confused

[TheOnlyOne]

Well this is something that been bothering me the past couple months.

 

I have a good friend that I have known for 2 years. I met through someone in my old clique. She was dating him at the time. Back then I didn't see her that much then maybe once or twice a week. I really enjoyed the times when I was around her though. We had a lot in common and still do be it movies, music or video games and we share the same group of friends. Our realtionship had always been stricly friends to me she was just one of the guys.

 

Fast forward a year later. The "friend" she was dating showed his true colors.

She left him and everyone in the group stuck by her side. So he was out the picture compeletly. My friends and I were trying to set her up with another friend he was a real good guy and she had known him alittle over a year. They hooked up and dated a few times but nothing serious came of it so for the next 6 months she decided to say single.

 

Over this past summer she finally went out on a date about 3 times a month co workers guys from school. Around this time I realized I was attracted to her. I no longer saw her as just one of the guys. Now back in september I started notice she was acting different around me. I would catch her staring at me and when she saw me she looked away quickly. She asks my opinion for things going on in her personal life. She has been a lot more physical with me in the past 2 months. she will sit right next to me even when there are plenty of other places to sit.

 

However all this behavior confuses me as she has been going out with a co-worker for a month. Maybe she is more comfortable around me now or

Is she trying to make me jealous? I pretty sure she doesn't know I'm attracted to her though. I haven't told anyone or done anything to show it.

 

can anyone help me out here?

[FortunateOne]

Wow! Tough spot. I suggest you let her know how you feel before things get serious with the new guy. It's fair to the both of you to be authentic with each other's emotions, just be prepared for the "Friendzone" talk. I know it may seem strangely frightfull to tell her, but it's better to try and fail then not try at all.

[xLDx]

Although telling her how you feel is probably the best way to get an answer, sometimes it's tough to find proper situations to do so, and especially when she might be taken aback since it could possibly come right out of the blue to her.

 

What I'd personally do first (and hey, this is just me) is play the same card she is. Small subtle hints perhaps. Ones that will make HER say "Wow, he's acting different, what could this mean?". It might allow her to rethink her current relationship.

 

If her reactions to your "flirting" are positively met, then it might be a good opening to tell her how you feel. Otherwise, there is a slight risk to put her off from being so close to you if you surprise her with a sudden emotional confrontation.

 

Just my humble opinion =)

[valenski]

Danger Will Robinson!

I cant even express to you how delicate this situation is, before you even think about letting out your secret, consider how well you know her and if you can manage losing her friendship, what would things be like at work, is she stable considering her break ups, how many of her little secrets do you know (that she has told you not what you heard elsewhere). Not saying things wont work out, just warning you that if things dont work out, it will feel a hundred times worse than if you'd never met before.

Good luck.

[TheOnlyOne]

Wow! Tough spot. I suggest you let her know how you feel before things get serious with the new guy. It's fair to the both of you to be authentic with each other's emotions, just be prepared for the "Friendzone" talk. I know it may seem strangely frightfull to tell her, but it's better to try and fail then not try at all.

 

I understand what your saying but I don't want to be the one that cuase that realtionship to fail. I would probably talk with her and indirectly ask how things with her new guy are going. as for getting the friendzone talk I not worried about that but what valenski said about losing her friendship I'm not sure I could handle that.

 

Although telling her how you feel is probably the best way to get an answer, sometimes it's tough to find proper situations to do so, and especially when she might be taken aback since it could possibly come right out of the blue to her.

 

What I'd personally do first (and hey, this is just me) is play the same card she is. Small subtle hints perhaps. Ones that will make HER say "Wow, he's acting different, what could this mean?". It might allow her to rethink her current relationship.

 

If her reactions to your "flirting" are positively met, then it might be a good opening to tell her how you feel. Otherwise, there is a slight risk to put her off from being so close to you if you surprise her with a sudden emotional confrontation.

 

Just my humble opinion =)

 

I find this to be a much safer way. however I not very good at flirting I can tell when someone is flirting with me but I suck at it

 

Danger Will Robinson!

I cant even express to you how delicate this situation is, before you even think about letting out your secret, consider how well you know her and if you can manage losing her friendship, what would things be like at work, is she stable considering her break ups, how many of her little secrets do you know (that she has told you not what you heard elsewhere). Not saying things wont work out, just warning you that if things dont work out, it will feel a hundred times worse than if you'd never met before.

Good luck.

 

I have no intention of letting anyone find out about my feelings for her. when she is at work she acts very professional. she has told me a good amount of information in confidence, of course lots of women tell their friends secrets if they trust them. I'm plan taking slow and to have as much as I can thought out before I start talking to her about how I feel.

 

there is a party tonight that she will be attending. I was thinking about bringing a date to see how she reacts to me around another female. Would this be a bad idea?

[TheOnlyOne]

Well here is an update on things went at the party. I ended up bringing a date I'll call her "Peach" and I will call the girl I'm attracted to "Bunny" so every knows who i'm referring to.

 

So I set foot in the front door with Peach I could see Bunny glance over at me and she had a Surprised look on her face. I did chat her shortly while Peach was having a conversation with one of my other friends. through out the rest of the night Bunny kept her distance.

 

Later on that night Peach and I went out for a walk that was at most 15 minutes when I get back I find out that Bunny had already left. It was still somewhat early for the weekend and it was not like bunny to be one of the frist to leave. Did she get jealous that I brought a date? or could it be she just felt awkward and decided to excuse herself from the festivities?

[FortunateOne]

Did Bunny have a date?

If not, do you think Bunny was there to meet and spend time with you?

Is Peach being strung along for your game to get Bunny?

Or not, do you like Peach?

What did you and Bunny chat about?

How did Bunny keep her distance?

Did this situation improve the trust between Bunny and you?

[TheOnlyOne]

No bunny did not bring her bf. He isn't one to go out on the weekends. I'm sure that if I hadn't shown up at all that night that Bunny would still have gone.

 

Peach is not being strung along. We are 2 single people enjoying one anothers company. Yes I do like Peach but I know for a fact she is not looking for a serious realtionship with anyone at the moment.

 

Bunny came up to me and asked how the past week had been for me. I replied by telling her "it was OK" then she changed the subject to the

holidays. We ended up talking about christmas shopping. I told her I always had a hard time getting the perfect girt for everyone on my list. She asked me what i was getting her for christmas. I jokingly said "A stocking full of coal. she hit me on the shoulder. That was pretty much it.

 

The rest of the time Bunny was there she seemed to stay in the other side of the house with a few friends from work.

 

I don't think the trust between me and Bunny changed. I hope it didn't I know I brought a date and didn't tell her ahead of time but should I have to?