out of the blue

[nemo_lost]

hi everyone,

my girlfriend was telling me today that she bumped into her yoga instructor (very handsome & sexy, straight, single, popular with the ladies) and that she hadn't seen in a couple of months becuase he works at a different place now. she said she wanted to tell me becuase she doesn't want to hide anything, and so i'd recognize his name in case he emails her or something. she said she told him about us and how much she really likes me, etc.

overall i'm a little weirded out, though i totally played it cool with her. to be honest i'd rather not know. so ladies, my question if i should feel secure or not. would you metnion something like that out of the blue to your boyfriend? would you do something like that if you truly want to be totally honest with your guy? how should i interperet this?

thanks!

[Corvette]

she probably want to nail him, I would move on.....

[honeyspur]

I might say it if I had a belief my man would freak out if i was talking/being friendly with other guys.

 

If you haven't given her any cause to think you are a jealous type - she may be like that because of a past relationship where the guy WAS a jealous type.

Meaning she is just projecting it on you.

 

But keep your eye open and offer to go with her if she meets up with him for a drink or something. If she doesn't invite you - you might need to confront her about it.

[nemo_lost]

i guess my thought is if she felt guilty or something, or didn't want me to read into in more than she'd like, then she would do what she said. i have nad no reason to think she hasn't been honest with me in our relatioship. but if it's all innocent why would it be a big deal it all. does that make sense? am i getting paranoid, or is the idea of her talking to another guy taking over my common sense? so confused.

[Mythical_Suicide]

I think you're makin a bigger deal out of this then she was by telling you.. I tell my bf if I happen to run into an old friend or something not to start anything but to just let him know because I don't see why its such a big deal and later on down the road he's not finding the guys number and freaking out over it.

I she hasnt given you a reason not to trust her i'd say just dont worry too much about it.

[emma34]

She definitely felt guilty about it...by making it clear to you that she is just for you, and it is innocent, she is also clearing it up with herself. I wouldn't lose any sleep about it - chances are even if she does have a little crush on him, nothing wil happen.

 

On the other hand, maybe she just told you that, because she knew that befriending a guy like that (sexy, etc.) would make you jealous, and she is reassuring you...

 

take her reassurance and just that...

[Bethany]

Why did she even give him her email and why is he going to mail her?

 

If there's nothing going on, it will fizzle out in it's own,because he's a single guy and deep down he's not really looking for friendship so he will move on.

 

But if there is something going on, you will see it in her reactions after reading his mails and in her secret smiles when she thinks you aren't watching her.

[Clementine orange]

She may be minorly tempted so she is telling you right away so that it's all out in the open. A pre-emptive strike to stop anything from startgin and "snowballing".

I'd take this as a good sign - she's being straight with you and not keeping secrets.

[nemo_lost]

Thanks everyone for your opinion! I thought that copying what she wrote me might shed some light on what I'm trying to interpret, so here it is.

 

"Forgot to mention that last night I bumped into my friend [name], my former yoga instructor. He works at another class now and it's been soooo long since I've seen him. You might have seen some emails and messages from him to me. Anyway... sooo we caught up for a little bit and I told him about you and that I'm happy and in love. He seemed really happy for me! So anyway, there's really no reason that I am telling you this. I just don't want to hide anything from you. And if you see [name] writing me you know who he is."

[honeyspur]

Yeah this is something to be trusted for now.

Not too weird, but a little over explained.

Like I said. keep your eye open and be ready to be wrong.

And if they start seeing each other every week or something, make efforts to get to know him yourself.

 

I always befriend any girl thats with a guy friend of mine to show her I'm not after her man. It's just respectful. And I've stepped in on a couple women who seemed interested in my man, to make my presense known. You know, just introduce myself...put my arm around my guy.....that kind of thing.