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[timeless2461]

Hi everyone I've been needing advice on an age gap issue and I thought this would be a good place to seek advice.

 

For the past six years I have been in love with a man who was my teacher. At first when I was 13 and he was my teacher I just regarded my feelings as a schoolgirl crush, something that would eventually go away. After I graduated I no longer saw him on a regular basis considering I was in a different school. However, I always went back to visit. When I was his student we got along splendidly, we had great conversations whenever the class had breaks and we always looked forward to see eachother. He confided in me and I in him and it never reached an inappropriate point. After I graduated I would go to visit occasionally and we would still have great conversations, and as I grew older some flirting took place. It was established that we both think the other is attracive (he does not know my true feelings though). We soon began buying eachother xmas and birthday gifts and just saving them until we saw eachother. I know that he talks about me to his class because whenever I come to visit they go "oh you're the smart girl he's always talking about." Last year I went to visit after a six month period of not and he hugged me tightly and said "omg its been 6 months." Apparently we were very flrity that day because his class thought I was his girlfriend, and when they asked him he didn't really deny it, he just laughed and said "yup my 18 year old girlfriend" but the class understood he was kidding.

I have had boyfriends and been on dates and things of that nature, but my feelings have always been with him no matter how hard I try to forget it. He was married once many years ago but she had cancer and passed away. He has had 2 girlfriends since then, but they didn't work out. He is a wonderful man. Sometimes I feel like when he looks at me he sees me as something more than just a girl who was his student. He told me once that what we have was more than jsut a ex student/teacher relaionship.

I have not seen him since October '05. I miss him terribly and I know we are perfect for eachother. I honestly could not imagine my life without him. However, I feel funny visiting all the time, what if he doesn't like me and here I am visiting all the time. I think he may like me but is afraid that I would think he's weird for making a move. I do not know what to do, I can't just forget him. Does it sound like he's interested? If so what should I do? Any and all advice is welcome.

[Baby Carrot]

It sounds to me like he's interested!

 

Why haven't you seen him since last year? What a heartache.

 

If I were you, I'd dare to make the first move. If you don't dare to say it to his face, why don't you say it thru the net? I think MSN is a great place to clear that up.

 

You're both legal now, right?

 

I don't don't see why wouldn't you just try and give it a shot.

 

Let us know how it goes!

[BellaDonna]

Hi there and welcome to enotalone.

 

After I graduated I no longer saw him on a regular basis considering I was in a different school. However, I always went back to visit

 

You are an adult now and can make your own decisions. I would suggest though, that if you are going to pursue this man, DO NOT do so at his place of work. Find another means to contact him.

 

Even if it is "legal" for him to be with you now- he could still lose his job over this at the school. You also don't want all of his students talking about this and tainting his reputation. You don't want him to be percevied as a "pervert". That could very well happen if word gets around in the school that his ex-student is dating him.

 

Take this out of the school context, completely.

 

Also ask yourself, is it really HIM that you adore, or was it the context- the attention- the boost in self-esteem from an older professional man admiring you? I don't want to be pessimistic, but prepare yourself for the possibility that if you did have a relationship with him someday, it may not be as wonderful as you think it might be. Sometimes things change when your fantasies become reality and you realize you may have been wearing rose-colored glasses.

 

BellaDonna

[colors]

I say pursue it, you will always wonder what could have been if you don't.

Stop by his work 1 last time & ask him out for coffee.

[AwdreeHpburn]

Hey timeless - (great, appropriate name) Welcome to ENA!!!

 

My advice to you is to go for it. With all barrells. You only live once. You're only young once. You can't hesitate on a moment like this.

 

If you're wrong or misreading the situation, it will be horribly embarrassing for such a short time that you two will be back being friends before you know it. HE will make sure of that.

 

What ever his actual feelings for you are, it's apparent that you are someone special to him.

 

I say put yourself out there and see what happens.

 

Put the WORST that could happen aside and take the risk. You'll be happier you did no matter the turn-out!

[timeless2461]

hey everyone thanx for the replies. I too agree that I should not pursue him in his work place, which is why I do not want to go back. I would love to email him but I do not have his email address. I really need to contact him somehow someway.

[flower99]

hey everyone thanx for the replies. I too agree that I should not pursue him in his work place, which is why I do not want to go back. I would love to email him but I do not have his email address. I really need to contact him somehow someway.

 

maybe 1 more stop there, to get his email???