pyshco?

[softballcym]

I am a 17 year old senior. I don't do drugs, I don't drink, I don't have sex, I don't party. I get good grades in school and I have a good job for right now. My parents however don't believe anything I say.

 

My dad has set up cameras around the outside of the house so he can keep watch on it all the time. He reads all of my messages on AIM and my email and I have no idea how he does it. He will most likely read this as well. They judge all my friends before they even get to know them. I can't even talk to them anymore because they assume way too much.

 

I am too scared to ask them to do anything because it's so hard to get a yes out of them and they also usually think I am not even going to go and do what I said. I pretty much sit at home everyday unless I am at work.

 

I am afraid that if they don't let me go and live my life a little bit now I will go crazy in college doing everything I "missed" out on doing.

 

Any advice on what I could do? I am desperate...

[Cloud802]

Well, let me tell you now, if you still have a concept of crazy then chances are you won't go crazy, I wouldn't be able to stand any of this. Your parents are over protective, I'd say talk to them and be sincere but with them I doubt it will help.

 

Maybe you could try talking to your school counseler about it.

[dil]

holy crap.

 

I thought my parents were bad.

 

You should be assertive in your conversation to them. Since you have done no wrong, you should say: "innocent until proven guilty". There's absolutely no reason they should control your life in that animal-like manner. You are a person, not a dog, they can't lock you up in your house all the time.

[HellFrost666]

You are in a tough spot. I know you probably think you could never stand up to them, but you should consider it. You don't need to yell and fight with them, but tell them you are not doing anything wrong and you deserve a little freedom. Also tell them that you are afraid of going wild when you go to college. You might be surprised how well this works.

[dil]

my parents were pretty controlling too, they'd confiscate my leather jacket to make me wear a 'warmer' jacket. I was also 17 years old at the time.

 

they'd also ground me for no reason when I was 15/16.

[doyathink]

Most probably they have installed a keylogger software program on your computer and can see every thing you do. It takes a snapshot every so many seconds and they see what you see. It also logs every thing you type.

 

Either you have lied to them in the past and you have a lot of proving to do or they are very over-protective. Are you the eldest? If not, has any of your siblings done some things that would make them suspect all of you?

[musicguy]

I mean it's good to be protective of your children, but that's extreme

[Juliana]

I'm 40. Your parents have snapped. They have lost it. They have decided that the world is simply so dangerous, and you so untrustworthy, they cannot rely on something simple like, say, direct communication with you, and have to monitor and watch you all the time.

 

Your parents are separate people from you, and their actions do not "force" you to do anything in retaliation. If you go crazy in college, it will only ruin your life. It won't do squat to them except prove they were right.

 

I think that there are privacy and legal issues here that I hope someday the courts will get into; I saw a parent on tv last week who had installed cameras in his daughters bedrooms; that's sick. That's just sick. Some parents cannot deal with their children's maturing lives, and so they freak out and become insanely restrictive.

 

To protect your own mental health, I would suggest that you remind yourself, every day, that you are a separate person from your parents, and that their worries are not the product of anything you are doing. Crazy people are just crazy. I would also suggest that you make sure you are doing something physically challenging, like working out, and that as soon as you are able, engage in healthy risk-taking, like mountain climbing, free climbing, white water rafting -- something healthy that allows you feelings of competence and courage. Your parents are gutting you and they don't even know it.

 

As a teen, I also did not smoke, drink, do drugs or have sex. I was not allowed to cross the street without being watched. Literally. My adoptive mother was crazy, I realize now, but at the time, I was forced to wonder if there was some sense to her perception of the world -- maybe no one could be trusted? Maybe I was never safe? -- There wasn't. Dump the ideas that your parent's conduct is putting in your head, and keep yourself sane.

[jengh]

Would you consider counseling? Would they consider family counseling? These are some pretty serious issues. Like the other posters, I thought my parents were overprotective. I'm sorry you have to go through your highschool years in fear of your parents.