my ex lives on my Myspace page!

[av82]

ok well me and my ex have been broken up now for a year....and its been very hard to get over our break up...(he broke up w/ me) but anyway...two months ago I finally got up the nerve and told him I wanted him out of my life...I should have done this a long time ago honestly...but it was just hard cause he was always saying he was confused about things and blah blah...but anyway thats why I just reached a point to where I told him what I said...I tried to work on our friendship after we broke up...but he was saying that he wasnt ready yet...I mean who says that...that they arent ready to be your friend?

 

any how...my friends have been informing me that he constantly goes to my page everyday...and when I heard that...I started to use a tracker...some really work...and sure enough...I catch him looking EVERYDAY...at least three times a day guys....and this has been going on now for about four months straight, everyday...but whatever...just wanted to share that...I know I shouldnt read into that...I mean I care for the guy...but he put me through sooooo much that I eventually reached my breaking point...I just would love to know...what is so interesting on my page...that he cant stop looking! on top of that...my friends have trackers too and they catch him looking at their profile to see my response...and he does this everytime they leave a comment on my page....

 

I have had NO CONTACT w/ him for two months now...and plan on not saying anything at all...all I can say is that in the past I used to always be the one chasing him around and apologizing anytime we argued...but I didnt do that this time...I just told him goodbye and never wrote or made any contact to him again...

[Batya33]

Who cares? Why keep checking? Is it crucial for you to keep having a myspace page? It's so easy to get caught up in over-analyzing "why" someone is logging in - since you have decided to allow him access to your page, and to have a page, anyone in the world, including him, can look as much as he or she wants. If you didn't want that to happen you shouldn't have had a myspace page and/or made it private.

[av82]

I really dont feel I should have my page private because of him...I mean really...I'm not planning on saying anything to him...the real question is why does he care about my page? I was just sharing this on here...cause I thought it was interesting...but everyone is free to speak their mind...= ).....and again its been a year....I've had a LONG road of recovery...and its not like I dont want it to happen....I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND MYSPACE IS A PUBLIC WEBSITE...but again...I'm not going private...cause then I would be running from him...and I have a lot of people I want to reconnect w/ on the website....and I want to keep my Myspace page thank you very much!

 

and I dont think I made it clear...or maybe you didnt understand...I dont even visit his page! so I dont know when he logs on or what not....the gist of the thread is...he's checking up on me...and asking about me...why? I dont know....

[nicorette]

i dont know but it doesnt matter why to be completely honest. maybe subconsciously you are hoping for something to come out of this. but its not. youll just be leading up to disappointment, i say just quit checking to see if he goes to your page and find a real man cos obvously he isnt the one for you

[JoeWho]

He is probably just curious about what you are up to. Dont even waste a minute thinking about if he wants you back or not. If he did he would let you know.

[av82]

ok I'm going to explain myself one more time....I dont even use my dang tracker everyday....all I'm saying is....or maybe asking...why would he be check it constantly? and I mean I'm not hiding anything....YEA...I would love to know why he's looking...I think we all would want to know if our ex is checking up on it....I really feel all of us should not be jumping down each other's throat about why caring...because why are we all on this thread to begin w/....we're supposed to be helping each other out!....and yes I have dated after my ex....so its not like I havent moved on or what not...I mean I care about the guy...we have a long history....and we have remained talking for a period after breaking up afterwards....but I think we all would be curious...realistically....

[nicorette]

all I'm saying is....or maybe asking...why would he be check it constantly?

 

i have no idea. i dont know your ex, i am not your ex and dont want to know your ex. i think you just need to let it go. no oen says you check your tracker everyday i think you are just being sensitive. were trying to help you out by telling you not to even think anything about it cos its not worth you wasting your time on.

[LeftBehind]

I'm on both sides of this issue.

 

I go to *her* page alot. Because I miss her like crazy. Then again, she's the one who broke things off with me.

 

I have a tracker also. She can only log on like once or twice a week.

 

But for a while every time she logged on she went to my page. I can tell she was reading my blog too because it showed several visits in a matter of minutes.

 

The last few times though, she hasn't gone to it once. So I dunno.....I guess she was just checking up on me, and isn't all that interested in coming back.

 

But If he's on your myspace page THAT much, something is up.

