What is his emotions leading to?

[naughtycowgirl]

Hey guys...well the story is that i am dating a guy that i have fell head over heels for. And the thing is that is he aint that cute and i am quite pretty. Well i thought he would actually enjoy having a cute loving girlfriend like me,(all his x's were pretty ugly).

 

Well lately we have been going through some things and have been arguing over B.S! When i first met him was through one of the guys i liked and dated for a while and he liked me but never showed it.

 

At a fair one night i told him that i liked him. And he told me he still liked me after i hurt his feelings once before. Than after that we started dating and i hurt his feelings 2 more times and he took me back thank god. and i havent done anything stupid since. well for the past 2 wks we have been arguing.

 

Now we are taking a break so we can overcome this argument stuff. He says he has been unhappy and wants to find out what is wrong with hisself. He told me that he wants this to be long term cause he wants me to be the one he marries. And what got me was he said he never realized how much he cared about me until i cried so much in front of him one day. And i mean he comes and sees me everyday still and he calls atleast once a day..is that a break or revenge?

 

So the question is...is he trying to get revenge? or is he just wanting to get out or what?

[Mythical_Suicide]

Hey guys...well the story is that i am dating a guy that i have fell head over heels for. And the thing is that is he aint that cute and i am quite pretty. Well i thought he would actually enjoy having a cute loving girlfriend like me,(all his x's were pretty ugly).

 

 

 

 

Im not much help but what does that have to do with anything? Maybe if you got over yourself you'd have a decent relationship .

[naughtycowgirl]

trust me i am over myself. i never felt pretty till i moved to this new town and i got very little self esteem... but just enough. if you seen some of his x's you'd understand

[caro33]

trust me i am over myself. i never felt pretty till i moved to this new town and i got very little self esteem... but just enough. if you seen some of his x's you'd understand

 

Yes, but the point still stands, what does this have to do with your question?

 

Back to what I think is your question, given he is calling all the time and says he will marry you one day, it doesn't sound like he wants to end this. From what you said, it genuinely sounds like he's taking responsibility for the fights and the difficulties you have been having as a couple, and he's trying to work out how to fix 'his' problem.

 

How much of all the recent stuff do you think he was responsible for?

 

Are you really head over heels for him?

[Layword]

Okay, I have a few concerns, one: he took you back two times? two: he had feelings for you when you broke down? Sounds like sympathy..

 

To adress both, you said he's "Unattractive" that's an instant red flag. You feel like he's inferior to you. Talking about his Ex's like that is rather low and shows true character. Although it's alright to judge peoples beauty based on your social acceptance factors, everyone has a beauty about them; yes even people YOU find physically unattractive.

 

As for your situation, do you REALLY have feelings for him, or is it just infactuation? Could it be you don't want to be alone? Or are you sad that your in a new town with few friends.

[naughtycowgirl]

How much of all the recent stuff do you think he was responsible for?

Are you really head over heels for him? Caro33

 

Well I have noticed that i was gettin jealous of his friends at first. He told me when we first started dating that he would not hang out with his graduate buddies because they are all doing bad stuff and he didnt want part of that. Well now 2 months later he is running of to Huntsville, going to tity bars, going to football games, not calling me, and refused to come and see me for a while. So he can take blame for most of it. so when he started all this i became depressed quiet and deeply sad. Yeah i am honestly head over heels for him. He is the kind of guy i have been looking for ever since i have changed my looks and my ways. I went through so many and i finally found one, wound up i did him wrong 3 times and he does this to me. So i love this guy, he is the most cutest thing i have ever seen, but compared to everyone else he is ugly but i dont care.

[naughtycowgirl]

Okay, I have a few concerns, one: he took you back two times? two: he had feelings for you when you broke down? Sounds like sympathy..

 

As for your situation, do you REALLY have feelings for him, or is it just infactuation? Could it be you don't want to be alone? Or are you sad that your in a new town with few friends.

 

Yes i really do have feelings for this guy. What do you mean as in sympathy? i dont get it. Is he with me b/c he feels sorry or what? No i dont want to be alone if i can be with him. But if it aint with him than i dont want nothing else. I am a very level headed kid. I had to grow up to fast and i had to learn to quick. So i know what i want in my life and its not teeny boppy stuff. He took me back because he know i was messin up... He said he didnt realize how much he cared about me until i cried infront of him. He has done me right so far...but what to think now?

[naughtycowgirl]

i mean i seriously thinks he cares about me..he told me to keep his class ring that he didnt need it back. This break wouldnt take long at all. I mean he calls me or sees me everyday since this break thing. so i didnt get the point of it. He also told me last night that he couldnt stand it no more that he would think about this about 2 more nights and this break thing would be over with.

[caro33]

Sorry cowgirl but I'm not a fan of the 'he's ugly but I don't care' line of thinking. To even mention it shows you care, and it does sound like you think on some level that he is getting a better 'deal' with you than you are with him. So let's leave that there for now.

 

To get this straight, and sorry I haven't read your other posts, but does "I did him wrong 3 times" mean you cheated on him? If that's the case I think he's probably pretty confused. He was probably very hurt, chose to stay with you, and is now perhaps acting out a bit in general as a passive-aggressive thing. By socialising like he is, he's showing you that you don't really have him by the kahunas, even though he privately thinks that maybe you do. To stick by someone when they've cheated 3 times, I imagine particularly as a guy, must feel a little belittling, or emasculating on some level. Even though he loves you he doesn't have to love the way you treated him.

 

So this sounds messy. Either he can get this out of his system, or he can't and it will break you guys up. Does he feel ugly and you're pretty, in a 'she's too good for me' sense? If you guys are both also buying into that as well his ego must be pretty fragile right now.

 

Could have that all wrong of course. What do you think is happening here?

[Mythical_Suicide]

Well i thought he would actually enjoy having a cute loving girlfriend like me,(all his x's were pretty ugly).

 

 

 

 

This right here shows your thinking of you being "better" than him, because he should ENJOY having a cute girlfriend LIKE YOU.. sorry, but with that attitude sweety you're not going to get too far in a caring relationship.

Judging by things I dont think you two should be in a relationship.

[naughtycowgirl]

He always says his looks are bad and i try to convince himself other wise but he doesnt listen. he compares himself to everyone else. and i dont know what to do. well he called me last night and was very pissy. he told me not to call he would call me. so what should i do?

[caro33]

He always says his looks are bad and i try to convince himself other wise but he doesnt listen. he compares himself to everyone else. and i dont know what to do. well he called me last night and was very pissy. he told me not to call he would call me. so what should i do?

 

Maybe let it go for now? Offer to be there for him but give him his space. He needs to work stuff out and I think for you to trust he's not going to change again he needs to do that in his own time and his own space.

 

Not easy I know, but you cannot force this stuff. Trying to make something happen to make yourself feel better in the short term will generally just worsen the situation.