What did you do when you just broke up?

[in_love]

What things did you guys do in the early stages of the break-up and how did it make you feel?

 

here are some things I have found make things much worse.

 

1) Sleeping with other people doesnt change anything - makes it worse!

 

2) Drinking doesnt do a thing - you sober up and nothing has changed

 

3) Dating other girls does NOT do anything - good for the night till you're reminded (I started comparing my date with the ex) of the ex

 

I have tried all 3, nothing has changed I feel and dread the weekend. for over 3 weeks now we've been broken up, for about a week there I felt really great. Now I feel like a mess.

 

Going to gym tonight. I think I will lay off the booze and concentrate more on constructive activities.

[Biffy]

The first couple of days after my break up I drank my body weight in Jack Daniels, smoked a ridiculous amount of weed met up with an old FWB etc.

 

I basically lived like I was a member of Motley Crue for a couple of days.

 

Then I got my head back on straight, hit the gym, started eating again, knocked the booze on the head and concentrated on finding myself again.

 

It's ok to fall down in the wake of a break up it's just not ok to stay down there.

[sparkle1]

I think everyone is different, and all depends on the break up you had.

 

Personally i cried until i couldn't cry anymore...then i went numb...i couldn't eat or sleep and was signed off work for 3 weeks!!

 

I think trying to keep yourself occupied is fine...but it'll only work a little while. I didn't rebound as i know i wouldn't be being fair on the next guy i got with as i would still be hurt and in love with my ex.

 

I'm a year post break up = and i am stil not ready to get into a relationship!! I have flings with men...but don't want more.

 

I think generally there is an expectation for you to move on pretty quickly. But, i also think you need to allow yourself "me time" and only then to you heal completely and can move on.

 

Going to the gym helped me big time, so did throwing my self into work and friends.

 

You'll get there.....just give yourself time!!

[papalazarou]

From another thread....

[eleanorrigby1]

I cried so hard i vomited. I then went to the shop bought a packet of cigarettes and chain smoked while asking everyone that would listen "why?> why? i dont understand why?" going over the break up conversation constantly, crying, vomiting, drinking large quantities of wine. sleep, wake, drink, cry, vomit, smoke. This lasted for about three days.

 

I went back to work, got busy, met my friends at lunch time, went to their houses for tea in the evening, anything to keep me busy. I couldnt eat properly for weeks. Then I went on holiday for a week, last minute deal to Magaluf, got drunk every night, had a holiday fling, had fun with my best mate, came home, applied to college, got my name down on the housing list, began the plan to move out on my own.

 

Got my own flat a few months later, started my college course, stayed single for two years. I am not a year into a relationship, living with my new boyfriend, in my final year of my degree and loving life!

 

It takes time, it took me YEARS to properly recover, but I did.

 

Find something you want to do, a goal (Like me with my degree and moving out of my parents house) and it gives you a future (without them) to plan.

 

Good luck x

[bobo85]

Let time take its course and spend a lot of time with your family and friends. Feel the pain because thats the only way to feel better. Hopefully you keep yourself busy so that your mind isn't only occupied with the breakup.

[locolady]

hehe what didnt i do!

 

cried

threw up

threw things

cried

shouted, screamed, stamped my feet!

cried some more

lost a stone because i couldnt eat

phoned him to cry

 

finally, i quit my job and flew to Nepal, lived in a mud hut and taught english at an orphanage for 3 months.

 

came home, realised he hadnt missed me....cried a whole lot more!

felt guilty for being sad after humbling travel experiences

 

since then i have

taken up french evening classes and started to learn the guitar, finally made plans to go back to uni next year

 

BUT i have a long way to go!

 

keeping busy is definitely the best thing and slowly slowly i am feeling happier but i'd still give anything to have the cheating rat back! nothing fills the hole and i still cant contemplate another relationship. some scars run very deep!

[vesper]

What things did you guys do in the early stages of the break-up and how did it make you feel?

 

here are some things I have found make things much worse.

 

1) Sleeping with other people doesnt change anything - makes it worse!

 

2) Drinking doesnt do a thing - you sober up and nothing has changed

 

3) Dating other girls does NOT do anything - good for the night till you're reminded (I started comparing my date with the ex) of the ex

 

I have tried all 3, nothing has changed I feel and dread the weekend. for over 3 weeks now we've been broken up, for about a week there I felt really great. Now I feel like a mess.

 

Going to gym tonight. I think I will lay off the booze and concentrate more on constructive activities.

 

hi it felt really surreal at the beginning like the world was coming to an end or just beginning. but then it felt euphoric after I figured out I was going to be ok. then today it just ended the euphoria that is..

 

Ive gained weight i think I am the only person on the PLANEt that actually gains weight after/during a Break-up!

[moonflowers]

Wow. I was starting a new quarter in school after my breakup. First week was Spring Break, spent quietly at home, and I appeared fine. Got back to school, where I was constantly reminded of being with the ex, plus running into him every so often, and fell apart after two weeks of denial.

 

On any given day during that quarter, it was:

Eat

Shower

Complete Homework

Sleep

 

Pick only 3 of the 4. (At least I didn't go and get wasted... that would have probably knocked it down to 2 of 4... )

 

I still don't know how I passed that quarter, but I was a miserable wreck, crying a ton at random times, especially at night/on weekends. I lost 10 lbs due to a combination of both working out and my stomach's outright rejection of food.

 

I heard somewhere that the worst is the first week, and then after that the first month. If you've survived that much, then you are definitely made of stuff that can survive all the rest! Ignore other folks telling you to "just snap out of it," and take recovery at your own pace. As long as you're determined to get over it, it will end someday.

[SkylinesTurnstiles]

Well i cried casuse i felt bad for breaking up with him after about three years on and off and then got over it.He treated me bad and i dont need him like the song *I dont need a man to make me feel good*hehehe except you can change it in your head to i dont need a girl...Lol

 

But everyones is different so if anyone tells you to just get over it punch them and very nicley tell them to leave And stay away from the booze it just makes it worse

[whoops]

well looked for job was planning to anyway - ended up going abroad or soon to be and realised that it was all a waste of time when he wanted me i was there when i wanted him he wasnt all the same pattern for 4 years so learning to do things without the idea of him -

 

So moving to new place - didnt speak to friends about break up for a month then did the blaster and told them all - went out met other people and made new friends - joined a meet up group and accepted all invites i got if not kept busy with my own things - happy and sad really !

 

Like one of you mentioned above they dont really care so forget wanting them to - notes etc all crap they go off on their own and o their own thing - you are key?

[lost1607307474]

You just need to relax, force all negativity out of your mind and welcome positive thoughts instead. Spend time with YOURSELF, give yourself some 'you' time. Redefine yourself as in YOU instead of defining yourself as your partner. Patience and time are the key factors to getting over things like this. You'll be right.