Trinitea1228

would it be that hard to not be disappointed that some fantasies will never happen. Disappointment in a lover over sex is a STRONG word and goes straight to the heart. imagine your woman telling you she has a fantasy that your * * * * was bigger cause it just isnt cutting it.

from someone who has been raped multiple times by more then one person and physically and emotionally abused for years i think I can say I understand that life isnt always fair a lot more then some people out there. but as a man why wouldnt you want to do what ever you can to make your woman happy? even to the point of expelling certain fantasies. I mean would it really kill a man to let them go when they come up?

That just isn't fair to me beec because I am not disappointed at all about anything that my husband does not wanna do. I feel like I deserve to be with someone that is happy with me and what I offer... and if there is no one out there that can offer me that maybe I should be alone in life..

thats just it i have talked to him about it and if anything he has expressed that it would upset/disappoint him if we never did it

First I would like to say that I have received a few comments that have been comforting to me in one way or another. I am very glad that I signed up to this site. It is so wonderful to hear other peoples views on these issues, whether or not I agree!! In fact I need to see both sides in every story. Thats just me. Ever since he has expressed these certain fantasies or how much they actually meant to him our marraige lost something in my eyes. I dont think that it is fair to him, but I can not help the way I feel. Does anyone WANT to feel insecure or unloved!? I mean, come on here... He seems to think I can turn these feelings on and off. It has become a cancer... He doesnt even understand how big of an issue it is to me. Can someone just tell me how can I feel sexy and loved when I know he thinks about other women???? I know a lot of men and woman can feel sexy and loved knowing such things... How do you do it? How do you accept that this has nothing to do how much he loves and wants you?

DAM*IT I just want to feel sexxy to my husband again!!! If I dont it will be the death of us I just know it.

that is what I am wondering.. even when I ask him if he thinks about other women while we are together I know he would not tell me if he really was. it kind of breaks my heart... as much as I love him the thought makes me uncomfortable with him.

Feeling like the one and only in his mind was a turn on to me and made me feel extremely sexxy... How am I supposed to feel sexy when he has to think about other women? Do men mind if their woman is thinking about sleeping with another man?

Please dont think I am trying to be rude or bi*chy about this whole in, in deed I am very open for the most part. I am willing to try most anything to please my man. I in deed also understand that my insecurities are founded on a basic male instinct that is shared by all men.. I cant help that hearing these fantasies have wieghed me down with a negative feeling. I wonder how often he is thinking about other woman or if he does it when we are together.

I fear that if I dont make his fantazies come true though then I am doing him an injustice... When I married him I told myself I would do anything and everything to make him happy and if I dont go through with eveything he wants then he would feel that he was missing out.

I just wonder why any man gets married.. I mean if one woman is not enough to make any one man happy why be with one woman when all most woman wants is one man?

Do you have AIM or AOL... If I could just talk to another man about it and hear how normal it and ask questions maybe it wouldn help.. Please?

what is better about the woman your are fantizing about that would make you want to think of her instead of your womanr?

I am married, going on five years in December... I love my husband more than anything in the world. He is a great man and takes great care of me. In the past year or so I guess our sex life has become routine, because him and I both have been actively persueing new things to do together... curtain fantasies of his have come out that have made me feel uncomfortable and insecure. The thing is that these fantasies that he has are completely normal. In fact I now that pretty much if not all men have the same exact ones. For example, having sex with two women... In fact he has went as far as suggesting or encouraging me having a g/f myself (as I do like woman very much) he has also encouraged the fantasy like idea that we include another woman into our daily relationship... Playfully joking that she could be my wife and live with us... As playful as he makes it sound I know that the idea excites him. The problem? Although I know logically that these are normal fantasies and I know that he loves me I cant help but feel they are hiding some deep seeded craving to be with another woman... I believe that he deserves to have his fantasies like as much as anyone but they make me feel like I am just not enough for him on my own. Everyday that passes since I heard the fantasy leave the safe confides of his mind through his lips and into my heart I have fear more and more that I am not pleasing him enough that one day his need for another woman will persuade him to risk what we have to satisfy his urges. This has become a major problem in my head... To the point that I think about it when we are together, of course the insecurty turns me off. I trust my husband with all my heart, I do... but you are always hearing things.. Like when infidelity occures you more often then not did not see it comeing. Most people when they are cheated on trusted the other and never imagined that such a thing could happen. Even the person that cheated could say they never SEEN it coming. I do trust him, the fear of him leaving me/cheating on me doesnt even bother me as much as just knowing that he wants to touch another woman... It just makes me feel that I am not enough, making me feel that he maybe loves me less then I love him, making the whole idea that we are meant for eachother and had something special a distant confort that I fear I will never get back. It is hard to make love to your husband when you think he is fantasizing about other woman while we are together. I am afraid that this will hurt us in the end, but I cant talk to him about it anymore because nothing gets solved and it only creates a fight because where I am just trying to understand how it does not effect how he feels about me he takes it like I am accusing him of something already. PLEASE HELP ME.. ANYONE... If there is a man out there that can explain in some way... I want to feel close to my husband again. I want to enjoy sex again without pictureing him with someone else. Other then my husband I have always really preferred girls so I dont fantisize about other men otherwise I could just look at as something we both do... but I tried and when I close my eyse my husband is the only man I can see.. Stella