Once again...asking for advices...

[frozenblaze]

Hello everyone, it's been almost 6 months since I have'nt posted here. I got a few love stories that did not went far enough for me to care. But now there is this girl i met like 2 months ago. We spent time together... going to concerts, going out for a coffee or for a walk outside and it really was fun to be with her. So after a month of hanging out with the other we decided to date more seriously. We've been together for 3 weeks and the last week was kinda weird, she was really sick so she missed like 3 days of school ( I could not see her) and then yesterday she decided that we should end up this relationship saying : "I need to spend time alone", and I replied : "should I wait for you then ?" she told me that no, i should'nt wait that she did not thought that we were going to get back together. Asking for friendship I told her that I did not want to hurt myself with something that would make me feel uneasy so I told her that perhaps we should not try to contact the other (the famous NC, I guess). But then yesterday was the first day she took an appartment where we both study (she used to go back to her town like 20 minutes away from here every night) and it was mostly to spend more time with the me... I mean if she wanted to break-up why would she try to be around me more... she would save money by still living at her parent's house and she would'nt be near me...

 

The thing is, for the first time i'm really trying NC and i have no plan to change that yet. I'm doing this because I want her to realize if she misses me or not. And today I saw her in the hallways of the college and she was mostly looking as if she was sad of my decision to have NC. No hello, just sad eyes and no smile on her face (she is ALWAYS smiling). I almost pity her for I can live without her but I feel like she regrets the words she used... Ok now for the advices I need I'll ask two questions :

 

1- Does someone can change their mind about saying things like : no i dont think we'll ever get back together...or do they say it just to convince themselves...

 

2-I know the NC thing is the best for both of us, since she is the one who ended the relationship I have to wait for her to talk to me right (if she ever does)?

 

P.S. The biggest obstacle between the two of us is the age gap (8 years) for the rest I think we are almost identical in morals and ideas(much to my surprise)... The only reason to break she gave me was that she was mixed up and feeling weird now so she needed some rest for her heart... I really have done NOTHING I can think that would make her feel angry about me so I'm still caugth wondering what happenned... and yes... missing her... sadly.

[in_love]

ok, to me this sounds like you smothered her!

 

Sounds like it... dunno though. Just back off and continue what yer doing and have fun with friends etc, maybe change in yourself what you feel contributed to her decision.

 

1- Does someone can change their mind about saying things like : no i dont think we'll ever get back together...or do they say it just to convince themselves...

 

People can always change their minds and we ALL say stuff that we sometimes dont really feel.... that's including "I love you"

 

2-I know the NC thing is the best for both of us, since she is the one who ended the relationship I have to wait for her to talk to me right (if she ever does)?

 

I dunno, all I know is that when you go out and have fun it kinda works!!! lol... it's like... as soon as you start moving on stuff starts to happen!

 

I aint an expert but this kinda thing has been happening to me recently.

[frozenblaze]

Well I don't consider I smothered her... We barely saw each other on our last week and it happenned too fast for me to notice anything weird in our relationship... We had a conversation yesterday, I asked if there were any reasons she would not tell me for breaking up and yet the only thing she could think of was : it did not worked out anymore for her... How can you like (love) someone on a day and then feel nothing the next day ? To me it is kinda puzzling... She also told me that there were no one else on her mind so the "other person" theory is also untrue... I guess that all I can do is NC, trying to build-up my confidence (again), yet I really do miss her and it has an impact on everything I am doing...studies...work... I just think that love is sick nowadays... We entered an era where everyone wants to be loved but then no one seems to find it on their way, being too much critical and asking for more that they can have... where are we going ???

[in_love]

We entered an era where everyone wants to be loved but then no one seems to find it on their way, being too much critical and asking for more that they can have... where are we going ???

 

Man I couldnt agree more... I think the problem is the lack of love in the world... most people, pfft! they dont give a toss about each other and with the pressures of careers, image, fashion etc and so on... man I so feel for the kids of the future, what a crappy place this world will be for them....

 

...I am definitely not a pessimist but it doesnt take Einstein to realise something is wrong and VERY wrong indeed.

[frozenblaze]

You should think more positively, love exists as long as you feel it in you. Maybe you won't find people who feel it the same way or as much as you do but if there is still a sparkle of love in your heart remaining, it lives. I always have been deceived by my partners but then I still consider that love is a great and awesome thing because I can feel it burning inside, it can hurt yes, but it can also enlight your life...

 

Anyway for now, I lost some of my illusions but I still believe that there is something strong for I can feel it, the only truth is in me, love keeps me alive and prevents me from losing hope. I can only dream of it right now, but that's what life is all about dreams and hopes...