Biggest mistakes of a relationship!

[Agathon]

Let me first say that I'm only 17, so my opinion probably doesn't matter. However, I also have the arrogance to claim I know a lot about relationships and where most go wrong.

 

The first step: when you "get to know" someone, make sure it's over the course of several months. Most people are lonely or feel as if they HAVE to have a relationship with someone. What a mistake. Honestly, there's nothing wrong with friends, cause you shouldn't be concerned about anything more.

 

Making a choice: Deciding whether or not to pursue a relationship is tough and can ALWAYS go 50/50. No rule here. Either let you heart lead you, or think about it more. Your sex drive should not even be brought into the equation.

 

Intimacy: There is nothing wrong with kissing/hugging. Don't limit it, but don't expect/ask/want more. Use some will power!

 

Holding on: NEVER try to pressure anyone or let yourself be pressured into sex. Also don't use it as a tactic to 'repair' a relationship. You'll only make it worse.

 

Again, I'm pretty young and have that juvenile áttitude of "I know everything."

 

The facts are simple. Sex isn't everything, timing is everything. If your trying to rush it, then maybe it's not the time or place in your life. If your going to invest alot of effort and time on someone, you should spent a small amount at least in "keeping things slow."

 

Just needed to get that in the open. Plus I'd love some feedback, or just any other scenerio... I don't really talk to too many people about this, cause I can get a little 'hard' face to face. Mainly cause all the people worthy of a conversation with have all made big mistakes and Im on my high horse with zero.

 

Thanks for your time.

[Maverick32x]

in theory... sure, that all makes sense... most of its pretty cliche to be honest... however, in the real world, that doesn't always fly~

 

your major flaw of reasoning is that ASSUME you KNOW the diffrence between following your heart... or following your sex drive..

or knowing the diffrence between "just wanting to be in a relationship" and "actually liking someone"

when you are in the moment, its not very easy to tell these things apart... and hindsight is ALWAYS 20/20.....

 

either way, its good stuff to keep in mind, but good luck applying it all the time

[Slagar]

Let me first say that I'm only 17, so my opinion probably doesn't matter.

 

Hehehe, age isn't everything my friend. Everybody is different, and it sounds as though you've got at least a fair idea of how things work when it comes to relationships.

 

Mistakes are inevitable, but that is how we learn.

 

Those pieces of advice seem pretty sound to me. Thanks for sharing

[Agathon]

I guess what Im looking for is an explanation from some people. Not sure why...

 

Maybe... My girlfriend was pressured into having sex at age 16 with a guy who she didn't like all that much. Her reasoning is that "she did what she felt was right at the time and even though regretting it, knows it has helped her mold into the person she is."

 

My problem is that Im a self-righteous A-hole and can't understand why people are so weak. I'm not religious, but I'm not far off in the belief that waiting till marriage is key.

 

Would anyone believe me if I said Ive never made a mistake? Never one that I couldn't live with, or regretted alot? I'm not scared, or safe exactly... I'm just... sure. Don't know if that makes sense, and sorry if I pissed anyone off.

[HugeHeart]

Just my 2 cents..

 

When you fall for someone, all logic goes out the window (I'm speaking of myself). I wish there was some sort of manual that comes with this sort of thing, but we just have to live through it. Sometimes, the reward is unbelievable. Other times, you are left with a broken heart. But, regardless of how things turn out, it sure is good to know that the feelings inside us make us feel alive.

[Night Pumpkin]

Those things should be common sense to everyone, but unfortunately it seems that many people don't seem to realize them until it's too late.

[whoops]

thing is about sex you do it if it feels right - nothing about pressure but cause you just want to -

[Maverick32x]

I guess what Im looking for is an explanation from some people. Not sure why...

 

Maybe... My girlfriend was pressured into having sex at age 16 with a guy who she didn't like all that much. Her reasoning is that "she did what she felt was right at the time and even though regretting it, knows it has helped her mold into the person she is."

 

My problem is that Im a self-righteous A-hole and can't understand why people are so weak. I'm not religious, but I'm not far off in the belief that waiting till marriage is key.

 

Would anyone believe me if I said Ive never made a mistake? Never one that I couldn't live with, or regretted alot? I'm not scared, or safe exactly... I'm just... sure. Don't know if that makes sense, and sorry if I pissed anyone off.

 

ya i can honestly see how someone can have this view point, I am actually kind of close to this as well. I won't go as far to say i NEVER make mistakes, but I defintly am a pretty self-rightous indivual, and i personally hate it.

 

But ok, so you're frustrated that she wasnt strong enough to make her own choices, because in your life, you are strong enough to make ALL your choices, and the reason you say you never make mistakes, is because you feel that you think out every option, and than act on the one you think is best, thereforeeee implying that you always make a CHOICE, and as long as you make a choice that you think through, you never are making mistakes, and never regretting them? (holy run on sentence batman. Hopefull you get what I'm saying

But the problem with thinking that way, is that you need to realize that not everyone thinks like this, and some people are influenced by their peers much more than others. I'm sure you are a person that doesnt really buy into the whole "Peer pressure" thing... and you feel its just an excuse to do what you want to do, deep down inside.... (well thats how i feel sometimes atleast

My advice would be to simply TRUST HER. Its probably frustrating as hell that she could make such a big mistake, but the reality is that she did, and you need to get over that... or the relationship is over. Sometimes you just need to forgive and forget. You will meet alot of people that have made mistakes, and guess what? YOU will make mistakes also, we all do it!!!

[Momene]

When I was 25 I seemed "sorted" in that my life was mapped out a\nd I "knew" where I was going.

 

At 51 it's so different you wouldn't believe it.

[Agathon]

Maverick, that seems pretty reasonable.

 

I've gotten over her mistake for the most part, it's just once in awhile out of nowhere I'll get one of those infamous 'visuals' and I get disgusted and hurt all over... not nearly as bad mind you. I know almost every detail, the number of times, with who, diff situations, how, etc.

 

It's good to know that you think I should forgive and forget... seems like I did it again with the right choice thing. We've moved past it, but I still don't full understand. And yeah, was frustrating.

 

Whoops and Nightpumpkin ... are you ok with your choices? I'm not being harsh, I just want to know if I havn't made myself TOO cautious. I'm not scared... just careful? Afterall, I understand alot of people are happy with they're decisions, yet some arn't.

 

I'm just here for the understanding... cause I don't know everything.