Trinitea1228 Posted November 10, 2006 Author Share Posted November 10, 2006 First I would like to say that I have received a few comments that have been comforting to me in one way or another. I am very glad that I signed up to this site. It is so wonderful to hear other peoples views on these issues, whether or not I agree!! In fact I need to see both sides in every story. Thats just me. Ever since he has expressed these certain fantasies or how much they actually meant to him our marraige lost something in my eyes. I dont think that it is fair to him, but I can not help the way I feel. Does anyone WANT to feel insecure or unloved!? I mean, come on here... He seems to think I can turn these feelings on and off. It has become a cancer... He doesnt even understand how big of an issue it is to me. Can someone just tell me how can I feel sexy and loved when I know he thinks about other women???? I know a lot of men and woman can feel sexy and loved knowing such things... How do you do it? How do you accept that this has nothing to do how much he loves and wants you? Link to comment
Beec Posted November 10, 2006 Share Posted November 10, 2006 Trinitea1228, have you actually spoken to him about how you feel? Have you told him that you just cannot do this because even the thought of him thinking about another woman bothers you? If not, do it, and maybe you'll see that your man accepts that BECAUSE he loves you. Link to comment
Trinitea1228 Posted November 10, 2006 Author Share Posted November 10, 2006 thats just it i have talked to him about it and if anything he has expressed that it would upset/disappoint him if we never did it Link to comment
Beec Posted November 10, 2006 Share Posted November 10, 2006 thats just it i have talked to him about it and if anything he has expressed that it would upset/disappoint him if we never did it Well, I am disappointed that my woman does not want to do some other things sexually, but that does not I am going to force her to do it. Link to comment
doyathink Posted November 10, 2006 Share Posted November 10, 2006 If that is the case then you may not be able to get over this. Man, I dont know....if your the type of person that cant live with it, then you do have the option of leaving, which I think by the sounds of your posts you would rather not because you love him. Link to comment
Trinitea1228 Posted November 10, 2006 Author Share Posted November 10, 2006 That just isn't fair to me beec because I am not disappointed at all about anything that my husband does not wanna do. I feel like I deserve to be with someone that is happy with me and what I offer... and if there is no one out there that can offer me that maybe I should be alone in life.. Link to comment
Beec Posted November 10, 2006 Share Posted November 10, 2006 That just isn't fair to me beec because I am not disappointed at all about anything that my husband does not wanna do. I feel like I deserve to be with someone that is happy with me and what I offer... and if there is no one out there that can offer me that maybe I should be alone in life.. Life is not always fair. Your husband should be able to acept that you do not want to fulfill his fantasy. You'll need to accept that he has it. If either of you cannot do this, then maybe you won't be together. Link to comment
Trinitea1228 Posted November 10, 2006 Author Share Posted November 10, 2006 from someone who has been raped multiple times by more then one person and physically and emotionally abused for years i think I can say I understand that life isnt always fair a lot more then some people out there. but as a man why wouldnt you want to do what ever you can to make your woman happy? even to the point of expelling certain fantasies. I mean would it really kill a man to let them go when they come up? Link to comment
Trinitea1228 Posted November 10, 2006 Author Share Posted November 10, 2006 would it be that hard to not be disappointed that some fantasies will never happen. Disappointment in a lover over sex is a STRONG word and goes straight to the heart. imagine your woman telling you she has a fantasy that your * * * * was bigger cause it just isnt cutting it. Link to comment
Beec Posted November 10, 2006 Share Posted November 10, 2006 You cannot change the fact that he said what he said. He will not be able to just erase the idea from his mind. You both need to either accept things as they are, or decide you cannot. As far as the rest of it, he's the one you need to talk to, not me. Link to comment
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