First "official" date, any advice ?

[Davidde]

Hi,

 

I'm new to the forum , I'm 27 and just met a very interesting girl. Heres my little problem... (might be quite bad lol) I've been single for 5-6 years (been working a LOT during that time) Now I meet this girl at a halloween party that a few friends organized on Saturday.

 

I dance with her, and a few friends and I (her included) sleep over at a friends place. We slept snuggled together and that was it. ( Let me say I never realised I've really really missed that ) Next morning we all went out for breakfast and I brought her back home afterwards.( got her number before leaving )

 

Now we talked on the phone learned a bit about each other, and I asked her out this Saturday. I proposed a movie and she said " Well we can do more than a movie too.. " I take thats a good thing ... Now, heres what I have planned so far, before going the movie , go out to St-Sauveur ( up north ) in a medium (classy) restaurant nothing to out of this world, and head down to see a movie. Then MAYBE if we have time , play a game of pool.

 

Heres the tricky part... I was thinking of when I picked her up to leave a rose on the seat of the car for her... is that to much ?

 

Other thing is... I'm fairly embarrased about it too..., is how should I kiss her if the time comes ! We kissed gently on the first night just little kisses. I mean I've been single for the last 5-6 years, I've lost it i got to admit...

 

How do you all go ahead with a situation like this ? (if i may ask..)

 

Thanks for the help!

 

Dave

[amtjrtcet]

Um, I'd say hold off on the rose. As far as the kiss, don't worry about planning it out. If it feels right, go for it. Good luck!!

[booberry]

I think the rose is a really sweet thing to do. Go for it! It sounds like you have things well planned out, but don't worry about the specifics (like the kiss!) let some things happen naturally, and don't plan so much that you're not open to some fun spontaneity!

[Dating Coach]

Yes it is too much. I am sure you will get a lot of, "Awww that's sweet, I'd love that!" responses, but ignore it. "Thinking" of something like that as romantic and positive when the situation is described is a lot different than actually being in a situation like that.

 

You're doing very well so far. Take her out, have a good time, but you should not be buying her affection with gifts. She'll find out what kind of guy you are on her own by simply spending time with you. You don't need to make an effort to show her. She's smart.

[Dating Coach]

I think the rose is a really sweet thing to do. Go for it!

 

See, I called it.

[Davidde]

See, I called it.

 

hehe Yeah I'm thinking about it , and it might be a bit to much like you say... I'll hold off on the idea i think!

[BornToResist]

I would also suggest you hold off on the rose.

 

It definently is a sweet gesture, but I think it's a little much for a first date. I know for me it would add a little pressure.

 

As for the kiss, see how things go! Don't worry so much (easier said than done) but just wait til there's a "moment" and if it feels right, go for it!

 

Good luck!!!

[luvursmile]

I personally like the rose idea, its sweet. I'd like to suggest Not taking her to a movie. Its your first date, and thats when you'd like to talk and get to know each other better and you cant talk in a movie theatre. I would suggest taking her for dinner, then maybe a night-cap or take a nice walk, depending on where you live...like in a park or something along those lines. As far as the kiss goes, if you see a connection there, go for the gold!

[Beec]

OK, first of all. Welcome to enotalone. Stick around and come back. You may learn soemthing, you may be able to help someone.

 

Now, as far as your date: CHANGE EVERYTHING. I've been through my single strecthes too, but I have not relly gone many weekes without a date inthe last few, unless you consider being with her all the time over the last year or so not a date. There were multiple years when I dated more women than can be counted on a pair of hands.

 

OK, dinner and movie is a bit cliche but fine. But please rverse the order they are in. Movie first, then dinner. Frankly, I hate movies as dates, but you asked her for one, and should not change it now. So, movie first, then go to dinner and you have a built in topic to talk about; the movie.

 

Travelling a great distance to go out would also be out in my book. Stay near home. You do not want to seem as if you are pulling out any stops for this woman. It's date, not anything more, not a big deal.

 

Where for dinner? OK, let me explain what I thought was my perfect first date spot: reasonably priced, Italian, not a romantic atmosphere, not someplace I could not talk. If you want to see a menu, look at: link removed. I preferred a place that offers an antipasta platter as an appetizer, in case she decides to pass. In which case, I order one and we can split it, as she wishes. For dessert and coffee, I tell her not to order and we go down the street to a pastry place. Pool afterward will work well too. So, dinner at some place reasonable, not loud, not romantic, not too, too anything.

 

No flowers, please no flowers. You will seem like you are trying to smooze her or buy her affection. Do not do that, she should enjoy being with you, and that should be enough.

 

When you kiss, just lean in and do it. She has kissed you already, don't worry about it, she likes you.

[Davidde]

I personally like the rose idea, its sweet. I'd like to suggest Not taking her to a movie. Its your first date, and thats when you'd like to talk and get to know each other better and you cant talk in a movie theatre. I would suggest taking her for dinner, then maybe a night-cap or take a nice walk, depending on where you live...like in a park or something along those lines. As far as the kiss goes, if you see a connection there, go for the gold!

 

Yeah I thought of the walk but I live in quebec, pretty cold these days ... 5-6 degrees out. The movie I really hesitated on too, I personally liked the idea of Supper / Pool ...

 

Really appreciate the tips so far !

[Siriana]

I wouldn't bring a rose (but that's me - I would be kinda freeked out if I got one at the first date. Actually it happened with my current bf and I asked here on Ena is he normal or not? he's a great bf, but he almost was kicked out from the game because I tought he was clingy.)

 

How should you kiss her? Well don't worry about that, you were sleeping cuddled with her - so I don't think a kiss is going to be mission impossible.

You'll see how the evening will go and than be spontaneous. Don't even bother about the kiss. If you click with her it will come naturaly.

 

We can do more than a movie too?! hm, I am really twisted - I immediatelly tought about sex. LOL. My dirty mind..

[Day_Walker]

The rose is only going to marginally help you but it could end up being very bad for you so i say hold off on it. I am not a big fan of the whole dinner and a movie date. If you feel that it is manditory to do dinner and a movie then how about watching a movie back at her place after dinner is done.

Personally I prefer a first date to be fun and light hearted, typically one where you can talk, the normal first date is dinner and some activity; pool, mini golf or something semi competitive. The idea is to have fun on the date and dont worry about impressing her with other things, impress her with yourself.

[Davidde]

Ok so I reworked the date...

 

Found a close restaurant (casa grecque) for those that know that restaurant, very good food and classy. I'll hold off on the rose , and instead of a movie and pool, I'll take her to an indoor driving range. I remember when we spoke on monday she said she loved golf.

 

Theres also a bar and resto inside , so it should be decent for talking to each other. I've never played golf so that should be worth a laugh too

 

I'll talk to her about the movie see if she what she thinks about it, cause I'm thinking she maybe didn't want to go because she wants to know me better, like some of you mentionned. Makes sense to knock it off.

 

I thank you all for the great help...

[Beec]

Good luck, but I doubt you need it. Sounds like a good date. So long as you can laugh at yourself.

[luvursmile]

Hope it works out! Good luck! and it sounds like a good plan..