Easing comfort with socializing, talking

[easyguy]

There is obviously no one way to open up to people when it comes to being more talkative, responsive, and just overall friendlier. But one method that I have discovered very recently... in fact, this morning, is by forcing yourself into situations where you have to talk to people, even if it is just a brief "Hello", is a great way to improve your confidence.

 

This morning I was doing some volunteer work for a food drive just outside of a grocery store, and I was the greeter who handed out information slips about the organization/supporter, which has never been my thing, as I tend to be shy around strangers. At first, I was shy when greeting people, sometimes not even saying a word, just smiling as they passed by. Then I just forced myself to greet people by saying something brief and to the point. The more I engaged in it, even when people ignored me or looked disinterested, I just kept going. In this kind of setting, you cannot take anything personally.

 

That said, that mentality rubs off into more vulnurable situations, which is great if you are never comfortable in those settings. It even makes just saying, "Hi, how are you doing?" to a complete stranger much easier, even if you never see the person again.

 

This is just one example. I am sure there are others out there who have discovered their own way of becoming more talkative, less-shy.

[Cloud802]

I always break conversations with questions about the person. For example, I met my friend J.J. on the first day of school, and the first impression I gave off was horrible(He thought I was a stoner)

 

However, I broke the ice by asking a quick, "Do you like to read?" And it went from there.

[sweetheart21]

Thats a great idea! One of my ideas is talking to sales assistants when your shopping. It makes it a little easier practicing because you know you wont see them again, its their job to be nice to customers and it only lasts a few minutes

[Gunner6543]

Thats a great idea! One of my ideas is talking to sales assistants when your shopping. It makes it a little easier practicing because you know you wont see them again, its their job to be nice to customers and it only lasts a few minutes

 

Thats a great idea.

 

Thanks for that

[Weeblie]

Great thread. I'm curious to hear more answers to this.

 

I got a job in sales to force me into uncomfortable situations. And I've gotten better at saying hi to people and asking how they're doing. But it's moving from the greeting into a conversation that's so difficult.

 

I find myself constantly fumbling for words or freezing up because I want to sound clever. I can never think of anything to say. I'll try to ask questions, but I always feel so awkward. Like I'm asking the wrong question at the wrong time.

Anyone else experience this or has found a way to lessen this?

[Kevin T]

Somehow I don't think just going,

 

"Hi. Do you like dogs?"

 

is going to impress people.

 

I'd have to wonder if the person doing that had some form of mental disorder or something. But hey, that's just me. I'd just prefer not to sound like a complete idiot or dork. *shrugs*

[sweetheart21]

Somehow I don't think just going,

 

"Hi. Do you like dogs?"

 

is going to impress people.

 

I'd have to wonder if the person doing that had some form of mental disorder or something. But hey, that's just me. I'd just prefer not to sound like a complete idiot or dork. *shrugs*

 

Nobody said anything like that

I dont see how saying 'do you like dogs?' would mean your mentally ill!

[elithepi]

I worked as a television news photographer.

I had to go up to people, strangers on the street and ask them their opinion about certain issues. Often having to explain the basis of the question.

That experience, looking back, has helped me a WHOLE lot in dealing with talking to people.

Before I was very shy.

I usually start with a bunch of questions and I find myself acting like I'm interviewing someone.

They will notice and I'll explain that "I use to shoot news for a living." In a loud environment, the girl wil hear "I shoot nudes for a living". That's when I get weird looks and I have to further explain...which usually ends up in a good laugh.

If you end up feeling awkward, tell the truth, tell them you've been working on your converstion skills, then ask how them you are doing.

I think that if you are 100% honest in a self-depricating humorous way, people will enjoy your conversation.

That's just my take.