Its my terrible terrible flaw.

[Asphyxia]

Being shy. Its so difficult to not be shy, especially around someone i really really like.

 

Apparently its my one flaw.

There is this girl i like, and i told herabout how i felt finally, and she says she admits she always had a thing for me. Well Im not always shy around her, its just usually when im around her and a bigger group i guess. I just dont like large groups to begin with but i find myself in them all the time.

So we were talking about things. and she tells me. "well i dunno i dunno, would it work?" "your really SHY and im loud". is what she says.

I find it good enoug that someone as beautiful and as great as her has an interest in me but i was really hurt when she was saying this.

basically im just not good enough, and the main reason is im shy.

meh

it doesnt bother me that much anymore. But i still think about her and im still crushed. I just dont really have a mild interest in anyone else and i admit that i dont think it would have worked out between us either. Still i really need to learn how to be less shy. Im just a little anxious sometimes, and paranoid of saying stupid things.

[Dating Coach]

You should have grabbed her, kissed her, and said, "I dunno, what do you think?"

 

To get serious... you tell me what this looks like:

 

Him: "I really like you, as in a girlfriend..."

 

Her: "I kinda like you too..."

 

Him: *pause* "Okay, see you later."

 

What's the point? What's going on here? Nothing. Do you expect the girl to grab your hand and take you for a walk? YOU have to initiate something, you don't just stand there talking. So far you've mentioned that you've told her you like her and you two talked about it. BORING!

 

This is one of the reasons why you never confess your feelings to a girl you like, it's too boring, lacks any challenge, and doesn't lend well to a romantic situation. Only in the movies does a guy stutter out, "I love you" to his crush and in turn have her jump his bones. In the real world you get far favorable responses by ACTIONS. Don't stop and talk about everything, you simply do it. You like her? Ask her out on a date! There is no need to dwell on what's going through your mind with her, that's boring and full of drama. It puts a lot of responsibility on her shoulders. No one wants all of that up front. Instead, ask her out, take her out on a date, hang out, have fun, and at the end of the night kiss her. Things will progress when you progress them. So far you've only told her you liked her and then you've stopped. You haven't progressed anything. This is likely why she's saying it won't work. She's loud. She's a woman who likes action. She sees in you a guy whom shuffles his feet.

[robowarrior]

What has being shy ever given you for a reward? Just go for gold in your life, this because its always a win win situation, if she says no , you can move on with your life, and if she says yes you got a date.

 

SHE SAID YES! , do not question it. You are your own worst enemy , all your actions speak of rediculous fear. What is needed in life is not fear, nothing can grow from that.Cast off your fear!Look forward!Go forward!Never stand still.Retreat and you will age.Hesitate and you will die.

 

Honestly in a boxing game, does the boxer hesitate, or show fear of getting hit? Its useless because he WILL GET HURT. So might as well give it all and kick the hell out of your opponent which is life.

 

In order to talk to other people you have to be a little insistant on people. Not to the point that you annoy them, but to the point that a conversation starts flowing. Action = reaction. No action = no reaction, or in other words you have to initiate a convo. Initiating a convo can be done by asking a question, don't know a question? Ask what time it is, and go from there.

[Caterina]

Wow, thats your only flaw? Lol. Although, seriously, shyness is sexy. Haven't you heard that one song, He's so shy!/ Dootoodootdoodoo He's so shy!/ Thats why the little boy caught my eye/Cause' he's so shy

 

She might not be interested...but you don't know if its because of your shyness. That might be her excuse because she isn't interested for some other equally random reason. Even if it is for that reason, other girls might be attracted to you for exactly that: your shyness!

[Asphyxia]

Look, i understand what your saying. Im blaming myself not her. I know i could have done more. I could have tried more. Just to clear it up, we had this conversation on msn. She asked me on msn if i liked her, and i said yes. And then it took off from that. and the next day she was acting weird, like she kept avoiding me everytime i wanted to talk to her.

I know shes not the kind of girl that would like it if i just kissed her out of nowhere. Trust me.

The reason why i didnt make it clear how much i wanted her was because she told me to give her time because she was seeing someone else and she wasnt sure if it was working out with them.

Then after she said she didnt want to date for a while.

 

i feel like im over her, but i still like her you know. Im not that shy when im alone with a girl. i dont feel it would have worked out between us, were pretty different when i think about it.

ill be fine

that is all.

[MetallicAguy]

You should have grabbed her, kissed her, and said, "I dunno, what do you think?"

Dig, i respect some of the stuff you have to say because its true, but **** like that is stupid. No one ever does that in real life, that's the sorta stuff that comes out of those online ebooks telling you how to date. I would expect something like that from a cheesy bs romance movie to be honest haha.

 

Asphyxia, she's not interested man. Sorry.

[Dating Coach]

Dig, i respect some of the stuff you have to say because its true, but **** like that is stupid. No one ever does that in real life, that's the sorta stuff that comes out of those online ebooks telling you how to date. I would expect something like that from a cheesy bs romance movie to be honest haha.

 

Metallic, I was joking bro! That's why my next line was, "To get serious..." :splat:

[MetallicAguy]

Alright, well its not too obvious reading that kinda stuff over the net. haha

[Taomagicdragon]

If you both had enough interest than she would have made the move if you hadn't (the garbage that maintains guys must make the moves first always is as out-dated as all black people can't swim and and all women should be bare-foot and pregnant).

Sometimes confessing your feelings is the way to go if it's inline with your personality afterall it's how I go about things and I do just fine.

 

Trying to be something you aren't is a real problem so if you're shy then be shy as lying to her by acting extroverted can have far worse ramifcations.. I'd rather be rejected for who I am than be accepted for who I'm not.

 

You both have some feelings but if neither of you step it up they will be just feelings. So either you or her have to make the first move and seeing as she doesn't seem to frequent these boards then I'll give the advice to you you lucky dog.

 

Ask her out in your own way (movies.. coffee.. a walk in the park on a fine autumn eve... some even like shopping as a date (you each spend your own money obviously) and with Black Friday coming up it makes a perfect shopping day).

 

The best thing you can do is take all the advice here with a grain of salt and measure against your own personality and don't change who you are or try to deny it in order to take the advice.. if the advice can't be applied to you then it's not good advice...

 

Look at the opposite of shy.. being socially confident.

 

From there you can either be proud of yourself and assertive... or you be full of hubris.. both rely on the same quality but it depends on how you use it to end in vastly different results.. the same goes with being shy.

 

Shyness is as valid a personaility type as any other and anyone that claims it to be more akin to sometihng that needs to be fixed is.. quite franky.. wrong. (note: don't try include sociopaths or bigotry in this group as those are not personality types but prejudices and off shoots of other nuetral personality types)

 

It's how you use that shyness that can make it beneficial or detrimental to your emotional health.

 

I am a shy guy but use it to be unassuming and receptive.. to listen and observe all things around me then give my opinions in a well thought out manner without prejudice becuase a fact is a fact no matter if you're cocky or withdrawn.

 

I take it for what it's worth but be you and be it well.

[Asphyxia]

I realize that it wouldnt work out between us. I see the way she is with her boyfriend right now, they arent around each other often and shes like all over the place. I just dont get her.

 

i wanted to be friends but shes being such a... * * * * *.

i dont know why. She slaps me in the face randomly and she sometimes ignores me and gives me an attitude for no reason. It pisses me off because she wasnt doing this before. I mean come on, we were never even together what the * * * * is wrong with this person??