Help! I wasnt ready and i met someone else...

[DaZednCoNfUzEd]

I dont know if im writing this in the right place but here it goes...please comment

 

 

I am currently in a delimma. Me and my boyfriend (whom i want to break up with) have been together for about 1 1/2 years. If you have read some of my older post you might know that i havent really been sure about our relationship. I met someone about a week after he went off shore to work. I feel really bad and unsure. I want to break up with him, not only b.c of this other guy but becouse i really dont think im ready for this relationship. Hes almsot 23 and im only 16.We had a great relationship. He doesnt think the age difference is a big deal. But its starting to get to me. I dont need any extra stress. Things like he needs someone more his age and hes starting college in the spring, and im not the one he needs.

 

The thing is, i know he loves me and he'll understand, but i feel like if i commited myself too him (which i kinda did), then im wrong for breaking up with him. I mean ive been having doubts about me not being ready, i know im not ready to settle down, i thought i was. ive never talked to him about it..i know its childish and i know i should have. I guess I just feel held back. He's done all his S**T. He's been to his prom. He's done pretty much everything ive yet to experience. He's been to the clubs. Hes always tellin me how im going to get tired of them after awhile, and i know that its just i want to enjoy the time i have to be a teenager. I know thats not whats important but Im growing up waaay to fast. SO I dont think its for the wrong reasons and i know i shouldnt feel bad b.c im looking out for myself but we've made plans for the future and getting married and he says im the only one he wants ( i know he can move on) but still....im scared to hurt him. Ive I dont know what to tell him..I started this. It was my immaturity that led me to make this decision. Am i wrong? Please give me some advice.

 

I think i will be alot happier if we wasnt together. Its not him..its me. Cliche or not.

Im starting to really like this other guy. We have created great chemical reactions...haha. I feel exuberated when im around him. Im so much happier. Its like a weight has been lifted. I dont have as many worries as i had with my Bf. Even if we dont work out, i feel like he has open another door for me. I look at my relationships differently. I shoulnt be tied down to one person. Dont get me wrong. I know i should have thought about this 2 yrs ago before i even got into a serious relationship with a man. But also My soon-to-be Ex understood that im still young and have plenty of partying to do but i want to share and enjoy it with someone who hasnt, yet, ya know? LEt me know what yall think. Im sure you will agree with how i feel. But how do i tell him? I know ive put myself in this position, and i wasnt ready to begin with. I just feel lost. I love and care deeply for him, im..just not happy.

I guess just like i told you guys but its not that easy ive let him to believe i will always be with him and i will never leave him. What do i do? Please Help me..

[jordanlozzy]

It sounds like that you have already made up your mind with regards to breaking up with him. I would say that you are very wise. If a relationship makes you unhappy then there is no point in staying in it as you will end up hurting yourself and hurting the other person more in the long-run.

 

I think what you need now though is to experience life, and by this I mean not starting to see this other guy straight away. You need time to make sure that it's not just a make me feel good rebound relationship as this would end in tears as well or even put you back in the same situation as you are in now.

 

When I was 18 I had my first child and I married at 19, by 20 our relationship was over and now I am struggling so I don't think it is unwise for you to want to do all the things he has done and experience them too the full.

I never had the chance to do all those things and I now wish that I had.

 

16 is very young to make such big decissions about who you want to spend the rest of your life with and it is a decission that shouldn't be taken lightly. Everyone changes so much over time, especially when they are young so the chances are you would gradually drift apart anyway. There are very few relationships that I have heard of who have been together since your age and that is why.

 

I have to say that your current boyfriend is right, you will get tired of the clubs after a while but this is something you need to find out for yourself.

 

If you ask me you need time on your own, to not only heal after this relationship ends but to find out who you are as a person and what direction you want to take.

 

Good luck

xxx

[Momene]

I'd say the difference between 23 and 16 is big but the difference between 14 and 21 is simply huge. I think he was being manipulative for seeking a relationship with someone so young. You are totally right that you are at different stages of life and I don't think it's good for either of you. You should split. Whether you date the other guy or not doesn't come into it but PLEASE dump your boyfriend before starting with him. Being dumped for someone else is very soul destroying. I've done it and had it done to me and it isn't nice at all.

 

When I met my wife (2nd) we were 33 and 25, which is a slightly larger gap than you but she'd already done all the stuff that your boyfriend has done and you want to do. He's right, BTW, but you need to experience it for yourself.