Trusting that he didnt cheat....or did he?

[LovinIt]

Hello. I have been feeling really uncomfortable about my boyfriend and I am not sure why. He spends all of his time with me, and I should not suspect him of anything, however, him and I have been through some rough times in the past. When things were just going wrong with him, I started hanging out with someone else, and after all that went down, I found out he might have done a little something of HIS own. A couple people have told me he did, but I have no real proof, and he has denied everything. Now, we have moved on..for the most part, and out of respect to him, I have no contact with this other man, and all I ask for is that he does not have contact with this girl. They work together, well, we ALL worked together, and after fidning some pictures online of halloween, i see a picture of them together, with their arms around each other.

 

It makes me VERY suspicious, and angry, even though it is only a picture. I hate this girl, i really do, and I find it disrespectful that they are close in this picture, even if it is of all the employees. SHould I be upset about this..or even annoyed, or is it silly?? It just hurts me to much, and bothers me to see her hand touching his leg! He is always with me, so why am I having such a hard time believing that nothing ever happened. Chances are I will NEVER find out, if something did, so is there any sense in letting this hurt my relationship?? I dont know what to do. I love him very much, and do not want to feel upset about this. Help!!! Am i silly?

[Siriana]

When things were just going wrong with him, I started hanging out with someone else, and after all that went down, I found out he might have done a little something of HIS own.

 

If I got this sentence right - you were seeing someone so did he. Well looks like you have no right to be jelous based on that.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

It seems to me that you both had a small "indiscretion". Obviously, you've given up yours, but has he given up his..I don't know. No one here can tell you. You are going to have to ask him straight out if you really want to know.

[LovinIt]

Let me clarify. After I got caught doing something else, I profusely apologized, and learned that no matter what, it was not worth it. I did whatever I could to make things work, but to find out that he might have cheated before I did, and then put me throuhg the ringer is really hard to swallow, because I will never know. I dont think he would ever tell me especially now that its been so long.

[Goldfish6888]

It doesn't matter who cheats "before" or "after" each other. The issue here is the lack of trust, confidence/respect for each other that made both of you cheat in the first place.....

 

If you want to make this work, accept you messed up and he should accept he messed up, wipe the slate clean and move on with each other on a clean slate. Otherwise this is going to eat you up inside. Trust is so important for your relationship. You are both going to have to work on building up the trust.

 

If he is not pulling his weight in this, then its time to talk to him about?

[Hope75]

Let me clarify. After I got caught doing something else, I profusely apologized, and learned that no matter what, it was not worth it. I did whatever I could to make things work, but to find out that he might have cheated before I did, and then put me throuhg the ringer is really hard to swallow, because I will never know. I dont think he would ever tell me especially now that its been so long.

 

It sounds like both of you handled stress in the relationship in the worst possible way, by seeking comfort in others rather than dealing with it with each other, where the problem really was.

 

At this point you admit to having cheated, and he has not- and you are not even sure that he had. In order for both of you to be able to work through this, you must have complete honesty and respect for each other, and if you feel that you are not getting that from him, perhaps it's time to re evaluate whether the relationship is really "fixed" or whether the damage that BOTH of you did to it is just too much for you to be able to repair it.

[illusionglimps]

I passed through the same thing .He sent me by mistake a picture from hsi prom(which he didn't invited me to altough I was his gf for over a year and such) ..a picture where he was with some of his male friends and 2 other girls ,and he was *holding hands* with this girl.Well i aasked him and he just said that it's one of his bestfriends(lately everyone is his bestfriend) and that I am overreacting.Well I took it as an excuse anyway but I swallowed my thoughts cause I wasn't going to fight with him anymore.I believe in him but that pic looked suspicious..I really know how you feel,But it's best for us to forget about it if we don't have any otehr proof ...