can i still get my ex boyfriend back?

[arizonababe]

my ex-boyfriend and i have been together for 9 months and dated for 2 and a half years. he's 25 and i'm 21. we just broke up 2 months ago, b/c he said he didn't want to be in a committed relationship right now. we still were doing everything that b/f and g/f do except without the title till about 2 days ago, when i found out for the past 2 weeks he's been dating a 19 year old! i just want some advice on how to get him back and wanting to be in a committed relationship,,,,or is it just hopeless???

[chedchase]

arizonababe...

I haven't seen it all (I'm 23) and I don't know it all but what I can tell you is that guys will walk all over you, even if they love you, if you let them. See, he doesn't have to be in a committed relationship to get what he wants, does he? He still has you and he has the ability to see other people, like this 19 year old.

 

don't take this the wrong way, girls can become very insecure about who they are and they become dependent on guys, especially at our age. I am not saying that this is you, but right now you are letting him get away with taking advantage of you.

 

I've done this to girls in the past, but not been with anyone at the same time, I just explored other options knowing that the one girl would still be there. You aren't going anywhere..and he knows that. Then, I learned a valuable lesson when I dated a girl at college. I tried to pull the same thing and when I broke it off with her, she bailed. Didn't pick up her phone, didn't call me...or anything. Right then is when I realized that I made a big mistake and that I wasn't dealing with an a girl that had confidence, that had her own identity and didn't need me.

You know what happened? I came crawling back apologizing and I really had to work to prove to her that I made a mistake.

 

Once you pull the plug on this guy, he'll learn what he has. If he doesn't...just know that he made a drastic mistake in giving you up and trying to walk all over you.

 

Prove to him that you don't need him and just watch....

 

Also:

What's the point in being in this kind of relationship? So, you can be hurt over and over again while he gets everything he had while in a relationship with you and then some?

 

Even if it kills you and it probably will...try putting some distance between you two. Let him know that these games won't fly with you.

 

You deserve better. Just like everyone else that gets used like a doormat.

 

There's a lot of us good guys out there that know how you want to be treated. It could be him, but the only way he'll realize that is if you take control.

 

Look out for yourself...let me know when he comes crawling back.