did i ruin my chances with my first encounter?

[Gratsy]

So this guy came up to me and asked me for my name, acting like he was doing it for the meeting we were both in. He was really cute! I was super shy though... although I laughed at his jokes. I didn't try really hard to stay near him because I felt the onslaught of self consciousness which tends to ruin anything I could have started with a guy. He made a joke, and he had the most adorable dimples. I don't even know his name. Do you know how to get a guy to ask you for your number when he comes up to you without ruining it?

[insofar]

Ask him for his number or just give it to him! There's no reason he has to be the one to initiate.

[Gratsy]

I don't buy into that though! From painful experience, I've learned that you must have the guy ask first! Thats not a topic for discussion for me...but if you have any suggestions on how to get him to know its okay to ask, I'd love to hear them!

[Bethany]

If the guy has the guts to walk up and ask your name, he has the guts to ask for your number.

[Caterina]

If the guy has the guts to walk up and ask your name, he has the guts to ask for your number.

Well, thats a good point.

[annie24]

Do you know how to get a guy to ask you for your number when he comes up to you without ruining it?

 

you don't have to "do" anything. just be yourself, charming, flirt. if he goes up to you, but doesn't ask for your number, blah, whatever. NEXT!

[SexySadie7]

I think Annie is right... if he's interested.. believe you he will ask you. He knows there's other guys out there.. If he doesn't speak up.. you might be out on a date with another guy next time.

I met this guy too not to long ago. We met downtown and he seemed very friendly and nice. Offered to buy me a drink in this little outdoor fresco...

We sat there for about an hour really, talking story.

But I think i made a mistake.. I told him we should exchange numbers.. We are both into music so I thought we play music sometimes.

You know what the result is? Now this guy wants ME to call him! And if I do call him...all i get is his answering machine and then it takes DAYS to get him to call me back.

I don't know what it is.. but whenever you chase a guy.. he seems to lose interest.... Maybe it's biological.. maybe he wasn't too interested.

I'm not trying to steal your post.. but try read that book... He's Just Not Into You.. lots of negative stuff.. but it WAS written by a guy... They do have a code of behavioir they follow (well.. not true of all guys) weird as it can be!

[charley]

Ask him for his number or just give it to him! There's no reason he has to be the one to initiate.

 

I agree with you. Countless times I've had the courage to initiate a conversation with a woman I was attracted to, but not the courage to ask her out. What's wrong with the woman asking for the guy's number, or suggesting lunch? Nothing.

 

===============

 

If avoiding rejection and protecting your pride is your priority, then wait for him to ask you. If getting a date is your priority, then ask him to lunch, or some other casual thing, IMO. The number might be exchanged later over lunch. That's my opinion.

 

I came to this realization why actively working at reducing my shyness and learning to ask for dates. Before, I only dated women who asked me, but that doesn't happen very often. When I came to the final step and it was time to ask her, I had to first ask myself, why am a afraid? What is my priority? Is my priority to avoid rejection, or to get the date? After I thought about that, I realized that getting the date should be my priority. Then I then asked her out.

[atraceofblood]

I don't buy into that though! From painful experience, I've learned that you must have the guy ask first! Thats not a topic for discussion for me...but if you have any suggestions on how to get him to know its okay to ask, I'd love to hear them!

 

well as a guy I don't buy into the guy always making the moves! haha

 

I mean you could jokingly ask him "So are you gonna ask for my number anytime soon or what?" lol

[Survictor]

I agree with atraceofblood. It's a great way to break down that barrier.

 

It's hard for guys to ask a girl they like for her number. They fear rejection too, you know!

[JimmerJammer]

Hey Gratsy,

 

Well being a more traditional man myself I feel that I enjoy biting the bullet and taking the chance(despite the fact my anxiety really messes with me when I do lol). Aside from the fact that I love providing that experience for the woman, I also feel that the guy should be the one to ask for the number. PERIOD.

 

Anyways, what I would suggest is a friendly reminder of who you are. a FEMALE and him, a MALE. He may be shy and have problems asking out of fear of rejection, but your body language and the way you project yourself can really help reduce that fear. I'm not suggesting putting yourself OUT there but radiating feminine energy is usually the thing that gets me thinking "I GOTTA ask this girl for her number or I'll regret it later!". So in case it wasn't obvious, be a bit more welcoming with your femininity around him so he can be more comfortable in thinking you're interested.