Dumb Question

[VeganBohemian]

This might sound dumb, but I think I might have offended my boyfriend. Last night, I knew he was going to be in the student center at school with his group for a very difficult project. He had been talking about this project for days before the meeting and was stressing about it because it is due a couple of days after the meeting and is a 15 page paper on info systems...very difficult.

 

Anyway, I was in the student center last night also doing a Powerpoint and I knew he was there, but purposely went on the other side so we wouldn't run into each other because I didn't want to disturb him with his group. I didn't know if he was there at first because I didn't see him, but I overheard a girl saying she was doing an info systems project. I asked her if she was in my bf's group and she said no. I told her I was his gf and she told me where he was.

 

She told him I was there, but I never went to say hi to him. Do you think I offended him or not?? I think he thinks it was odd that I didn't go up to him and say hi. Whenever he sees me, he always grabs me and says hi to me. I honestly just didn't want to bother him though. He ended up staying ultra late to finish the project too, it was a hard assignment.

 

Was I wrong??

[shikashika]

you sounds like you were concerned and caring... not offensive!... maybe thats it... he just found it odd.. tell him what you told us... you were concerned about him as he'd been talkign about this project for a while

[The Law]

You did the right thing, especially if you look at the fact that you said the project was DUE. + that he himself KNOWS that he IS busy with a project, mean that all the focus should be on the project, you where right for not even saying hi, yes its unusual but you can say to him 'i didn't want to disturb you with getting your deadline'. Actually i don't think you even have to say that, i think your worrying about nothing because the issue was discussed before hand its only logical and normal and thoughtfull of you that you didn't butt in. So no worries ok? A week after the project is finished you could ask him how it went without trouble.

[Beec]

I think what you did is fine. I might let him know that you wanted to go over and grab him, but you resisted because you knew he was working on it. That way, you create the best of both worlds. You let him know you did soemthing because you thought it best for him, and you tell him you want him. If he is angry after you tell him that, I'd begin to think he was not the right guy.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

is this relationship pretty new? sometimes in the beginning it is hard to figure out what is the right way to handle things...

 

but the most important thing is realizing nobody is a mind reader and you have to ask and talk about things rather than trying to guess what someone likes or wants...

 

so next time you get together, i'd tell him, 'you know, i saw you the other night but wasn't sure whether you wanted to be bothered while you were trying to get that paper done, or i would have come over and said hi..'

 

and see what he says... he might say, yea, i saw you and wondered why, or thanks, i was really busy and needed to focus etc. that way you know what he likes, and have let him know you weren't avoiding him for other reasons...

 

so in other words, keep communicating and ask him and don't try to assume one way or another what he might like or not like... that's what can lead to misunderstandings, when people jump to conclusions and are wrong...

[VeganBohemian]

I just talked to him, he didn't care lol. He vented a little to me about his project.

 

No, the relationship is not new, we've been together over a year.