that treat her well/makes her happy. Eventhough everyguy in my school would die to be with her.

 

I'm not particularly hot. Maybe average in general. But I've only dated guys that treat me well. By well, I mean with lots of respect and care. I don't have low standards, either. Only one guy haven't treated me well out of like 10.

 

Then again, another bestfriend of mine is VERY pretty. & She gets treated very well, too.

 

So in conclusion, I'd have to say it all depends.

Looks are one thing, but I think it has much to do with personality.

[Momene]

Some (for example my wife, sister-in-law and mother-in-law) claim I am exceptionally good looking. Others have said it too but most girls walk past me and don't notice. I honestly believe that how my wife perceives my looks is one reason she chose to date me and what motivates her for us to stay together. My wife is good looking, too, and looks younger than girls of her age, even the nice looking ones.

 

Objectively, I am 51 and overweight but I do look young and have been mistaken for being in my 30s and I am tall with blue eyes, both attributes that many women like in men.

 

You can be good looking but shyness and immaturity are a handicap. If your partner percieves you as good looking, they will get jealous of you being anywhere near anyone of the opposite sex. My wife was quite obsessive about this when we first met and so was an ex-girlfriend.

 

One thing that is worth thinking about is that being good looking does not necessarily equate with being good in bed. Many people (including me) who have slept with good looking people have ended up feeling disappointed.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

One thing that is worth thinking about is that being good looking does not necessarily equate with being good in bed. Many people (including me) who have slept with good looking people have ended up feeling disappointed.

 

Hmm..that brings up another point that I was trying to figure out how to articulate. I believe one thing that might make various relationships for 'good looking' people more difficult is that some other people may have more stringent, more difficult to live up to, expectations of them, such as expecting them to work harder at the friendship or expecting them to 'make up for' their 'gift' of good looks by being nicer or smarter or harder working, or I guess another example is being better in bed.

[silky88]

i was originally avoiding thispost, because it hit too close to home, but i finally decided to add my two cents...

 

i, myself, have found that while i'm generally considered very attractive (i've been told often that i could print-model, as i'm too short for the runway) it does NOT bode very well for relationships. many of the relationships i've been in have been started for the wrong reasons -- physical attractiveness is definitely no indicator of compatibility, and then once the newness wears off, you find guys obsessed with protecting their "prize" (a good-looking woman) and totally jealous, even while behaving less-than-nice in the very relationship they are trying to preserve. why? because they feel the strain of incompatibility, but don't want to end it because they think you're the hottest girl they can get.

 

and me, being terribly insecure as i used to be, would hang on to those unhealthy relationships because i loved being loved, no matter in what twisted form.

 

i have also found that though i am not lacking in intelligence, i am to some degree lacking the social skills that i might have learned earlier had i not been immediately accepted on looks alone... average-looking people have to cultivate social aptitude and hone their personality to be accepted -- it's a sad truth that if you look nice, you will get attention based only on that. it's put me at a handicap at this point in my life, when i realize that to get along with non-shallow people i actually have to have something to say! i'm not very sociable, so this makes me wish i'd been forced to learn sooner.

 

so BAH to good-looking people having it better -- if that were the case, then my relationship right now would not be on the rocks.

[caro33]

I'm not sure if I can articulate this properly, and my deepest apologies if I get someone riled up, but I am a little surprised about people's statements about looks, and their assumptions that anything that happened in their lives from there was so linked to the looks alone. I agree with pinkelephant that it's about personality probably more than anything; how someone presents themself, who they choose to be with.

 

I guess on a very general level I would agree that good looking people probably find it easier in general to find someone who will have them, because one major criterion of what is looked for in a partner is kind of covered. But all that means is that the general population of people available to the good looking person is probably greater than for the not so good looking person. There's nothing to say that there are many people within that population who are still a good match for the good looker, they may still choose bad eggs for whatever reason, or they might be unlucky.