 

Because I can tell you, I'm in a similar spot. And I miss her like CRAZY. Even after 5 months of NC. I miss her like I've never missed anyone before.

[Siriana]

Because he hasn't moved. Why? The answer to that question doesn't know anyone except him.

[av82]

hmmmm....and again...it was just a thread I decided to write out of curiosity...but maybe this was something I should have kept to myself per say....which is why I told myself to not even starting again on this website...but hey...there is always going to be someone that tries to downput the other by trying to look good maybe? I would like to know though why many us are even on the thread of Breaking Up...if we're not going to share our stories...or truly help....like you say...cause all you're doing is the opposite...I'm really not feeling any help here but negative feedback...so this will be my last message I write or read...thanx for reading all!

[LeftBehind]

hmmmm....and again...it was just a thread I decided to write out of curiosity...but maybe this was something I should have kept to myself per say....which is why I told myself to not even starting again on this website...but hey...there is always going to be someone that tries to downput the other by trying to look good maybe? I would like to know though why many us are even on the thread of Breaking Up...if we're not going to share our stories...or truly help....like you say...cause all you're doing is the opposite...I'm really not feeling any help here but negative feedback...so this will be my last message I write or read...thanx for reading all!

 

I think you're taking it too seriously, and I don't mean to attack there.

 

But this IS just a message board. It's just text. No one was trying to attack you.

 

No one can REALLY help you, but you. You can ask people for ways for YOU to help yourself, but in the end only you can help yourself.

 

And that last line, sounds like a bluff to me. I can't tell you how many times I've seen that line written on message boards because someone took replies too personally.

 

Geez. Life is too short for this crap.

[nicorette]

im on here to help...youre not feeling any help but negative feedback?

tehn why does your signature say..:

 

***without negativity there is no positivity***

 

look were trying to give you help. and the help is to do absolutely nothing and leave it alone. i told you you could find someone a lot better and not waste your time on this guy. but you do waht you want youre just very sensitive and need to realize people arent always going to sugarcoat things for you cos it snot going to make anything better.

[av82]

my issue is that...we all seem to attack each other period when it comes to the whole breaking up thing...I mean we all have some kind of issue...which is why we're on here....its easy to say...yes just move on...and I think that is a very bleak and fake way to give advice...cause you're just contradicting yourself...I completely agree w/ you...that we can only help each other....100 % but my main issue w/ this website...is that I see others contradicting and not being realistically when it comes to these type of issues...we can tell the other person to move on...but yet...we dont do it ourself...and that not being real w/ oneself...dont mean to brag....and I know what I'm talking about...I'm a Psych Major and work in this type of field...I think that is not a good way in helping each other at all...I dont think I'm being sensitive...but rather I find it annoying when I see others speak to each other like that...

[av82]

I completely know people are not gonna sugarcoat me...but there is no need to mean either...and those two things are different....no need to tell me that...but you're completely missing the gist of what I'm saying...and why I wrote the thread...please read my last post....

 

and thanx LeftBehind...its good to see someone understands...that is all I'm trying to see...we ALL....have different experiences on a different level...and I hope I explained myself enough....trust me...its been a long road...and if anything...I should be helping all of you...I just wanted to see what everyone thought about my ex checking my page so many times...geez...

[Batya33]

My reaction is the same - find better things to do with your time than figuring out why people are logging on to your myspace page -that can easily get obsessive. If you feel you must have a public myspace page this is one of the tradeoffs (there are others but I won't get into that here). For all you know he is not checking - one of his friends or his new girlfriend is logging on as him - you have no idea.

[gnabna]

i am guessing he checks in on you, even though he did the breaking up, because a part of you will always be a part of him.... once you spend time investing insomeones life it is hard to not be curious how they are doing.

 

myspace is just a convenient way for him to see how you are doing and not have to actualy open himself back up to you.

 

i am curious which tracker you are using, i thought if you had a tracker the other person had to belong to the same tracker to be able to see who was looking- in others words he would be able to tell that you were looking at his as well? if you even do....

 

sorry it is causing your thoughts to migrate back to him. honestly putting your settings to private really might help you not obsess as to why he is looking.

 

 

[Siriana]

Well what you want to hear as an answer? What is a question? Is this just a vent. Do you want to hear how your ex is desperately in love with you? You got really great answers - I didn't tell you to get over it. i told you the reason why?

