Poof she is gone??

[annie24]

yeah, things with her don't sound too promising. I hope you meet someone special.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

Yeah, I think you should have been more clear.

 

For instance, you say that you called to formally invite her to a movie but she didn't answer. What you don't say is, "So, I left her a voice message asking her to go to a movie with me this weekend." Then she called you back to ask what you were up to. So you must not have actually asked her out specifically for a date.

 

Sounds like you're taking a passive role in this.

 

If you want a date with the girl, you must ask her for a specific date. Ask her as soon as possible, and ask her as far in advance of the requested date as possible. In other words, now-ish (at a reasonable hour, though) would be a great time to ask her to reserve next Saturday night to go out to a movie with you.

 

You do have another alternative, keep doing what you're doing, and don't end up dating her. Keep being passive and/or unclear with every woman you meet, and keep wondering why you never seem to seal the deal. It's your life, your choice. There will always be people who will tell you what you're doing is ok, but you're the one who will live with the consequences.

[annie24]

I agree. good advice!

[AquaMan23]

Ok friends. You both make good points. I think that is what I was doing wrong. I learned and now know what I need to do. She told me that I was not trying hard enough to get her. That a girl really needs to be pursued. I thought I was, but obviously not.

 

But I have other info to tell you. Pretty much every bit of logic that I knew about girls got thrown out the door late last night. I ended up seeing the girl last night at my friend’s party. I went there with her and her friends. I talked to her a little but mostly to my other friends. At the end of the night, she tells me that I am acting standoffish. To which I agree because I had lost interest at that point. And she was flirting with other guys, which didn’t help.

 

So we get into a serious discussion and she explains to me that she isn’t looking to date me right now. That I am a great guy, handsome, and funny but it just isn’t going to work out. That she is too busy and most guys are not worth her time. (bad past relationship). I was totally cool about it explained to her that was fine, but don’t miss out on great people over your career. And don’t assume that all of us guys are bad, cheaters, etc. I could of walked away at anytime during this point, but I decided to listen to her and learn for what I was doing wrong. Might as well chalk it up as experience.

 

Ok you are all prob bored by now so let me get to the point. So after two hours or so of talking this out, she ends up all over me and she spends the night. I still don’t know what I did to change her mind from I don’t want to date you to I want you! If it was some sort of test on her part I have no idea. I was just myself and honest with her. Haa I even told her at one point that we can just be friends and I will help her find the right guy for her.

So there you go. From a few good dates, to I don’t want to date you, to I want you bad! I asked her what all that was about this morning and she said don't be mean. (insert confused face here) Take note guys. Girls logic has no logic sometimes. Just go with the flow, be persistent with what you want and be yourself.

 

Good day.

[heloladies21]

This has got to be one of the most amazing turnarounds I've ever heard about. See? That's what persistence gets you G!

[annie24]

she sounds a bit messed up.

[AquaMan23]

Haa....thanks Annie. I think it was just her way of weeding out the guys that are really interested in her and willing to put in the effort required to date her. Although I have never encountered a girl with this approach. Who knows.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

This is what I think. She really likes (or liked) you. You made very little effort to persue her. She decided that was not what she wanted so she tried to break it off with you, and since she still liked you, she tried to entice you into liking her more.

 

Basically she likes (liked) you more than you do her, and that is not going to make for a healthy relationship. Be honest with her about the fact that you don't like her as much as she seems to want you to, and break it off firmly, not fair to use her.

[Lion-Guy]

Basically she likes (liked) you more than you do her, and that is not going to make for a healthy relationship. Be honest with her about the fact that you don't like her as much as she seems to want you to, and break it off firmly, not fair to use her.

 

 

Why would he have persued her even after she turned him down if he didn't like her a lot? How do you figure Teddy? Just trying to understand your logic.

[AquaMan23]

Well the first part may be correct, but I have no way of knowing if she likes me more. And I don't know how Teddy came up with that. Interesting insight

 

I don't plant to user her Teddy. I am a gentlemen and only plan to treat her accordingly. I do like her very much, but didn't want to reveal too much interest and feelings early in the dating process. I do know is that she likes me and I like her and I am thankful for that fact that we click and things are going well thus far.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

Well the first part may be correct, but I have no way of knowing if she likes me more. And I don't know how Teddy came up with that. Interesting insight

 

I don't plant to user her Teddy. I am a gentlemen and only plan to treat her accordingly. I do like her very much, but didn't want to reveal too much interest and feelings early in the dating process. I do know is that she likes me and I like her and I am thankful for that fact that we click and things are going well thus far.

 

Well because you've been passive about not asking her out for a specific date, and also reacted as if you weren't phased a bit when she said it wasn't working out as is, That's where!

[AquaMan23]

That makes sense, but there is more to the story that may have been conveyed here. I did take her out on two dates, of which I was specific that it was a date and to meet me at a certain time and place. It was after she cancelled one of our dates that I became less interested and willing to put myself out there like I had in the beginning.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

Well, cancelling a date in and of itself is not really a bad thing, if there was some good reason, so you shouldn't be punishing her for it-- unless you mean that there were circumstances that made it unacceptable for her to cancel?