 

I have had my share of compliments, I'm okay on a good day, but I have to say that I have been largely immune to my looks and any effect they have had on people (except to doubt them and feel bad about everything I'm not). I have dressed down, tried to be inconspicuous, and it's worked. I have also, on other occasions, shown a bit more, been a bit more 'out there' in my style, and have found the attention I have garnered to be completely different, and from completely different types of guys from when I am covered up and quiet.

 

I guess my point is that looks can be largely manufactured, and from my observations of the world in general I'm not sure the low maintenance good looking person has life any different from the average looking person. It's about the image you present - I have seen some pretty homely girls jazz it up and do pretty well for themselves, they have had the confidence and chutzpah to pull it off. And a high maintenance appearance - regardless of actual looks someone was born with - will get attention from people who are similarly high maintenance, and who value that. Sometimes those people are shallow and don't value the person inside, but that just because there's a higher probability that people who spend a lot of time on their looks are likely to value that extremely highly - it's not about real looks but about a choice of sub-culture if you like.

 

Not sure I stayed on track there but there you go. I have to say, I don't know anyone who is really really good looking all on their own, without some primping, so maybe I'm just not getting it.

[bitbit]

i don't think looks effect the way you get treated. it's the way you carry yourself. i have always been told i'm good looking, yet my prior relationship was physically, verbally, and mentally abusive and he was controlling and insulting constantly.

[Jayar]

Pretty people get treated better, I would think, because they put up with less crap. If a less attractive girl is being treated like crap by her boyfriend, not only does she often tolerate it, she makes it HER JOB to make herself less bothersome to him so he (hopefully) stops treating her like crap!!!

 

I'm not a centerfold, but I can hold my own in the dating arena... And if a few little things piss me off, I'm gone. thereforeeee, while it might LOOK like I get treated better, I really don't... It's just that my long relationships happen to only be those I am exceptionally happy in.

[CarnelianButterfly]

Pretty people get treated better, I would think, because they put up with less crap. If a less attractive girl is being treated like crap by her boyfriend, not only does she often tolerate it, she makes it HER JOB to make herself less bothersome to him so he (hopefully) stops treating her like crap!!!

I don't agree with this at all!

Just because a woman is less visually pleasing to others does not make her willing to be abused.

This is a horrible generalization.

[Jayar]

I don't agree with this at all!

Just because a woman is less visually pleasing to others does not make her willing to be abused.

This is a horrible generalization.

 

You see it A-L-L the time! And it definitely isn't in EVERY case, but in MANY cases less attractive people have the "what if I can't do better" and "what if I don't find anyone else" mentality. It isn't right, and they shouldn't have that mentality, but many of them do.

 

The thing is, if you're less attractive, the assumption is that your dating pool is smaller. One of my best friends is a not-so-attractive guy. And his dating pool is small. But now, in his 30's, he has just moved in with a beautiful, amazing woman that adores him because he didn't settle. But he is sadly the exception, not the rule.

[wexmen]

i do agree that good looking people have more advantage than others in terms of relationship.like someone up there said guys normallly are shallow minded but it is true , whenever a pretty girl do something not nice , guys normally forgive her instantly just because a short period young good looking face .

 

below is a story about different treatment from a guys .

 

the guys say if i spend 1 dollar for a pretty girl.the 1 dollar is still a 1 dollar ,

if i spend 1 dollar for a normal looking one, 1 dollar could be 1000 dollar .do you all get what it means ??

 

my perception to this story is the guys prefer to spend more for pretty girl and feel it is not worth for a normal looking one .

 

what do you think ??

[caro33]

the guys say if i spend 1 dollar for a pretty girl.the 1 dollar is still a 1 dollar ,

if i spend 1 dollar for a normal looking one, 1 dollar could be 1000 dollar .do you all get what it means ??

 

my perception to this story is the guys prefer to spend more for pretty girl and feel it is not worth for a normal looking one .

 

what do you think ??

 

Actually I don't understand, sorry! Is it because a pretty girl is harder to catch and keep so you need to spend more? A homely girl's got no other options so it's not really a good investment? Not sure if that's what you're saying.

[xprincessbugx]

This must be the hot people forum