jordanlozzy

It sounds like that you have already made up your mind with regards to breaking up with him. I would say that you are very wise. If a relationship makes you unhappy then there is no point in staying in it as you will end up hurting yourself and hurting the other person more in the long-run. I think what you need now though is to experience life, and by this I mean not starting to see this other guy straight away. You need time to make sure that it's not just a make me feel good rebound relationship as this would end in tears as well or even put you back in the same situation as you are in now. When I was 18 I had my first child and I married at 19, by 20 our relationship was over and now I am struggling so I don't think it is unwise for you to want to do all the things he has done and experience them too the full. I never had the chance to do all those things and I now wish that I had. 16 is very young to make such big decissions about who you want to spend the rest of your life with and it is a decission that shouldn't be taken lightly. Everyone changes so much over time, especially when they are young so the chances are you would gradually drift apart anyway. There are very few relationships that I have heard of who have been together since your age and that is why. I have to say that your current boyfriend is right, you will get tired of the clubs after a while but this is something you need to find out for yourself. If you ask me you need time on your own, to not only heal after this relationship ends but to find out who you are as a person and what direction you want to take. Good luck xxx

Well it had been 10 days and i haven't mentioned anything at all too him and then last night he said that he would be going out on a tuesday for xmas. He said it would be with 1 person and that he was male, he never mentioned that she would be going at all. I just said when you want to tell me the truth then we will talk about it and he still maintained that it was with this 1 man. I told him that I knew it was in a small group and that she would be there. I didn't mention how I had found out and he said the reason he withheld that information was because he didn't want it too upset me. I said that I was past caring about her-as this advice forum has really helped me do that, and that he should be more honest with me in future as i have really lost trust in him now and to be honest I'm not sure if I can get that trust back now. It feels like it has been totally destroyed because in a way I did expect him to lie to me. Maybe I am wrong for thinking this but as zoom said if it is totally on the up and up? Today I am hurting and I feel like this old wound has been opened again. I think what makes it worse is that he didn't say sorry, well he did but after about half hour of us talking about all of this I said I can't believe you haven't said sorry. It was only then that he said it. What do I do now???????

What you need to keep thinking and telling yourself is that he is in a relationship with YOU. Not because he is forced to be but because he wants to be. There is a reason he was with his ex's yeah of course there is but there is also a reason why they are now ex's. I think you need to have a heart to heart with him and tell him exactly what you are feeling but most importantly why you feel this way. This way you can work out together what he can do to make you feel more secure in your relationship. Ideas for this might be like calling you or a text when he is out just to make sure you are okay and let you know what he is up to. There are loads of little ways you can feel more secure in a relationship but first you need to talk and discover which situations make you feel most uneasy, then you will be able to find a way around that. Best of luck. xxx

ok it is a few days later and he still hasnt said that they will be going out again, hasnt mentioned it at all. Do I ask him or wait? I suppose if I wait then I will find out if he will lie to me about it or not. Any thoughts?

have been with my boyfriend for just under a year now.About 3 months into our relationship he was invited out by some of the people in his office. I am unsure of why but I felt a little uneasy about him going. None the less he went and came home again afterwards and said he had had a good evening and everything was normal between us. Even so I still couldnt get my suspicions out of my head. A few days later he came home and said he had been out for a drink with this 1 girl who was there on the night out as she had a bad day at work and wanted to talk about it. I immedietly got suspicious. The next morning I went through his text messages on his mobile. I found 1 message to her in the sent box that read something like " If it had been 6 months ago it would have been different but things are complicated now." I walked out the house and he emailed me from work to say that she had asked him out on that night and they had gone for a drink so he could let her down gently. Naturally when the next wok do came along a couple of weeks later I was apprehensive about him going. He went and I found later that they had kissed even though he says it was only a peck. He said that as I mean so much to him he wouldnt see her again. Now I find he has been emailing her and they are all going out again before xmas, he hasnt told me yet and doesnt know that I know. Am I being silly?