[deejay74]

what tracker are you using if i may ask? i know that the default tracker on your profile doesn't tell you WHO is looking at your profile, it only tells you how many visitors you've had since you started your profile.

 

in addition, there were a few "hacks" several months back that allowed you to specifically see who's been looking at your profile but the myspace gestapo put a stop to entering that code into your profile, so which one are you using?

 

send me a pm if you don't want to tell everyone which one you're using. i really am interested in getting a tracker but again, as far as i am aware, none of them work anymore.

 

thanks!

[kamurj]

Everyone please take a deep breath and stop insulted each other.

 

If you disagree do it in a respectful, constructive way without calling names and labeling each others.

[Weeblie]

Geez. I hope that last line isn't true.

Why is he checking your page all the time? Well because your page is about you and your life. Because he probably was doing that before he broke up with you and he can't kick the habit. He's curious as to what's going on with your life. He probably misses you on some level. But it's probably only a comfort thing. There's a guide to No Contact on this thread that explains the phenomen beautifully.

 

Yeah he misses you. Yeah he cares about your life....BUT he ended things with you for a reason and that's why he hasn't contacted you since you stopped talking to him. If he wants you back he clearly knows one way to get in touch with you. Keep up the no contact thing. This guy put your through a lot and NC is a really good way to forget about him.

 

Also, If it makes it uncomfortable for you to know that he's watching you...delete the tracker.

 

And my myspace story. I check my ex's page every stinking day. He dumped me. I don't even know why I look at it anymore. It's just habit. Nothing ever happens. His pictures are all the same. No one ever leaves him comments. It's so boring. But I look because I hope there's some sort of secret message for me. So maybe that's what's going on in your ex's head.

[LeftBehind]

This is exactly my train of thought checking *her* page.

 

Except lots of people leave her comments because she has 10 people's share of friends.

 

Makes me angry to see how many friends she has, and how few I have.

 

Then again. Better to have a few great friends than a ton of shady ones.

 

I keep waiting to see that "single" status turn to "in a relationship".

 

Still hasn't. I kinda wish it would frankly. I'm tired of holding on to something that's been dead for so long.

[av82]

yea...thanx for the replies...I really have to get rid of that tracker...and everyday I been trying to set a limit for myself everyday...well I actually began by not looking at his page...which that was hard to begin w/....but he still keeps looking everyday...as we speak I have four views for today already and now I have to manage myself to stop using that tracker...it gets addicting let me tell ya

 

I can agree w/ the fact that when I kept checking my ex's page all time before...I kept watching the single status...to see if it would changed...but it never did...I dont know if it has or not...but what not he still looks at my page...and I cant agree much more w/ the fact of holding onto something that has been dead for so long...

 

it's just so curious to know why he keeps looking...but its true...if he wants to say something he knows where to find me...

 

all I can say to all of us going through the similar thing is to try to focus on what we realistically know...they arent w/ us...and thats the sad truth...but we eventually manage

[av82]

and I just wanted to add to those interested in using a tracker...to please not consider it...it gets addicting...and only brings a huge headache...I wouldnt recommend it myself...

 

I only say that for the sake of trying to heal properly...

[av82]

true Batya...it does get addictive...and it seems everyone has a different opinion on the tracker thing...as to some will use it...and some will not use it...its a belief that we all share independently....and I'm not disagreeing w/ you that it doesnt get obsessive...I admit it...I have become addictive to it....as a matter of fact...I actually do not recommend anyone to start using a tracker...as I stated...cause it only causes a headache to oneself...and we bring that upon ourself...

 

now as far as it being a girlfriend or a friend....I 100% doubt that...and I see why you say that...but thats a little vague to say that...it doesnt make any sense...I know his ip address...I know how the tracker works...and I know its him checking it...I can prove it to you...and there is no need to prove it to you....but its one of those things where I know because my friends always tell me he always asks about me...

 

and he lives at home w/ his parents....so I can tell that much his parents will not allow him to live w/ a girlfriend or not even to come over...he's a man...but thats how his parents are...believe it or not...I know the guy...I dated him and was friends w/ him for a long time....if he's dating someone....who knows?...I dont know...cause I havent been on his page for such a long time...but thats that

[surviveitall]

You HAVE to tell me how to find that tracker!!!!