A Month In And Im Bored. "/

[xxlilvampxx]

Well, You Might need to know this first: Im My boyfriends first girlfriend.

 

Okaii, Heres the story:

 

Me and my boyfriend have been going out for a month (Today!) and I'm getting fed up of him not doing anything apart from kissing.

 

I still havent met his mum, even though he wants me too, and he hasnt met my parents either, and i want him too.

 

We kiss all the time non stop, but I dislike french kissing, so we dont (I told him).

 

Hes only ever touched my butt once and its just like... Yeh go on you can.

 

Im getting so bored I want to do more. I asked him the other day if he was still nervous about me and he said no... So why cant he just take the next step or something?

 

I want to drop hints to him, but Im unsure how too.

 

I want to stay with him too... but i am getting bored.

 

Please Help?

[Kevin T]

Don't force him. Give him time and he'll come around. If not, then just drop him.

 

BTW, I really like the second line of your signature. It's very true; just most people don't understand or accept it.

[ILovePasta]

ever thought of making some moves of YOUR own?

[xxlilvampxx]

lol, you make it sound simple, But I cant drop him for being tight... Do you no any tips or ideas that i can hint to him?

 

Thanks bout the Signature

[Dating Coach]

I completely understand where you are at lilvamp, and I guarantee he is clueless that it's okay for him to make those moves. He's probably completely worried about disrespecting you. He's clearly inexperienced and as you said, you're his first girlfriend.

 

I just got done talking about something similar on another thread. When I was younger and inexperienced at dating, I had this gorgeous woman out on two dates, both nights she ended up staying the night. We spent the entire night both nights making out, cuddling, etc but I was afraid to make a move for more in fear of offending her. I also wanted to show her that I was not like other guys. I didn't have the confidence to know that if I am unlike other guys, she will know this anyway. She ended up dumping me Sunday Morning.

 

I look back on it now, we were alone, half naked, cuddling, kissing, she would pause and look at me... expectantly, and would even rub my inner theigh... basically screaming at me to make a move to have sex. I didn't. What a fool I was.

 

People who say, why don't you make moves! I don't really buy that. If a girl pushes for more then they run a much higher risk of being labeled a * * * *, plus as men we are more attractive to women when we have confidence to go forward, not stopping every five seconds and asking around if it's okay to move forward a little more. It's a turnoff.

 

lilvamp, I don't know much more you can do except throw more hints out. It totally would kill the moment and the chemistry for you to have to pull him aside and tell him it's okay. How boring. He needs to get on the ball for you and I hope he does because I am sure he is a nice guy. If he can't meet your needs though, it's not going to make you a bad person for moving on. You gotta do what is best for you.

[xxlilvampxx]

But What Hints Can I Give?

[Dating Coach]

Put his hands in his lap and then sit on his lap.

[Batya33]

Sounds like you're more interested in getting "experience" dating than you are interested in him as a person.

[Dating Coach]

Sounds like you're more interested in getting "experience" dating than you are interested in him as a person.

 

Why would you say that to her? That's completely unfair, she likes the guy, but if she's getting frustrated by his inability to advance the relationship forward then that is a legit complaint.

[AwdreeHpburn]

I say he's not at all familiar with how to make the moves and may not be comfortable being the initiater so why don't YOU initiate.

 

Unspoken, as someone said, just move his hands where it's ok for him to put them.

 

If things are getting heated, just whisper to him that is ok for him to touch.

 

How does one "kiss" all the time if french kissing is not involved? I'm NOT judging, I'm just curious. I mean, I get the peck on the cheek thing, but like, making out or kissing all the time....

 

Maybe he's thinking YOU'RE not interested because you don't take it to the "french kissing" level. Maybe FOR HIM it doesn't feel intimate enough. Just a suggestion....

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

How old are you, Original Poster?

[Batya33]

Why would you say that to her? That's completely unfair, she likes the guy, but if she's getting frustrated by his inability to advance the relationship forward then that is a legit complaint.

 

I do not consider what she is asking "advancing the relationship" as it has nothing to do with the friendship part of the relationship. If her focus is to get him to go further s_xually after a month then it is only fair that he know that this is her priority in the relationship. If it were me I would have the patience to get to know the person over time and wait until we were both comfortable with more intimacy. Everyone has their lines to draw - hers seem a bit extreme and a bit one-sided/tunnel-visioned.

[Dating Coach]

Just because it's not how you would handle things doesn't mean she's got tunnel vision or is one-sided. I'm a guy and I understand her position. Intimacy is a huge part of a relationship, as is respect. If he is having trouble becoming more intimate despite signs she is sending towards him then it makes perfect sense that her interest level in him would waver. Plus, if she has to tell him then that too could harm the interest level because who wants to have to guide their partners hand? She likely wants him to be a man and take control. I understand this.

 

If you could tolerate it and have it not be that big of a deal then that is awesome, but don't go and judge people because they have different priorities and expectations. Everybody has preferences in what they think of as attractive, and perhaps for her she's more attracted to a guy who has the confidence to guide things ahead without having to stop and ask for permission.

[Batya33]

To me there's a difference between intimacy and s_x. I was observing that she seems far more interested in how far she can get s_xually than in being truly intimate wiht this person.

 

If you read your post above you are putting in your judgments about what a relationship should be based on the fact that you are a guy. I was simply giving my personal opinion.

[Dating Coach]

To me there's a difference between intimacy and s_x. I was observing that she seems far more interested in how far she can get s_xually than in being truly intimate wiht this person.

 

Agreed, but I took it as her being interested in more intimacy.

 

If you read your post above you are putting in your judgments about what a relationship should be based on the fact that you are a guy. I was simply giving my personal opinion.

 

LOL! You're going to have to explain this better to me because I'm not sure I am keeping up with you.

[Batya33]

Agreed, but I took it as her being interested in more intimacy.

 

 

 

LOL! You're going to have to explain this better to me because I'm not sure I am keeping up with you.

 

You accused me of judging but you were doing the same.

[Dating Coach]

Not negatively. I think it would be best to withhold negative judgements without knowing exactly what is going on.

[Batya33]

You are of course entitled to your opinion and I respectfully disagree. She asked for people's opinions and I gave mine, and you judged mine. That's fine and I respectfully disagree. Have a good weekend!

[xxlilvampxx]

Lol. We do french kiss, we do it all the time.

[xxlilvampxx]

Oh Btw, Im 16.

AND I Dont want S_x yet.

[Dating Coach]

Oh Btw, Im 16.

AND I Dont want S_x yet.

 

Good for you!