Shoved back in the face

[Nick_t]

Hey guys, I sent it in the end and chatted to her online for a bit.

 

I wanted to be grown up about it so I initiated contact and said Hi, so she responded. We talked for about 1/2 hour then she went for a bit and came back after being on the phone and we chatted for another 10 mins. It was an ok chat, but a little awkward. I asked if she got my e-mail, she said yes, i asked if it made sense and she said yes again. So when i left i said well have a nice day tomorrow, i'll leave it there for now, don't know what u think of it all, but least u know i do care and want to continue having a quality time when i see u, night night.

 

She said bye, and i logged off. I didn't have a convo with her bout the e-mail, I just had a general convo about her weekend, bout this week and bout me. It wasn't too bad, she became more chatty as we went along.

 

To me this was all I could do and I didn't push it any further. So I will leave it again for a while, but at least she has got the e-mail, know how i feel and it is in her court what to do next.

 

Do you think I have done the right thing? Because I have those Monday morning blues back at work and still have this grey cloud lingering over me which is constantly making me down! Cheers guys

[Nick_t]

Hi guys,

 

I could really do with some advice or help as what to do. Every morning I wake up and go into work depressed.

 

I feel so worn out of thinking about all of this all the time. In the evenings I am not so bad.

 

I invited her as a friend before I sent the e-mail the other night onto my facebook page/myspace page. She confirmed, but when she had to put down how she knew me, she put we dated from 2004 2006, were practically married, now we aren't speaking. Last night I confirmed the first two bits but deleted the we aren't speaking to eachother and waiting for her to confirm.

 

However when she would have put that would have been before we spoke for a little online.

 

The thing is, if you read my last couple of posts I really need motivation, help and a massive pick me up.

 

I don't know what to do, its such a shame that we aren't speaking after getting on so well and that is what made me so sad.

 

Please help x

[majord23]

Nick,

I'm going to be blunt here mate - you need to stop focussing on her.

You are relying solely on her for your happiness. You are entrenched in a mindset that has you looking for any little sign within her communication that could give you hope.

The sooner you take control of yourself and your emotions, the sooner you will see that letting her go (and I mean really letting her go) is the first massive step forward.

 

Do what is best for you - stop worrying about how she may perceive anything you do. This isn't about her anymore.

 

There are so many people on the boards that have been in the same position that you are in right now. Ask the ones who have come through it just when they started to feel better - and I bet the majority of them will tell you it was the day that they stopped focussing on their ex and started focussing on Number 1.

[Nick_t]

This is very true, I want to stop focusing on her, and when I do stop I am so much better for it, but I only stop when I am with my mates at night or at the weekends. I am fed up being like you say entrenched in this mindset and need to let go. I suppose I am hurting because I don't want to let go, and don't want to lose her, and this is what is stopping me. She said she never wanted to lose me so I know she cares and still does care, so I suppose that is what is keeping me back. I need to forget about that and let her make up her mind. I just saw her briefly and waved and she waved back (not taking it as a sign or whatever, just showing I know she does still care as I know her better than anyone) and I just need the strength to let go and stop thinking about her all the time!

 

I wish there was a switch where you could stop altogether and let things be and what they are. Some people I know can do that, I however am finding it really difficult.

 

I am angry with myself that I thought I had started control over my emotions and getting back on the road but this whole not really speaking thing is killing me and brought me back to where I am now. I am angry I have let it get to me and making me sad. I miss her but there is nothing I can do - I just need to get my strength back and I suppose I just want to be loved again. I want to get rid of this horrible feeling I get everyday!