Broke a friendship.

[Silentlyfor]

I just broke a close friendship with a person I dearly trusted. What happened was a girl I was going to see has started to date him. I feel... I feel so sad.

 

He told me just yesterday after a long talk that we had for about 2 hours or so. After which, he broke the news to me. I couldn't even look at him. I went upstairs to my room, had a fit, waiting for him to leave and then called my best friend up to tell him how enraged I was. He came back to hear from somebody else that I ended the friendship with him, stating that their are just some things you do not do to a friend. He called me a * * * * before he left.

 

Now I feel pitable and low. I know I made the right choice, but I feel like loser... I feel like a giant mass of nothing. This is a guy I considered one of my closest friends, for as long as I knew him, anyway, and well as the girl. She lied to me about the reason she did not want to see me. I feel like a complete and utter loser.

 

What's worse... I'm the one that introduced them to each other, initially with contact information. I feel so pathetic. I feel like waste.

[blueangel]

Or you could have brought two soulmates together who were blocked from each other at first because of their consideration of you.

 

Make it up to them later, when your heart means it. Say, "It's really hard for me to let either of you go. I want to try to get past this. I want to see you both have the oppertunity of a different choice of love like you wanted. It just hurts that I had to be the one let go. How could I not be angry and caught off guard by what was happening? But I'm here again to be your friend."

 

For now, let your heart rest. You did nothing horribly wrong and once they feel given the chance of change that they wanted, you can fix and accept the situation and your own situation. Or you can move on- the moving on part is the hardest. The accepting part just requires taking out the selfish element of gain in relationships for another's happiness... and in the end, your own.

[valenski]

Vent, add one to your life experience points and move on.

[Haven]

I don't understand. Why did you leave and have a "fit"? Why didn't you talk to him, and tell him what was bothering you? If he really was one of your closest friends, you at least owe it to him to tell him why you're not going to be his friend anymore.

[charley]

I experienced this exact same situation about 13 years ago.

 

Calm down and just avoid any further meetings or confrontations with your friend or the girl. Just avoid them for at least 2 weeks to a month. Don't talk about them to any 3rd parties anymore.

 

Then, after all your emotions have calmed down, stop and think about what's important. Your friend is important, or will be after you calm down. After 2 weeks to a month have passed, then talk with him. Hopefully you can patch things up with him later. You'll want to later. If you do patch things up later, avoid doing anything with them as a couple because that would be really uncomfortable and painful. Only do things with him when she's not around.

 

In my case, I'm still friends with the guy, but the girl hates both me and him. It would have been better if we all 3 ended up amiably, but given a choice between still being friends with him vs her, I'd choose him anyday and he feels the same about me. Girls are here today, friends are here to stay. Knowing her better, as I now do, I'm fortunate I never got mixed up with her. He's fortunate to have gotten away from her. She was just a headache and the real loser was a 3rd guy who got her preggers and was stuck with her later on. Lucky for me and my friend that neither of us is stuck with her. To top it all off, she went from good looking to immensely fat. I can honestly say that both me and my friend are loads better looking than her now. Ha ha.

 

Also, keep in mind, you never had a chance with this girl (most likely). However, she does apparently fancy him. That isn't his fault. It's just how it is. Don't flush a good friendship over a girl. She's not worth it. After all, you referred to her as "a girl". You didn't refer to her as "a friend". So she was nothing beyond a fantasy to you. She's easily replacable.

 

That said, I never again introduced my friend to any woman I was interested in again. Lesson learned. I'm a reasonably good looking guy now, and was even more so back then, but he was a very good looking guy. If I was stupid enough to introduce him to a girl I wanted, well that was my bad.

 

I'd suggest keeping your better looking friends away from any girls you want until after you've either tried with her and got her secured, or you've tried with her and given up. If she's still a work in progress, then keep your good looking friends away from her.

 

I should add that my friend and I have been closer friends ever since we made up.